Would you please take your Bibles and turn to Matthew chapter five? We have a chapel service in the morning for those who are working in our nurseries to attend. The staff takes my notes and preaches them and Chris preached this particular one at eight o'clock and said he was sure glad he didn't have to preach it to all of you. It's a difficult message about divorce and it's made even more difficult by the fact that I looked up and with horror this morning I found that my mother and my three sisters are all sitting here and my wife was on the other side of the aisle. Now I had intended to tell you what a wonderful man, son and brother I was and how my family all got along together but I can't do that now. Obviously there's been a falling out in the family. They're sitting on opposite sides and I can't brag on myself because I have not one but five witnesses to say not so. So we will talk about my life and marriage at all. We'll just look at what Jesus has to say about divorce and his desire not to make divorce easy for us but to make it harder. Jesus Christ is addressing in this section of the sermon on the Mount all of the distortions of the law, all of the misunderstandings about the Old Testament that had developed from the time that Moses wrote the law to the time that Jesus arrived on the scene. He is talking about what we would call the moralistic, the legalistic and the undermining influences of the rabbis. What was called in the Scriptures the traditions of the fathers that had somehow gutted the law from its spiritual intent. Sin Claire Ferguson makes the point that Jesus Christ is not correcting Moses. Moses is correct because Moses spoke from divine inspiration from Christ who gave him the law in the Old Testament so that Jesus Christ does not say repeatedly. You have read such and such but I say he's not talking about the written word of God but the spoken traditions of the fathers. You have heard it said such and such but I say he is correcting the great distortions of two great schools of rabbis. There were two great forces in early Judaism just as there's two great forces there are two great forces at work in the evangelical Christian community today. The right and the left, the conservative and the more liberal are progressive as they like to call themselves and these two great rabbis were Hillel on the left and Shemaah on the right. Hillel lived a century before Jesus Christ in fact we believe he died when Jesus was about five or six years old. Hillel the elder was his name he lived in Babylon and he took a very loose a very liberal view of the law. In this particular instance he taught that a man could divorce his wife for any reason if he found her displeasing at all. A man who followed him their lives overlapped was a man named Shemaah. He died the same year that Jesus Christ was crucified. These two men personally never met each other and they never lived together one lived in Babylon the other in Jerusalem but in the time of the apostles the son of Hillel became the president of the Sanhedron and the vice president of the Sanhedron was Gamalio so these two schools had to interact and they were in great tension in Jesus Christ denomination in his day. In fact it was the grandson of the great Hillel a man named Gamalio that we read about in the book of Acts who was the professor or the teacher of Paul the apostle. Paul would give his testimony that he was raised under the teacher Gamalio and the very strictest adherence to the law so these strict and liberal versions of the law of Moses were in conflict in the time of Jesus Christ. And quite frankly oftentimes they were both wrong in the way they interpreted the law and it is Jesus Christ duty and what he's purpose to do here to correct these traditions of the fathers. Turn if you will for example to Matthew chapter 15 for a moment and look where Jesus Christ confronts these false views these bad teachings of these rabbis from both schools of thought, Shemaah the conservative and Hillel the liberal. Matthew chapter 15 verse 1 then the Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders for they do not wash their hands when they eat. He answered them and why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? For God commanded honor your father and your mother and whoever reviles father or mother must surely die. But you say if anyone tells his father or mother what you would have gained from me is given to God indeed not honor his father. So for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God you hypocrites well did I say a prophesy of you when he said this people honors me with their lips but their heart is far from me in vain do they worship me teaching as doctrines the commandments of men. Vain do they worship me he says teaching as if it was the word of God the precepts and opinions and traditions of men this is what Jesus Christ is confronting and he's in a difficult position you can imagine the quandary he's in because regardless of what interpretation he takes on any of these issues anger lust divorce taking owes and vows revenge for your enemies forgiveness or not forgiveness he's going to offend one half of the house if he takes the liberal view of hell he'll side with the majority of people in his day but he will offend people who say you know this Jesus Christ is not serious about the law of God and he will do a great injustice to all the women and children in Israel if he takes hell's view of divorce but if he takes chamois view of divorce he will ingratiate himself to women and children but he will anger the men of Israel and all the leaders of the Sanhedron and the vast majority of people surrounding Israel so either way Jesus Christ goes he loses he faces the dilemma that every preacher faces changing the minds of people when popular teachers have already made up their mind it would be like me standing here today and saying you have heard that John Piper has said such or you have heard that Tim Keller has said such but I say they're both wrong and this is the you'd say how dare you contradict the two great rabbis of Presbyterian tradition you see we have the same tension by the way I like John Piper and Tim Keller I'm not I'm just using them as unfortunate illustrations but Jesus Christ steps right into the middle of it because he realizes that a proper application of God's law will help people enter the kingdom of God in fact he says in so many ways that very thing when he begins this exposition on the law turn back to Matthew 5 again and look how Jesus Christ introduces this section where he's going to correct what Hillel says or what Shammai says and teach what God means in the Old Testament Matthew chapter 5 verse 17 do not think that I've come to abolish the law of the prophets I haven't come to get rid of Moses I haven't come to eliminate the Old Testament I've not come to abolish them but to fulfill them or to make them full literally in the Greek for truly I say to you until heaven and earth pass away not a nigh oda not a dot will pass from the law until all is accomplished he's referencing here the little tick marks of commas and dashes and dots that the Hebrews put under their vows even the way they spell their words was inspired by God he said therefore whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven for I tell you unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees you will never enter the kingdom of God now here's what Jesus Christ does he takes six kind of illustrative misinterpretations of the Old Testament and he corrects them the first three having to do with anger that Chris spoke about two weeks ago and lust that Gabe spoke about last week and divorce he is correcting the liberal attitudes and teachings of the rabbi hellel and his school of thought the next three having to do with with oes and vows and with revenge and how you treat your enemies he's correcting the conservative and harsh view of chamois he divides the house three times he says hellel and his liberal view is wrong this is what God says and three times he says chamois in his conservative view of the law is wrong here's what God says he strikes the perfect balance in the middle that God always strikes when he deals with the misconceptions and misinterpretations of men and he comes now to his third opposition to the school of hell concerning divorce Matthew chapter 5 verse 31 and 32 it was said also whoever divorces his wife let him give her a certificate of divorce but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife except on the grounds of sexual immorality make sure committed adultery and whoever marries a divorce woman commits adultery you have heard it said the false teaching but I say the true teaching what is the false teaching that Jesus is dealing with concerning divorce you have heard it said or it was also said whoever divorces his wife let him give her a certificate of divorce now here was the two schools of thought chamois said that the only way a man could divorce his wife is if she was guilty of sexual immorality hellel said not so he can divorce his wife for any reason he wants as long as he gives her the proper certificate of divorce doesn't matter the grounds it's the procedure that matters what were these two great rabbis arguing over it well you'll find it in Deuteronomy chapter 24 be good if you turn there Deuteronomy chapter 24 where Moses actually kind of initiates a certification or a process to properly divorce your wife or husband in the Old Testament Deuteronomy chapter 24 God realized that the people who had grown up in Egypt had adopted Egyptian ways pagan ways and they were getting rid of their wives changing their wives like they changed dirty shirts and it was too convenient for them to do so so God said Moses we're going to come up with a process Deuteronomy 24 the first four verses one of man takes a wife and marries her if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house and she departs out of his house if she goes and becomes another man's wife and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house or if the latter man dies who took her to be his wife then her former husband who sent her away may not take her again to be his wife after she has been defiled for that is an abomination before the Lord you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you foreign inheritance now this was the passage that was in contention between Shammai and Halal they both focused on a different phrase in Deuteronomy 24 Shammai focused on the first phrase when a man takes a wife and marries her if he then finds she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some immorality literally in her Shammai says if she commits adultery if she has some lesbian affair if she's incestuous if she prostitutes herself you you get to get some it's got to be some violent violation of the sacred physical bonds of marriage then and then only can the husband divorce her Halal said oh no it's not that that is important it's the second phrase for if she finds no favor in his eyes in other words if he just becomes displeased with her Halal actually taught that the man could divorce his wife if she burned his toast in the morning if she talked too loud and it bothered the neighbors if she had grown fat after childbearing and he found another woman more attractive than her that's what he taught and guess which view was the popular view and that's what Jesus Christ is addressing it's he had to do it on more than one occasion turn if you will to Matthew 19 where Jesus Christ in detail confronts the same hillow of you of easy divorce for men and by the way no divorce allowed for women only men could write a certificate divorce now when a man takes a wife and marries her if she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her he writes her certificate divorce it says nothing about a woman being able to do this and so in Israel women could not divorce their husbands look at Matthew 19 verse 1 now when Jesus had finished these sayings he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan and large crowds followed him and he healed them there and the Pharisees came to him and tested him by asking is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause he answered have you not read that he you created them from the beginning made them male and female and said therefore man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast was wife and the two shall become one flesh so they are no longer two but one flesh what therefore gone has joined together let not man separate they said to him why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and send her away he said to them because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives but from the beginning it was not so and I say to you whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery Jesus is consistent in Matthew 5 and sermon on the mount and later in Matthew 19 at a time of confrontation a man cannot divorce his wife except for immorality adultery and any other grounds is not acceptable they said that Moses commanded us to do this Jesus said oh no pick your verbs carefully Moses did not command you he allowed you he permitted you to do something it is because of the hardness of your heart that you wanted to get rid of your wives and take another but from the beginning pointing to Genesis chapter 2 it has not been this way for a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh one indesolable spiritual eternal unit before Almighty God and the only thing that can break that is God when he sees that the covenant of marriage has been shattered primarily through adultery and that is not what they wanted to hear but that is what Hillel taught it all came down to the build divorcement you had to have the right formula and here's literally what you had the right I Michael Ross divorce my wife Jane for the following reasons and I grant her express permission to marry another man I release her from this marriage the word they used in the Greek for this certificate of divorce was a legal document releasing someone from the ownership of property I no longer consider my wife my own another man can have her all he had to do was write out that certificate presented to the rabbi have it signed by two of the elders of the synagogue and he was divorced and Jesus said no it's not that easy and I'm not going to make it that easy can you imagine the hardship this brought on women especially women that were aging that were disfigured that were barren that were worn out by bearing a dozen children and caring for them and all of a sudden one day there were no longer physically attractive to their Jewish husband who had a bit life crisis and Jesus Christ sees through these certificates of the divorce and these two schools of rabbinical thought into the hearts of people and he says you know I am no one's fool I know the mind games that you play and the mirror to cruelty that goes on behind closed doors I know how your husbands are unkind to your wives and non-responsive to their needs how you push them away emotionally and sometimes physically and financially until they become so desperate that they leave and go back to their father and then you run to the church and say I need a certificate of divorce I have legal rights it's desertion and I see how you wives become embittered against your husbands and let your appearance go to show that you don't care about them anymore they mean nothing to you because you pump your life solely into the children and you deny your husband his physical his marital his emotional needs until he finally out of desperation flees to the arms of another woman then you run to the church and say I need a certificate of divorce you see it's adultery and Jesus says no we're not going to play the Halele game anymore we're not going to make divorce easy because God wants to make it difficult God wants you to look at the spirit of the law concerning marriage therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast with wife and they shall become one flesh and what God has joined together let no man separate that is the spirit of marriage we're not worried about the letter of the law the letter of the law talks about irreconcilable differences emotional cruelty alienation of affections and all these legalistic word games we play to make it easy for a man or a woman to write their signature on a piece of paper that violates marriage shatters their children's lives wounds the church we can society all because they think they have a right to be happy I've got news for you loved ones marriage is less about your happiness than it is about your holiness and that is what Jesus Christ points to when he corrects the law you have heard it said by Halele that as long as you fill out the right kind of form it's a done deal but I say the true teaching of the word that everyone who divorces his wife except for the ground of sexual immorality and makes her commit adultery and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery himself Jesus Christ in this particular instance sides with Shamai he tightens up the requirements of marriage he realizes it's the hardness of our hearts that Moses confronted that makes us want to make things easy and he said no listen to what Moses was saying to you he gave you this process of divorce because God instructed him to do so and because intent God intended to make divorce more difficult but certainly not more easy I want to read to you what the actual Talmud said a Talmud is a book that gathers all the great teachings of the great rabbis it has different books within it like the Mishnah and this comes from the Mishnah of the great Talmud and it quotes these three great rabbis the two that lived in Jesus Christ age and the one that came right after him rabbi Shamai says a man should not divorce his wife unless he has found her guilty of some unseemly conduct and it says because he has found some unseemly thing in her but rabbi Halal says that he may divorce her even if she has merely spoiled his food since it says because he has found some unseemly thing in her and rabbi Aqaba says he may divorce her even if he finds another woman more beautiful than she is as it says if it comes to pass that she finds no favor in his eyes you see what these rabbis are doing they're taking the word of God and lifting phrases out of verses to say what they know the people want to hear rather than go for the intent of the law that God says Moses we need to tighten this procedure up or for crying out loud they'll all leave their wives and go off with pagan women because they look like they're more fun that's what's happening in America you are well aware that the divorce rate in the church of Jesus Christ both for Catholics and Protestants now is exactly the same rate same percentage of divorces as people who never attend church somewhere along the line rabbi Halal has gained the upper hand in the 21st century church and I think that Jesus Christ wants to shut that down there are two grounds for divorce and only two we've looked at one sexual infidelity sexual sins that violate the marriage that are practiced in such a repetitive manner that the trust and the intimacy and the bond of marriage is broken and the other is added by Paul desertion of the marriage by an unbelieving spouse or someone who has no intentions of returning that could be physical desertion or it could simply be on the neglect of responsibilities and the marriage that is tantamount to desertion but these are the two grounds one in Matthew 5 and 19 the other in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 one through Jesus Christ speaking for God his father the other through the apostle Paul speaking for Jesus Christ I need to tell you folks that it takes four people to make a marriage you man the woman his wife the church and the state and it takes those same four parties to dissolve a marriage the husband the wife the elders of the church and an officer of the court we cannot say I'm done and walk away and expect the blessings of God and we cannot simply run to a lawyer if we're Christians and ignore what the church has to say about our marital problems Jesus Christ is trying to teach us about the divine intent that God does not intend to make it easier for us to divorce but more difficult for us to divorce he intends to force us to remain in our marriages with another sinner to work at our relationship to perfect each other in grace and benefit from the sanctifying effects that marriage has on both men and women there is no such thing as no fault divorce no such thing whenever a marriage ends someone is to blame and usually several parties I want you to see something here today folks there is a progression of thought in what Jesus is saying go back to verse 21 look where Jesus starts with anger and contempt with anger and contempt and then with a refusal to reconcile a refusal to leave your offering at church and run and be reconciled to the person you're angry and you're cursing and then he moves from anger and contempt and irreconcilable non forgiveness to lust and fantasies and finally to divorce because that's how they begin a man or a woman interested in this fantasy that they're going to live happily ever after because they married the prince charming or you know Cinderella and all of a sudden it doesn't turn out that way and they're disappointed and frustrated and they're angry and they say ugly contemptuous things to each other again and again and again they fight until there is a breach of heart and they are irreconcilable they will not come and get help they will not ask each other for forgiveness and then the fantasy start the man has the wandering eye and every woman in the congregation looks better than his wife and the woman in her mind is saying where's that perfect fellow that my next door neighbor has and it's a short step through anger and contempt and unforgiveness and fantasies and lust to actually saying I'm gone I'm going to go find the partner that I deserve the reality is you got what you deserved Jesus Christ gave you a husband or a wife to help you grow and he hand picked that one for you through providential circumstances and caused you to fall in love and marry that girl or that boy because he or she was exactly what you need I don't think I could have picked a better woman to be married to than my Jane it's fire and ice together which kind of makes for lukewarm water and everything she is I'm the opposite she grew up on the Mississippi River eye on the Ohio she locks Robert E. Lee I like you Lizzie's ass grant I'm a buck I and she's a magnolia and you know what God knew exactly what we needed our marriage has not always been fun change been bad to me at times and at times I've been horrible to her but we have listened to what Jesus Christ has said let me paraphrase what he's after here in this passage he is saying marriage is less about your happiness than it is about your holiness I gave you a wife to purify your heart to focus your eyes to overcome your selfishness and to make you grow up and learn that lust is not the same thing as love she is not your doting mother she is the balance of your life and I gave you a husband to destroy your girlish and silly fantasies about Prince Charming to give you children to draw you out of yourself focused feminism to force you to work with a man to build a godly life and family and not to spoil and pamper you like your daddy did I am less interested in romance and great sex than I am in self giving love and godly character I gave you a wife and I gave you a husband to show you what the gospel can do for you remember that's what he's talking about that's the theme of this message the kingdom of God just like in the Beatitudes when the kingdom of God comes into all these broken lives a surprising work of joy and grace takes place when the kingdom of God comes into an angry soul as Chris mentioned a couple weeks ago all the sudden joy comes out of when the kingdom of God comes into a lustful mind all of a sudden that lust is turned to sacrificial love and service when the kingdom of God comes into two sinners married to each other they really learn what grace is about because nothing tests the gospel more than marriage there is nothing in life more difficult nothing more important and nothing more glorious when the gospel gets done with it than a sanctified lifelong marriage and that's what Jesus is talking about here he's telling this that there are certain parameters of life in certain cycles of nature that cannot be disrupted without consequences for everyone there's the sanctity of life that anger and contempt and violence will eventually destroy there's this dignity of mankind where the evils of racism and chauvinism and feminism and child abuse and corruption and disrespect for authority will ultimately be the the outcome of contempt if it's never curtailed there's the sanctity of our human dignity and sexuality that lust will destroy and there's the sanctity and permanence of a family of a man and a wife and the issue from their loins their children souls of last forever will be shaped in this world for God or scarred forever by the way mom and dad decide to work together and stay together one commentator said perhaps one of the hardest things for contemporary minds to accept is that life runs in natural cycles that cannot be disrupted without indelible damage to the individuals involved in the order of nature something simply can never be regained if they are lost divorce powerfully disrupts one of the major natural cycles of human existence and the individuals involved can never be the same whether or not a divorce was everything else considered justifiable Jesus is saying you ought to fight to the end of your life to save your marriage you ought not be looking for ways to get out of your marriage but for ways to let Jesus Christ into it because Christ can save it I know what I'm talking about I grew up in a household where my mother dear mother was the the daughter of an alcoholic and he left his family for the bottle and when I and my sisters are little children we prayed every night that my grandpa and grandma would get back together and when I was eight years old I watched my grandparents get married again I know the power of God to reconcile two people locked in brokenness and sin I've seen it and I know it can happen today when I was a general assembly I met with a dear friend we had lunch together and he told me that a year ago he went on vacation and that God stepped into his life and changed his marriage forever let me share with you what he told me before we close he said that before he went on vacation he went through his wife said would you listen to all the messages on the answering machine and clear them out before we go and he said for the first time in my life I heard the tone of voice and the words I used and the anchor that came through whenever I left my wife a message for 18 years I was angry with her and irritated with her because I thought I deserved a better wife so I went away on vacation to the mountains of North Carolina he said one night at midnight I woke up and I couldn't go back to sleep so I went out on the deck and he said I literally for two and a half hours walked in a circle and God spoke to me and he said Joe that's not his name look at this incident look what you did who sin is that and after I argued with Jesus for a while I had to say the sin is mine and then he said look at this instance look what you did here look what you said your wife here look at the children who were watching who sin was that and I had to say it's mine and he said Mike this went on for two and a half hours and at 230 I literally fell into a lump on the deck and sobbed the sin is all mine it's all mine and then God said to me not anymore and he said I felt like Christ had reached into my soul and I felt something coming out and the anger was gone and the next morning I got up early and got the little kids breakfast and I went in and woke up my wife who was sleeping in and I said sweetheart I need some time to talk to you I have something important to tell you and she said it's another woman isn't it he said no it's my sin he said I can fast to her and she forgave me and he said I have been now for one year and I have not been angry with my wife one time he said we got a long way to go we're getting help but God first saved my life and 30 years later he saved my marriage he took the anger in my soul and laid it on Jesus Christ and helped me you think God could do that for you I know that there are people sitting here today who are well beyond the anger contempt the irreconcilable differences stages they're ready to sign the certificate of divorce I'm here to tell you that the gospel can make a difference and Jesus Christ will save your marriage if you lay your sins on him that's what this table reminds us of he who knew no sin became sin on our behalf that we might become the righteousness of God in him the first time I preached to you on 1st Sunday of April in 2006 I preached out of Ezekiel in the story of the dry bones that had been revived and I stood in this very place and said that I believe that we live in an age of fear and despair and that we have quit trying and I told you that I believe that God could save your souls give you back your children and redeem your marriages and I believe that's true because the one who protects our marriage is Jesus Christ and if you saved your damn soul he can save your troubled marriage if you do the same thing you once did if you repent of your sins take ownership of what you've done don't worry about her or him wrestle with him until you say Jesus the sin is mine and then hear him say not anymore as far as the east is from the west so far have I removed their transgressions from them and the hero of it all will save your family if you let him let's pray father we all struggle with this we're either struggling because we're not married and we're afraid to be married we're struggling because we're married and we'd rather not be married we're struggling in a second or third marriage when we find the same sin patterns of the first broken marriage repeating themselves again and it's obvious that the sin is ours and that is why we have the gospel why we have this table of the Lord why we have Christ so that our sins might become his he might take them on himself and pay for them which he already has at Calvary and put in us the renewing grace and life of the Holy Spirit to save our souls and our children and our marriages and families to renew and revive our churches and even our country we're looking for you to do that today and I'm asking you father to move in the hearts of men and women in this congregation as we take the Lord's supper to go this day and sit down with their spouse with whom they have great conflict take ownership of their wrongdoing ask for the forgiveness of other and together renew their marriage vows committing themselves to Jesus Christ and we're looking for him to do marvelous things and we we pray now as we go to the table that you would strengthen us with the grace of communion to do just that and we thank you that you not only love us as individuals but as couples and families and you want to save us all we give you praise for that and now we come before you at your table to receive help for our marriages in Jesus name amen