Watin Bible i say long marit dispas?

Em i tambu long marit, olsem?

Matim 19:1-12

By Rev. Mike Osborne

Long taim Jesus i finish long ol tok, em i go ausait long Galilea, i go long distrik bilong Judea, long narapela sait bilong Jordan. Kainkain man i followim, na em i helem ol long narapela sait. Ol Pharise i kam long em, ol i laik testim. Ol i askim, “Is it right long man i divorce im meri long ol kain kain reason?”

“Yu no lusim tok,” em i ripostim, “long asua bilong olgeta, Kria i mekim ol man meri, na i tok, ‘Long dis reason, man i go we long papa na mama, na i join long meri, na tupela i kam wanpela bodi.’ Olsem, ol i no longer tu, wail wan. Olsem, watem God i joinim, man no separetim.”

“Taim ol Pharise i askim, “Taim olsem, a why Moses i komandim man i givim sertifiket bilong divorce long meri, na i senim i go?”

Jesus i ripostim, “Moses i pemisim yu long divorceim ol meri bilong yu, long wanem ol het bilong yu i hard. Tasol, em i no olsem long asua bilong olgeta. Mi tokim yu, man i divorce im meri, no long adultery, na i marim narapela meri, em i mekim adultery.”

Ol disciples i tok long em, “Sapos olsem i go long man na meri, i beter no marit.”

Jesus i ripostim, “No ol man i ken akseptim dis tok, tasol ol i ken akseptim long ol i givim. Long wanem, ol i kastrate long ol i born olsem; narapela i mekim olsem long man; na narapela i givim up long marit long narapela bilong heaven. Ol i ken akseptim, i akseptim.”

Word bilong God.

Yu go long planti marit, olsem mi. Na long ol marit, ol i mekim vow. Groom i tok olsem, “Mi, Joe, mi take yu, Mary, long be my wedded meri, na mi promis na kovenant long God na ol witness long be yu loving na faithful man—long planti na long wantaim, long jay na long sori, long sikna long healt—long taim mi na yu i laif.”

Em i tambu, sapos statistics i kolos long stret, Joe na Mary i no save decidim long marit, afta 5, 7, 10, 15, 20, o liklik moa yia, ol i go hetim. Ol i tokim ol fren ol i marit long yungpel. Ol i tokim kot ol i no save kambek. Ol i eksplenim long liklik pikin ol i no faul, tasol Mami na Dadi no save kam long narapla. Na sapos Dadi i go we.

40 na 50 percent bilong ol marit i end long devas. Tasol ol i save, devas i no save endim nating. I tambu, i save kreatim moa problem — finansis, emosional, spiritual, sosial, even fisikal.

Some bilong yu think i no save happen long yu. Some bilong yu single think, “Oh, mi no save considerim devas.” Ol bilong yu i marit na i marit long taim, yu think yu i no save long problem. Tasol mi wantim yu save long moning: no wan marit i devas proof. Sapos yu i marit, tasol long grais bilong God, yu i devas long tede.

Na sapos yu i devas, mi wantim yu long moning — no ran away long dispela topik. No letim guilt o shame i overwhelm yu. I tambu yu save talkim dispela. Mi save i gat planti yut long chuch, planti pikin, single, na marit couple. Dispela i mas be subject yu save diskusim free na without fear.

Na even sapos yu sin i kontribilim long yu devas, let mi remindim yu long wan ting yu singim i go long narapla:

Jesus i silim law bilong god i strong. I i daiim daunim Mount Sinai i fire. I wasim yu long blood bilong I, na I presentim soul bilong yu long God.

Grais i grater, fren — grais i grater than yu devas.

Mi wantim i doim long moning i bringim tripela ting. Mi i long seri bilong summer, ol i kolim Honest Answers for Honest Questions, na wan man i submitim dispela question long couple bilong months i go:

So mipela i go long dispela mater. Na mi laikim to doim tripela samting:

1. God i planim marit. 2. God i givim pasin bilong divorce. 3. I tambu long aplikim.

Yumi go insait.

1. God i Planim Marit

Dispela pasaji yumi harim i red, em i wanpela long olgeta ples long Bible wea i tambu long doktrin bilong Lord long marit, divorce, na remarriage. I tambu tru.

Seting i long verse 3. Lukim long Bible bilong yumi. I tok ol Pharisees i kam long testim Jisas. Ol i try long trapim – ol i try long putim long korner, long mekim i go against Mosaic Law na mekim i look olsem man i no save long frens. Ol i askim, “I tambu long man i divorce meri bilong i long olgeta kain?”

I gat tupela skul long taim bilong Jisas – wan konservativ, wan liberal. Olsem tude, yumi see ol konservativ na liberal i laini up long town hall long askim kestin wea i save mekim kanditat i look olsem man i no save na swingim vote. Olsem, ol Pharisees i laini up bifo Jisas long i save gat rait na laft long mater bilong divorce.

Kestin bilong ol i kring long wanpasaji long Old Testament – Deuteronomy 24. Wok bilong i i long “saiting indecent”. Tru, long Hebrew, i min “wanthing bilong nakedness” o “wanthing bilong uncleanness”. I hard long yumi tude long knowim eksaktly wat Moses i min. Olsem narapela ples i showim, i refer long… human waste long kamp. Wanthing bilong uncleanness.

Skul konservativ, i followim Rabbi Shammai, i tok “saiting indecent” i mas long sin bilong seks – marital infidelity o adultery. Skul liberal, i followim Rabbi Hillel, i tok i save long olmos anything husat i no laik. Sapos meri i kukim bacon, i save divorceim. Sapos meri i gain w8, i save divorceim.

Olsem Pharisees i kam long Jisas na i tok, “Jisas, Hillel i rait? I save man i divorce meri bilong i long burnim bacon – long olgeta kain?”

Na Jesus i no laik stilim long stande. Nogat, em i bringim i go back long Genesis 1 na 2.

“I no you read,” Em i tok, “dat long bipo, Kria i mekim ol man meri… na tupela i go long wan fles? Olsem, wat God i joinim tigu, man no save separatin.”

Wat Jesus i tok?

Em i tok dat marit i wan fles, permanent union blong wan man na wan meri—wan covenant blong olgeta laif, no save brokin except long ded. Dat i design blong God.

Notis long olketa wods:

Verse 6: marit i wan joining—a joining blong tupela man long God.

Verse 5: marit i wan laving na wan cleaving. Wan man na meri i laving ol parent, mekim vow long God na ol witness, na enter long nupela relationship we i bindim tupela tigu olsem glue. We tupela i tu bipo, nau tupela i wan.

Nau, mi no dat i tambu tru. I hard long yumi long wrapim mind blong yumi long en. I olsem long Trinity. Yumi bilif dat God i wan—wan being, wan God—yet long tri person. Tri distinct person long Godhead, na yet tupela i wan. Marit i olsem: tu i go long wan.

O thinkim long Velcro. I gat kain industrial strength Velcro we, wanem i press tigu, i no save pulim apart. Dat i olsem marit. Long marit covenant, God i “cement,” yu no save tok, ol husband na meri tigu long olsem we, without losim ol individual personalities, tupela i long moment blong wedding i wan fles, wan person.

Romans 7:2 i save, woman i stap marit, em i bind long han bilong em. Same idea—bind, kleave, wanfles unity. Dat mean ol i stap intimate long olgeta wei. Ol i share olgeta samting. Ol i tok long olgeta samting. Ol i no save long sekrit. Ol i make desinison wantaim. Ol i suffer wantaim. Ol i sukses wantaim. Ol i fail wantaim. Ol i nakat na no shame wantaim—no just fisik, but emosional, psikolodjik, spiritual. Ol i, long narapela wur, ol i kompanyon klostu long narapela. Ol i best fren long narapela.

Na dat i why God i institut marit long fis plas: long meetim nid bilong yumi long kompanyon. Dat i no mean ol man i kol long marit, tasol ol man i find kompanyon klostu long marit.

So devos, long apin, i kontri long ideal bilong God. Em i separitim ol man i save stap wantaim olgeta laif. Devos i, yu mas say, an amputesin—a katim narapela man long narapela. A peinful ripim apart long wanpela fabris God i design long stap wantaim.

Some long yu i no dat long wan yia na haf i go, mi i had an ACDF—wan anterior cervical discectomy na fusion. Mi i had herniated disc bitwin C6 na C7 long nek bilong mi. Ol i go long throet—sori long mekim yu no lik—remuvim herniated disc, insertim wanpela piece long kadaver bon long fuse vertebrae, na then attachim metal plate long holdim olgeta wantaim. Now imagine narapela man i teke dat metal plate na ripim out long throet bilong mi. Unthinkable. Peinful. Awful. Dat i what devos i laik—rippim apart long wat God i fuse wantaim.

Now, yu i mas think dat bikoz long strong tok bilong Jesus, dat i end long kwestren. Wanem yu i marit, i no wai out. Devos i out long kwestren.

Wrong.

Bikoz Jesus, long Matthew 19, i go on long say dat i taim long devos i permit.

Em i laik long showim yu long naru minit olsem, Jisas no komandim divorce, tasol i no condemnim tu. I no tokave long divorce, tasol i allowim. I gat bik difference.

Lukim verse 7, 8, na 9. Pharisei askim, “Tasol yumi askim, why Moses komandim man i givim sertifiket long wif i na salim i go?” Jisas ripon, “Moses allowim yu long divorce wif i bilong yu, long wanem i harim het. Tasol i no bin olsem long bipo. Mi tokim yu, man i divorce wif i, no long adultery, na maritim naru woman, i mekim adultery.”

Notisim Pharisei i go rong. I tok Moses komandim divorce. I no komandim olsem. Deuteronomy 24 i tok long kas long kot. I asyum divorce i laik happen, na i tok, “Yu doim olsem if i happen.” Moses i no introdusim divorce; i regulaitim. Na Jisas koretim: Moses allowim divorce.

Some long yu laik surpris long knowim i gat eksampel long Bible olsem God i sanksinim divorce. Long Ezra 9–10, God komandim Israel i divorce wif i bilong naru kantri. Long Matthew 1, Joseph—i kolim “man i laikim God”—i laik divorce Mary kwait. Na long Old Testament, God i “divorce” Israel long idolatri (Hosea 2, Jeremiah 3, na naras).

Imajinim wanpela china i laik ekspensiv, i laik treasured, i laikim long kipim na onorim. Tokim i no laik brokin i no mean i no laik brokin. Na long olsem, wail marit i laikim long gardim na preservim, i gat situesen long we covenant bond i laik brokin.

Yu laik askim, “Wail i laik brokin covenant bond?”

Em i ansaim: no long dei bilong naru spaus—na mi no rekomandim anyone long tryim—i gat tu we covenant marit i laik brokin.

Mi laik tok about em i go first: no marit wail. Dat i olsem tok i go long verse 9: “Em i man i no laikim em i meri, no long marit wail, na marit narapela woman, em i man i mekim adultery.”

Dis verse i bin debat long olsem kantri. Mi laik mekim i go simple long ol.

I gat tupela Greek word long verse 9 yu need i go understand.

Ol tok “marit wail” i translatim Greek word porneia—root bilong word bilong yumi pornografi. I olsem olsem general Greek word bilong sin long seks. I kaun prostitus, adulteri, fornikasen, inses, akt homoseksual, poligami, bestialiti—ol ekspresen bilong seks long autsait long marit rilensip bilong man na woman.

Porneia i olsem i go long figurativ long Skripta i go tok long Israel i no laikim—her no laikim long Lord. Dat i olsem NIV i go long olsem tok marital unfaithfulness. ESV i go long literal na i go long olsem tok seks immoraliti.

Mi laik tok olsem: porneia i olsem aktiviti immoral—espeseli seks—dat i go bruk olsem unioin long kontrakt bilong husban na wif.

Narapela Greek word long verse 9 i moicheia—narrower word i mean adulteri, intimasi long marit man na narapela no long em i spouse.

Jesus i go long olsem long pasis dat i go long taim i husban o wif i go long olsem aktiviti—aktiviti dat i go long kontrap olsem unioin long yumi i bin tok—i ofend spouse i laik go long aplikesen long divorce. Dat i no go long sinful divorce, nogut sin i go long kontrap long divorce. Yu i see dat? Divorce i olsem i legit, nogut sin i go long kontrap long divorce.

Now, dis husban o wif i no laik get divorce. Divorce i no komandim; i permitim. Na if divorce i go long sin seks bilong narapela man, i party i no sin i laik, Jesus i go long olsem, i laik marit narapela—long olsem marit i terminated. If eksespen klaus long verse 9 i go long met, i party i ofend i laik marit.

Nau, olsem long yumi stap nau, i gat planti question bilong yumi. For example:

Em i save man i no save divorce im woman i gat addiction—pornografi, gambling, samting olsem?

O nogat, sapos woman i go long narapela man long emosion?

Sapos porneia em i wodd bilong olsem, inap i apply long olsem samting?

Yu no wail yu, mi tok: olsem... na olsem no.

Yumi mas admit, ol man, dat long yumi, yumi gat het bilong kisin. Yumi i no save gut, na sin i pulum yumi long yumi tryim justify yumi laik long divorce. Olsem yumi no mas do dat. Yumi no mas expand lis bilong sin i go antap long dis wodd porneia.

Bagarap, ol fren bilong yumi long PCA, long study bilong ol, ol produce paper bilong olsem:

Sapos man i go long olsem aktiviti—addiction, habit, kontinu long behavor bilong no good—that olsem aktiviti i kamap long narapela long fulfillim right bilong spouse, olsem man i save break one flesh union.

Ol tok, judgment i mas rest long session—ol elder bilong yumi—in aplikim prinsip bilong Bible. Prinsip bilong guide i stap olsem: sapos sin i tru break one flesh relationship.

Alright, yumi stop long narapela taim. Mi tok dat marriage covenant i save break long tupela wei. Wan wei i porneia—Matyu 19:9 na Matyu 5:32. Narapela wei i stap long 1 Korintus 7.

Olsem, yumi turn long 1 Korintus 7. 1 Korintus em i leta bilong Apostel Paul. Lukim verse 1–9. Long ol verse, Paul i tok olsem Genesis 1 na 2 long gift bilong marriage na intimacy bilong one flesh union.

Then long verse 10–16, Paul i tok long tupela grup.

1. Tupela Kristen i Marit long Narapela (vv. 10–11)

Verse 10–11 i tok long ol man na ol woman Kristen:

“I tambu i givim dispela tok (no nogat mi, tasol Sava): Wan wuman i no ken separatinim em i go we fraim em i man…”

Dat wud separatin i go we i simply i go we i mekim i no differ from divorce.

Paul i say sapos i wuman i separatin, i mas remain unmarried o nogat i go we i kamapim marit i go we i man bilong en. Na i man i no ken divorce i wuman bilong en.

Notis Paul i no repeatim eksempsen klos Jesus i givim long Matthew 19:9. I no needim—i asumim. Tasol i addim samting nupela:

Sapos divorce i kamap long wanem reason narapela long porneia, i man na i wuman i mas remain single. Dat i penalty long sinful divorce. Remaining single i keepim open i posibilt long reconciliation—which i ideal.

2. Wan Marriage Mixim (vv. 12–16)

Long verse 12–16, Paul i addressim wan marriage we i wan spouse i Kristen na narapela i no.

I say sapos i spouse i no bilip i wail long i Kristen, i Kristen i no ken seekim divorce simply long i spos i no sharem i bilip. I fact, Paul i say God i ken usim i Kristen spouse long bringim covenantal grace long dat haus—and maybe even salvation.

Tasol lukim verse 15:

“Sapos i no bilip i go we, let him do so. I man Kristen o i wuman i no bound long dat circumstance. God i kolim yumi long livim long peace.”

Paul i teachim dat sapos i no Kristen spos i desertim yu, yu i no bound long stay long dat marriage. Yu ken divorce. Dat i legitimate divorce. Na long implication, yu i free long remarry, long i marriage bond i brokin.

So i desertion long i Kristen spouse long i no Kristen i second circumstance we i makim divorce i permissible. I divorce i no go we i sinful, even though sin i causim.

Na, wanpisin, taim divorce i laikim, i no mean se i right thing long long to do — o narin thing long long to do. God i ken healim olgeta relationship we i wail. Sampela taim, yumi forgiveness attitude, yumi selfless spirit, yumi commitment long good bilong narapela man i wail, em i bringim narapela man i kam long repentance.

But Wanem I Count long “Desertion”?

Olgeta long porneia, moa question i arise. “Desertion” i includim moa olsem physically leave haus?

Most evangelical thinkers i say yes.

Na, PCA paper i say desertion i ken occur “long imposition bilong intolerable conditions olsem long departure itself.”

But mi laikim yumi caution: no just anything yumi no laikim long yumi spouse i includim. PCA i say lista bilong sin tantamount long desertion “i no ken longwe.”

Sampela taim God i kolim yumi long stay long pain relationship. Peter i remindim yumi long 1 Peter 2 se Christ i suffer long yumi, i leaveim yumi example. Taim oli hurl insults long Hem, Hem i no retaliate. Taim Hem i suffer, Hem i no make threat. Hem i trustim Hem yet long Him we i judge justly. Sampela taim em i yumi calling long difficult marriage.

But olsem physical abuse, treachery, alkohol o drug abuse, cruelty, criminal activity, absenteeism, o narapela habitual behavior we i endanger yumi o yumi pikinini — ol i certainly a kain long desertion. Na even taim narapela spouse i claim long be Christian, taim em i engage habitual long olsem behavior, long sampela point em i act olsem non Christian, na yumi treatim olsem.

Key i wail yumi understandim, ol elder bilong church i mas be involve.

Bible i no speak long every possibility. I no mention pornography addiction long nem. Yumi mas take biblical principles, saturate ol long prayer, seek Lord’s guidance, na make best decision yumi ken.

Summary

So wanem yumi learn today?

– God i no institute divorce; Em i permitim, tolerate, regulate.

– Divos olsem sin i no save long long time, tasol divos yet no olsem sin.

– Divos i cutim kontrak bilong marit.

– Em i taim wanpela man i no moa wantim kontrak bilong marit long porneia o long givim asup, divos i laik.

– Long wea divos i laik, man i no salim i go we i laik marit gen.

Mi sikur ol yu i gat narapela question. Mi laik tok: yumi tok. I harim long tokim ol long wanpela sermon. Sapos yu laik go diwain long olsem, o sapos yu i go through olsem nau, yumi tok.

Yumi komuniti i lukim olsem isu. Yumi lukim yu, na yumi laik helpim marit bilong yumi long kirk. Olsem, mi laik givim narapela tok bilong applikasen – olsem takeaway.

Furst, remember wanem mi tok erlier long moning: ino gat wanpela marit long rùm i no save long divos. Yu mas knowm. Yu mas wokabaut long marit bilong yu long humbleness, save long yu vulnerable long ol kain sin.

Tasol sapos yu laik mekim marit bilong yu olsem divos proof, furst ting mi tok olsem: makim shua yu i followim Jisas. Makim shua yu belong long Krais na yu i komitim long strong, healthy, Bible bilipim kirk.

Yu probably i harim statistik olsem divos i common long kirk olsem long wol. Tasol i gat narapela storik. Better studies i shoum olsem long yumi tok long pipul i komitim long Jisas, i take faith bilong ol i serius, i involvim long na komitim long lokal kirk, divos rate i go daun. I gat reason bilong olsem: Holispirit i helpim yu – long faith long Krais, long gospel, na long yu i involvim long brata na susa – long overcome ol problem.

Sekon, sapos yu marit—or sapos wan dei yu go marit—lisin long dis ol tok: yu spos long Christ i stap nau long nambawan. Na sapos yu wantem mekem yu marit i strong olsem posible, yu mas wiling long investim.

Yu got long kisim nait long de. Ol man na ol woman, yu got long go we long narafala. Yu got long spendim taim long narafala. Yu nid long kisim banis long ronem yu relesin. Na yu nid long kisim avantrim long ol resurs—ol konfrens, ol buk—dat kan helpim yu long olsem betta man o wuman.

Trit, olsem, givim olsem God wan chans long mekem mirakel. Olsem. Mi bin lukim ol marit dat i no hope i turn ron long grais long God. Divos i stap long las resort. Bifo yu givim ap, yu do olsem ting yu kan. Aidentifaim ol ting dat i bringim yu long dis ples. Repentim strong long sin yu yet i mekim. Preya long narafala na askim God long givim yu spirit long forgiveness na healing grais. Forgivem olsem Lord i forgivem yu. Askim yu fren long preya na fas long yu. Go long profesional kaunselor.

Na wan moa ting: kisim ol elda i involvim. Sapos yu trouble long we yu stap long yu marit, kam tok long wan ol pastas. Let ol elda i shepherdim yu. Sapos divos i kam necesri—na ol yu i eksperiensim divos—den hia i wat yu nid long do: rest long lav long Christ. Rest long lav long Hem na move forward. Begin long rebuildim yu laif long Hem. Realizim dat yu liv long wan fallen wol dat somtaim ting i no get betta. Groan long heven. Groan long nupela erth, we ting i go get betta.

Rimembam bifo long dei mi tok dat God i divosim Israel. God Yet i eksperiensim dat. Bat hia wat Hem i tok long Hosea 2:

Defor long nau mi go long narafala stil; mi go long desert na tokim kind long hem… Mi go betrothim yu long mi olsem; mi go betrothim yu long righteousness na justice, long lav na compassion… Yu i mi pipel, na ol i go tok, "Yu i mi God."

Em i go we kam long Jesus — long stinim bilong em long krus — olsem ye na mi ken save divorce ino wud bilong las.

Yumi prai togeta:

Lod Jesus, tenkyu long yu save tijim yumi long divorce na marit na marit gen. Tenkyu long institusen bilong marit. Tenkyu, Papa, yu kretem marit long hapines na welfer bilong man.

Lod, yumi prai long narapela i here. Yumi admitim se none bilong yumi ino eksen. None bilong yumi ino got stretpela lek long stand. Ol bilong yumi sinas. Ol bilong yumi vulnerabel long fal.

Na i gat pipel long chuch bilong yumi i divorce na stil feelim pen bilong dat. I gat pikinini bilong divorce long chuch bilong yumi — pipel i grow up no got papa o mama, o long brukim haus.

Lod Jesus, tenkyu se yu ken putim pis bilong puzel bilong yumi bek togeta. Tenkyu se yu ken teke wunded marit na mekem i hol gen. Tenkyu se yu ken teke divorce pipel na mekem i wel, na helpim ol i findim long yu greis i go long ol strugel bilong yumi, ol sin bilong yumi, ol challenge bilong yumi.

Lod, yu be hausband bilong yumi tede. Yu be hausband bilong dis brait, chuch.

Yumi askim dis long nem bilong Jesus. Amen.

Rev. Mike Osborne i joinim staf bilong RTS Orlando long March, 2019, olsem new Dean bilong Studen. Em i servim olsem Direkt bilong Field Edikesen na Plasmen, asistim na mentim MDiv studen olsem ol i preparim long ful-taim gospel minisri. Na Mike i olsem i findim klasrum, tijim preachin lab na pastoral kunsilin klas.

Dis artikel i base long verbatim teks bilong sermon bilong Rev. Osborne. I editim lait long Copilot, na olsem ol staf bilong theology long Third Millennium Ministries.