Well, good afternoon. My name is Hugh Barlett. I'm senior pastor over at Chesterfield Presbyterian Church, and that's the church where Mark Davis is the youth pastor. Mark's out of town this week up until two o'clock, a little after two o'clock today. He made sure up for the second lecture, and we'll have an opportunity to maybe do an interaction between Mark and myself. I've been at Chesterfield about nine years, and Chesterfield is a church that has been through a church renewal, and
been a lot of changes, and one of the great changes that's happened is the development of a youth ministry. So Mark asked me to come today to this class that he's doing and to talk with you and interact with you about what it's like to be a youth pastor, a youth worker, a youth director, in relationship to the senior pastor, or in relationship to an associate pastor, or an executive pastor, or elders, deacons. In other words, how does a youth pastor relate to the church that they work for, work with, and that's really the issue we'll look at. It's a vast topic, and in one sense it's as simple as relationships, but that's makes it as complicated as relationships as well. So maybe maybe the place for us to start is in a word of prayer, and then the opportunity to look at God's word. Let's pray together. A heavenly Father, we thank you for this time. We ask that you would lead us and guide us as we explore what it means to be part of a team ministry. Lord, I ask that you would enable me to convey your wisdom, your insight from your word, and how the church should function together. As we reach this next generation, Lord, I pray that we would be a group that is passionate and faithful to you and to one another. We pray this in Christ's name. Amen. Probably the first passage I want to encourage you with is Matthew 9. If you want to turn there, if you have a Bible, if you don't, I'll read it to you. Matthew 9, and this is not distinctly a youth ministry passage, but it's distinctly a kingdom mission, kingdom impact passage in the scripture. And I want to say what Mark has probably already said many times, that this moment in American church history is a huge opportunity for us in reaching the next generation. In one sense, every decade, every generation has that opportunity to reach the next generation, but you know and I, the statistics show that there are more nine-year-olds and 19-year-olds today in America than ever before in American history. There is a huge mission field. I was reflecting on that even this week as I was reading this passage in verse 35 of Matthew 9. It says, Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom, healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, the harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. The church of Jesus Christ is praying for God to send out people, servants, pastors, and evangelists, youth pastors to reach the next generation. And I think you would all agree that the harvest is plentiful. There is a huge opportunity out there for the next generation, or what many are calling generation next, huge opportunity. It's also a huge challenge because this generation not only is numerous, but it's needy. It seems to be a number of unique factors that have come together that have made this generational opportunity truly significant, but overwhelmingly challenged. But that's not different than what happened here. If you look at this passage in verse 36, it says that Jesus had compassion on people who were harassed and helpless. So wanted us to think together for a moment. I want you to think with me, how is this next generation of 12-year-olds, 14-year-olds, 18-year-olds? How is this next generation, or generation next, harassed and helpless? How have they been affected by the culture in which they've grown up and by the choices they've made? How are they harassed and helpless? How can we have the compassion of Christ? What are the evidences of that helplessness, of that harassment? Yes. That's the greatest pressure for upward mobility. Yeah, there's a success ethic, isn't there? A success ethic, achieve, receive the benefits of moving upward in society. Good, there's a pressure. Been a part of other generations, but it's really there today, isn't it? Good. Other ways that this generation, this generation of youth, are being harassed. They're kind of helpless or other ones that reflect through divorce, growing up in families that are kind of non-existent. Divorce in broken families, clearly the statistics show that this is the era in which one book puts it, we don't ask students anymore, what does your father do? We ask them, does your father live with you? That's the question, difference generation to generation. Does your father live with you? Broken families are almost a norm, a reality norm for us in our culture, so really harassed in the broken family. What other things? Excellent. Absolutely. You have a media culture and a cyber culture that's coming in to challenge. TV has been there in generation or two, but now we have another fast at the internet, another features coming right to the privacy, not in the living room, sometimes in the bedrooms or even in the laptops of students, they're getting information and exposed to things that previous generations couldn't see or even dream of. So you're saying individualism in a private sense has isolated students from one another. So we see that individualism, which has always been a part of American culture, but going further, definitely distancing. As we think about what the kingdom value of loving God and loving one another is, how different that is from the world in which students grow up today. They are more and more distant from others by the virtue of their lives. Other things that you might consider harassed and helpless. Yeah, there used to be in the 60s, that movement toward the youth culture pushing away from the establishment. Now that's just an exception. I mean, that's just a given and the youth culture is just a given. There's an isolation and an independence, perhaps from from parental to child. That's interesting. Yeah, a cut off from any kind of positive tradition, cut off from a moral tradition, let alone a biblical tradition and knowledge. Yeah, that's significant. Adults have been, perhaps busy too busy, too much pursuing their own agendas and their kids have been left to raise themselves. That independence is not only their choice, but the cultural norm. We can see that Matthew 9 is really laying out for us a kingdom opportunity. Jesus ministered to people who were harassed and helpless. Then it was the oppression of the Romans. It was the oppression of a legalistic system that had grown up around the goodness of God's law and in replace God's law. Jesus saw these people harassed and helpless and saw the gospel as being the free relationship. That's what's exciting for me as a pastor in the church. As I look out and see you as potential youth workers in the church, youth pastors, directors. What excites me is that we share the same, we share the same commitment to see the gospel change lives. Jesus preaches the gospel and lives are set free and that's that's your calling. And here's where as we talk today, one of the real challenges you have is that you have this huge this huge opportunity and what you're going to find in the midst of it is in the midst of this huge opportunity, you're going to find sometimes working within the church can be a frustrating reality. Now I really wanted to begin with the positive here but one of the reasons that I was asked to speak here today is that there is an over time in the life of churches, a classic love hate relationship between senior pastors and youth pastors. I hope that you never experience this and not every church does and for those that don't and that's wonderful. God's blessing and that's the way God intended but in every ministry opportunity it's amazing how often I receive or mark receives or others will receive calls from people we know out there in churches across the United States saying I'm really frustrated about how I'm working in this church. Many youth workers for instance start by working in the parachurch perhaps some of you have that background they've worked with young life or campus life or youth for Christ or fellowship for Christian athletes they later maybe go to seminarians start working in the youth ministry in a church and they're like it's just so different I feel so much less freedom I see I feel so much more pressure I have so many more people asking and evaluating my work not just students but parents and and leaders and there are other groups who will who struggle because they'll find that pastors and their elders and deacons are uninvolved or maybe disinterested in the work they do in other words they feel like they're all alone taking care of the kids but nobody really takes them seriously as part of the ministry team so those are the challenges what I want to talk today is not so much about blame or about causes of that I want to look at a little bit of how you can be prepared to be effective in going into a church how you can be a part of a church serving as a member of a team ministry recognizing how people may see you misperceptions they may have about you as a youth worker and then how you can begin to understand and interact and serve effectively in those kinds of contexts and I'm going to give you five words and I'm going to write them out right away here because I just want to be able to convey these five words to the all begin with C and I hope that's not too cute but in some ways I just want to give you these five words are key words for you to be able to interact with future senior pastors associate or executive pastors elders deacons leaders of the church and the first word and I'm sure Mark has talked about this but it's the word calling we're going to we're going to touch on this word calling this word is critical not only for your motivation but for your effectiveness in a team calling the second word we're going to be looking at is character again this is not a surprising phrase for us but the way you are personally growing into the likeness of Christ is absolutely essential in how you will interact as a follower of Christ but as a servant in a team and that's really what I think you want to think about in terms of the ministry you're serving as part of a team also want to mention this word connection connection is your relationships well talk very practically about how you relate to the various people the sphere and relationships around the youth ministry and whatever church you're involved with the third or fourth word excuse me the fourth word is communication you are very much going to need to communicate this comes out of a relationship that you have with various people but you're going to have to be wise and the way you communicate to leaders about who you are and what you intend to do the way you're going to communicate to students and parents you have to think very carefully about how to communicate that and convey the message of the gospel which is unchanging and the ministry that you'll have which will be very changing final thought final word is going to be commitment commitment you'll hear me come back to this phrase when pastors and churches look for youth ministers youth pastors and workers they think of the word dynamic they want dynamic youth workers but once you're hired the word they'll want to use describe you is dependable and the challenge for youth workers is how to be dynamic and dependable not either or you need to be dynamic to meeting a changing youth culture with all the gifts and passions you have you need to be dynamic and you need to seek and pray about what got but to recognize that dynamic nature of your personality and your calling and your passion and your ministry philosophy and the programs and events you involve yourself in has to be met by some dependability and while the student culture world may not value that as much the adult world of pastoral staff and board meetings and value that maybe too much sometimes but they definitely think about it and that's probably one of the most significant challenges dynamic and dependability how those mix together it's not an either or it's a both hand and they go together that's one of the main focuses of our time together these five words calling character connection communication and commitment these are five key key not only words but key relationships and realities that you'll have to focus on let me just say one more thing about about what we're looking at today just introduces to the whole topic first Corinthians 9 says this first Corinthians 9 verses 19 to 23 and I share this verse with you because we've already talked about your mission field your mission field is to reach harass and helpless students from the next generation which is a whole number people your heart is to be bonded to the gospel which is unchanging but notice what Paul says in first Corinthians 9 19 he says though I am free and belong to no man I make myself a slave to everyone to win as many as possible to the Jews I become like a Jew to win the Jews to those under the law I become like one under the law though my myself am not under the law so as to win those under the law to those not having the law I become like one not having the law though I am not free from God's law but I'm under Christ's law so as to win those not having the law to the week I become weak to win the week I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some I do all this for the sake of the gospel that I may share in its blessings what a wonderful passage that speaks about the reality that the gospel is the center of Paul's commitment to the mission do you see what he said in this passage he said the gospel is the reason I do this and I want others I want as many people as possible to come into a saving relationship with the gospel that's why I'm poor my whole life but while the gospel is unchanging his means and methodologies are changing constantly he becomes a Jew to the Jew he becomes a weak person to a weak person he becomes though it was not person not under the law to a person who's not under the law he's willing to adapt his methods his communication styles without changing the gospel in order to reach youth ministries has always understood this and I want to suggest that one of the reasons why church renewal and vitalization has come out of youth movements in our country in the last century is that very very issue youth ministers youth workers understand that when they stand before an audience of kids if they're not connecting if they're not becoming and sharing a communication style or sharing a bit of perspective in life they'll never be able to bring the unchanging gospel to that person they're adapting the way they stress the way they look the way they act the way they speak the way they talk with the persons they're interacting with so here's the challenge the reason I bring this up you have an unchanging gospel you have an overwhelmingly fast-paced changing culture that student ministry people are adapting to not compromising with but adapting to in order to communicate this unchanging gospel here here's where it gets difficult we've got a slow changing church culture now that's just a reality I'm not going to take time to defend that or criticize it it's generally been that way and much of that is good we don't want the church to reinvent itself every week or every month like the media does or the way various things the church culture should should not seek to adapt the self that fast but the reality is the church culture made up of adults those very oldest seniors to those just born today that culture is a slow changing culture even in the most progressive churches church culture is a slower changing culture the culture in which you're a student ministry fast changing and now even more so fast changing so you're revving it up in terms of adaptability at an incredibly high pace in these days churches moving at a certain pace the gospel is not going to change and we're thankful for that but the reality is when you try to interface that slow church culture with your fast-paced methodology there's going to be friction there's going to be misunderstanding and that's what we really want to focus on and that's why I've had these five it's in that context that senior pastors and youth pastors it's in that context that associate pastors boards of deacons and boards of elders get frustrated youth pastors get frustrated and angry with them because the youth pastors out there in the midst of this fast-paced world trying to make connection to kids who are going away from the gospel at light light your pace where parents and many others are afraid and sometimes rightfully sell about the fact that their distance and are not moving as fast and they themselves may not be called to how do you bridge that gap fast-paced culture slower-paced church culture how do you build that bridge to serve as a team member now I'm making a presupposition here I'm going to say this up front I really believe that that bridge can be built I don't think that the parent church is the best model God has used the parent church mildly we're thankful to the Lord for the way he's done that in this last generation but I look forward to this next generation of youth ministry flowing in and through the church of Jesus Christ I'm excited about the possibilities of youth ministers youth pastors youth directors being a part of a team ministry concept that involves families old and young brothers and sisters and the rest but that's going to take some skill and some some thought that's what we want to do today to think through that so how do we do that calling the first thing that I wanted you to think through with me is calling that indeed one of the things that's going to put people at ease around you is a sense that you are not an autonomous individual but rather someone who's called by God parents and pastors alike are putting in your hands for many hours a week their precious children now their children are 16 and are moving out of their household but what a parent looks at that child they still see that child that they saw come into this world that they changed their diapers and they taught them to to eat and they see these sweet little children 16 as they may be and they realize what precious cargo you're transporting off to a camp or taking off to some paintball opportunity or going off to some kind of activity or mission project and they want to know they want to know that this is more than just your endeavor the one of the best and most important things that you can do in relationships to pastors and parents is to clearly communicate but first discern your calling your calling as a youth pastor youth worker director as Guinness I want to recommend a book as Guinness has written a book called the call I don't know if you're familiar with it it's a book that you probably have seen around recently excellent book that speaks of the fact that God is calling each an individual person to recognize God's divine spiritual calling in their life one of the things he talks about is a discovery that your life as a youth pastor has not really lived to please your senior pastor to please a board of elders to please a parent or to please a student that ultimately you have to please an audience of one that's the phrase that I as Guinness uses an audience of one our God the reason I start with calling today is that a lot of what we're going to talk about in terms of relationships in terms of communication in terms of various skills of getting along with team ministry can be so much manipulation unless it flows out of your own heartfelt commitment to the Lord and his gospel that you're called to do something that is so important and significant because God is calling you to it that you're not doing this thing out of some political kind of maneuvering or some kind of agenda making where you're looking to win points with certain people so you can get ahead that's not it at all it's you've been called by God to accomplish a significant ministry and mission and whatever church you're a part of it's going to take some skill though for you to accomplish that it's going to take some wisdom and some courage to accomplish it in the lives of adults and students the number one thing you're going to need more anything is the ability to know that God has called you to that place to that mission feel what will sustain you when everyone else questions that program that plan that curriculum that way you teach the way you pray the way you they're going to be all kinds of questions that you'll have even avoid yourself the ministry the call that God has for you that sends you out just as Christ sent us in this world will give us a conviction and courage in the midst of in the midst of all that you'll face this is something I know that you'll be talking about more in this class so I'm not going to take too much more time with it but your sense of call then will give you courage at some key times and let me give you a couple key times when you go to interview for a church when you go to consider this church or that church when you have a conviction of call you will be able to ask questions that are difficult of the people that will hire you or call you to that church for instance when you meet a senior pastor and you have an opportunity after the small talk is over and after you're talking you've seen the job description written out what you need to do is ask that question the question that gets at the heart of the ministry if I take this job this role in this church will I be able and be free to do youth ministry or will I have to do youth ministry and a whole host of other things now that's not wrong don't get me wrong and associate assist the ministry that has a little bit of youth ministry and children's ministry as well and then some small group ministries and some leading worship on Sunday and doing all kinds of things that's wonderful if that's what God has called you to for many of you though God is going to be calling you to a very specific commitment to reach the next generation and that's going to take a full-time commitment to do that in a little while I'm going to talk about the fact I'm going to talk about the fact that you're part of a team and that you're going to do more than just youth ministry family ministry you're going to serve with the rest of the the group of staff that you're with that's what but your primary call the reason you're there the role in which you're playing the position you need to play is to reach the students of this church and their families and to make an impact on their families it's so important for you to have the folks that call if that indeed is your call now again that's something you have to discern but you'll need to be able to have that sense of call so that you're able to recognize it one of the biggest frustrations that youth pastors have with senior pastors is that we call you to do a dynamic youth ministry but then we utilize you to do everything else that needs doing on the side that churches and again I'm a senior pastor and it's easy for me when I need someone to do a vacation Bible school sketch or to do some custodial work or to make sure we run some administrative projects or to call on this person or to pick up some slack in this other ministry it's easy for me to go reach for a paid faithful diligent godly leader like you like you and so pastors and churches are in while churches are slow paced changed agents there's always a crisis going on churches and so churches oftentimes do crisis management they grab the most available people put them right there at the biggest and most urgent crisis you're gonna need to strengthen courage to at the beginning of your relationship with a church to help them to see that you're called to something that's really really important it's not something that you get too later but it's something you want to invest in for eternity doesn't mean that you have boundaries and barriers to other service but you have a focus you have a primary goal in that sense very important for you second thing this call does for you you're you're thinking of calling is it gives a sense of stability to your mission field one of the biggest problems I believe in churches today is when church youth pastors are viewed as and even project themselves as stepping stones in other words you're going into the youth ministry as a stepping stone but when you get a little older you'll go into the real ministry you're familiar with that you know in other words you're gonna get some training some experience but then you'll go into the real ministry well that's insulting in a lot of ways to youth ministry youth ministry is real ministry but also it's a missing of your calling if god is calling you to be youth ministry now I'm not suggesting that you need to know today whether you're gonna be being a youth minister until you're 70 but if you know that today you're called to be youth ministry do not speak to that congregation or to that church about the fact that I'll do this for a few years and then I'll move on to something else that kind of phrasing that kind of phrasing conveys to your mission field conveys to your parents and to your pastor that what you're doing is somewhat important but not ultimately important your sense of call gives a passion and a permanence to what you're doing and so it tends to drive the priorities and the importance of your job and so in other words your calling says to people around to you this is this is important stuff this is God's stuff reaching the next generation just to close that idea is to think about this one of the great things about our Presbyterian and Reformed Heritage is the fact that we believe in covenantal blessing we believe that God connects families but even more than connecting families we believe that the gospel projected self over generation acts to 39 says that the promise given to us is for us and our children what a wonderful phrase that is and it's not just an inclusive church family it's saying those who are near and far off in that passage those who are outside our church family they will become part of our church family through the ministry of the gospel you and I have the privilege of recognizing that God's promise God's promise is offered to this generation and the next and you are a key bridge in bringing that about so you're calling you're calling is central to that to that seriously that's a part of who you are in your identity that will give you stability in these relational issues okay let's look at second issue second issue that is oftentimes but let me have one more thing one more maybe a third thing not only are you going to have the courage to ask questions when you're interviewing to see the focus and the freedom you'll have not only will you have to convey the importance of it by not looking at stepping stone but calling will also bolster your encouragement in other words there are going to be times where as a youth pastor you are overlooked I remember time in our church when early on in having a youth pastor we had an associate pastor we had a senior pastor an youth pastor and in one of the gatherings somebody referred to our staff and then just mentioned senior pastor an associate pastor and then mentioned the youth pastor kind of an separate category you're going to be overlooked at times by people they're going to see your job again is just with the kids calling helps you to remember that while other people may overlook your importance God doesn't God sees and knows your importance in the kingdom of God secondly under that same category youth pastors are over evaluated if they're overlooked the opposite is true as well they're over evaluated all pastoral ministry comes with that evaluation each message that preached on Sunday they say yes no to some extent but youth pastors have a scrutiny week after week gain crowd breaker after crowd breaker student after student you will be criticized in youth ministry it's just part of the good youth ministry has a fair amount of criticism in it's part of life calling a central where you're not buffeted by that all the time it doesn't bother you it hurts but you're able to keep going many many youth workers just like pastors become demoralized by people's constant questioning quad constant over evaluation calling set you free from that even in relationship to those you work with it provides a solid foundation of grace and identity so calling that's that spend a lot of time on it it's just really that important character character such an important thing first Timothy kind of puts it this way and we even have the word youth in here I don't think Timothy was actually 25 years old probably when this passage is written but first Timothy 412 don't let anyone look down on you because you're young this is this is Paul and first Timothy 412 writing to Timothy his disciple also pastoral leader in the church but he was youthful enough in a culture that appreciated elders and age he says don't let anyone look down on you because you are young I think youth ministers are susceptible I started writing down some misperceptions there are some misperceptions that people may have about you as a youth worker and now this may not be true for everyone they're going to be generations here but many times senior pastors and people in the pew will have these kind of perceptions one the youth pastors are just immature that they've never grown up they're just big kids who like to play games and so they're getting to live their their youth again through they're being a youth worker again these are not necessarily fair perceptions but they're misperceptions that people have I mean you're out there playing volleyball when I'm inside working on a servant I'm studying Greek and you're out there just goofing around sometimes senior pastors will have that kind of feel it's it's a misperception but it's a perception that that happens again some some will have the perception that you're not quite smart enough for adult ministry I had I had somebody come up to me in our church after one of our youth pastors preached on a Sunday morning the first time this youth worker preached in our church and the guy came up to me and said wow I can't believe it this youth guy can really teach and the implication was he was just very surprised not only was the youth pastor a good preacher but it was even more amazing because he was a youth pastor wow he really could he could communicate to adults and I challenged them with this reality that I said it's far easier to hold the attention of a 28 year old 40 year old than it is a 15 year old the folks that teach our youth ministries are far more compelling speakers than our senior staff because they have to be that fast changing culture demands tremendous communication ability tremendous but that's not always understood so sometimes you'll be thought of this shallower less mature not as smart and perhaps the third thing then is that you're just passing through people will ask this is youth pastor when you're getting a church of your own again this is this is a looking down upon your youthfulness or in this case your youth pastorship youth ministry sometimes it's a temperament thing perhaps the fourth issue that misperception that is very common is that youth pastors are dynamic but chaotic they're disorganized and again some of these generations generalizations come true and that's true with senior pastors as well as youth pastors but they're disorganized they don't have a good time but they can't organize or develop and along with that comes with sort of that other thing they're not serious enough they're not serious enough these are misperceptions they can or can be true but they're not generally true of any one person or of youth ministry now here's where first Timothy four is so important how does Paul tell Timothy to overcome people's misperceptions and his youthfulness first Timothy four it says don't let anyone look down on you because you're young tell him that you have more experience than they do now it doesn't say that tell him that you really know the Bible better than they do tell him that you're called to this group of people and they don't understand now notice what says says don't let anyone look down on you because you're young it's simple for the church to to under appreciate youth ministry and youth ministers but the way we counteract that is my godly character it says but set an example for the believers in speech in life in love in faith and in purity set an example for the believers in speech in life in love in faith and in purity what a great call in other words your character by the way this is the same thing that I would say to pastors and servants in the church how is it that you cover the weaknesses of your areas and your limits of your own personal gifts and style every one of us has limits to our personal gifts and style in other words we relate better to some people we have certain gifts that are more developed than others we have certain gifts than given to us by god how is it that we you know we don't have the gift of administration how is it when we don't have certain buildings well it's character it's character that allows the body of Christ to say yep he or she's not that good at this but it's okay they're godly people see if your people believe that you're called by god and that you're a godly person all the other things I'm going to say in the next three C's won't matter if you're called by god and they sense that conviction and then you have a godly character that tells them that you're growing in Christ they'll have confidence that no matter what they bring to you or no matter what challenges the ministry brings to you it's going to work out because you'll be able to respond and they'll be able to interact and together god will work it together it's when our character is insufficiently develops that sets up all kinds of barriers to relationships to strengthen ministry in other words our own lack of ability in our speech in our conduct in our security in ourselves and the Lord leads us to be defensive leads us to be offensive in all kinds of ways character again is such a large piece of the puzzle I want to challenge you that very few people will challenge you to grow in your character very few staffs or ministries will say okay how you doing spiritually are you growing in your likeness of Christ are you leaning upon the Lord's Word and his spirit in a personal way many churches will say simply are more people coming kids liking it what are you studying and what do you teach and they'll evaluate you on those external things and it's good to ask about those things but what's going to really maintain the ministry for you your credibility in the midst of a church is going to be godly character godly character it's true for senior pastors it's really true for you pastors because of those misperceptions now some of the realities some of the realities are different because you do have different callings but you need to convey to people that you're a man of god a woman of god a person who's following Christ's heart and living in that reality that makes sense calling character any questions about those two pretty general something you've probably thought about a little bit I just want to convey those just really very significantly to you now we shift gears to this idea of connection connection the passage I think of here is Philippians 2 Philippians 2 verses 20 to 21 Philippians 2 20 to 21 Paul is speaking again to Timothy well he's speaking about Timothy this is one of my favorite passages about team ministry now we're moving into the relational sphere calling and character our reflection of god's work in our lives and our hearts expressed it as growing into Christ's likeness now we're focusing on now the relational dynamic of what it means to be part of a team Paul here in Philippians 2 begins in verse 20 by saying I have no one else like him like Timothy who takes a genuine interest in your welfare for everyone looks out for his own interests not those of Jesus Christ but you know that Timothy has proved himself because as a son with his father he has served with me you see that phrase they're so significant he has served with me in the work of the gospel Paul and Timothy had a very special special relationship father son relationship in all his best dynamics Paul felt like Timothy was a guy who could work hand in glove I don't know if you've ever had that experience working with someone where you just work with them and they anticipated what you needed and you anticipated what they needed and it was just wonderful working side by side with them there's really nothing like it in the corporate world today they talk about that phrase synergy it's when one two people come together or perhaps more than two and the combined impact of your work with my work our work together is more than just one plus one two plus one it's multiply synergy I see that same thing with Paul and Timothy here he's saying you know I have lots of people who do things but a lot of them are difficult to work with why are they hard to work with according to this passage flippings too because their lives are focused upon themselves you see the difference Timothy is the one who's not looking out for his own interests now here's the subtle here's the subtle difference between what I'm about to say to you I believe that you need to stay as focused as you can upon the calling that God has for you as a unique member of Christ body you need to love the mission field that God calls you to but at the same time you need to be radically unselfish in your connection to the church so that when you're interacting with a senior pastor associate pastor board of elders board of deacons church administrator financial officer secretary parents and student leaders even they have a sense that it's not about your ministry but about Christ's kingdom and that's a that's an amazingly profound difference it's so subtle you need to be the one who fights for the resources and the relationships for the church to go toward youth ministry but at the same time to not do it selfishly or self-centeredly being able to connect to the staff of your church on a personal level is one of the most exciting and important dynamics of team ministry Paul said I can send Timothy into any situation why because I know he's not going to look out for his interests he's going to think of Christ's interests and the interests of the team and the kingdom first and so I'm trusting completely and fully that kind of relationship is what I'm talking about a connection it's the relationship that you can have and I'm going to start with the different relationships you do have we got we can make a long list I wrote down in terms of key relationships the phrase I want you to use is people who will be on your team or on your back you prefer the first these are the people you want on your team rather than on your back and it's sadly one or the other generally they're either with you or they're going to be against you and in this connection this relationship is critical first one I put is a senior pastor second one is associate pastor third one is elders now I'm doing this in them in many ways according to PCA the president of church in America church government a board of elders that does it mostly a spiritual and content oversight deaconate board of deacons is the next one the service and mercy organizational side of church life I added an administrative role so you have senior pastor associate pastor elders deacons administration that could be a church financial officer could be the church secretary or office manager I'm going to leave parents I'll put parents down for you to think about I'm assuming Mark will cover a lot about that in this class that's that's a whole topic in itself isn't it for how youth pastors relate to families and parents that is a group though that you need to connect with again probably deserves more than one lecture and then finally I put down student leaders or student leader staff and that could be a lot of things in our community it's sometimes a seminary in terms but it could be college students are in the area who help with youth ministry could be parents who help with youth ministry could be actually high school students there are there's a relational connection that you need to have with them so I wanted us to think a little bit about those different spheres and relationships for senior pastor what can you do what can you do to connect with your senior pastor this really depends so much on who your senior pastor is and that in this sense as you interview with various churches one of the things that I encourage you is to get to know the senior pastor just the same way you would seek to enter the world of a student when you go to their high school or seek to enter the world of your senior pastor and ask the question how depending on the church size and the personality of the senior pastor his age temperament background he's going to welcome you into his life or give you a portion of his life he's going to he's going to be very formal or very informal there's just as many different senior pastors as there are that's how many different relationships they're going to be but I think it's really important for you to realize that you're going to have to be a part of be a part of entering his world to some extent a good senior pastor and if I was speaking today to senior pastors I would challenge them to enter the world of their youth pastor one of the things I love about what Paul talks to Timothy about in Philippians 2 is that he knew Timothy's heart why because they'd served with each other I think if there are ways in your times together to serve with other team members maybe in totally different contexts if you can serve one another and serve with each other whether it's for instance a youth pastor that has been a part of our church and I took a mission trip together not really related to youth ministry or my general responsibilities we early on his time there went to Mexico and did physical labor we had lots of laughs we had lots of serious ministry opportunities lots of time together in a different environment that's the kind of thing that I think really can help bond and build relationships not all senior pastors are going to to want or desire that or let me say at this way have the time for that that's okay that's okay the principal I'm trying to convey here is you need to in a loving a persistent way seek to enter his world and understand what the senior pastor really values listen to his heart for vision for his church that he served at has he been in a short term a long term has he has he been concerned about the fact that things have been tumultuous or is he riding the wave of a wonderful renewal in a church he need to know his heart because that will tell you a lot about the security has and the freedom you'll have to minister you've got to enter that world some of these pastors will think I can't ever relate to someone who's 10 20 years old he's just my boss don't make them a mistake you need to try to build that relationship if it has to be merely a formal relationship which doesn't go beyond an office meeting each week or that kind that's all right utilize that time and find out what is the way your senior pastor receives information and input and encouragement does he like written reports then try to write right does he like talking about other things going on does he like something to listen to him about his ministry many times you may be surprised how lonely other pastoral staff members are in the midst of their ministries the same way you may feel they may feel very underappreciated and so as a result by building that relationship you can make a world of difference and that connection you make is critical critical to the way the way your relationship forms so that's that's a it's based on a little vague to you but I want to encourage you to think about his work language that's a parallel to what I would call love languages and families what is your senior pastors love language what does he appreciate do you like going out to eat go out to eat with him hang out with him that's something that that I really love to do with the youth pastor at our church those are the kinds of things that again finding that out and and using utilizing that and developing it so that a vital connection let me just quickly wrap up with the other relationships associate pastor you're in a larger church let's say larger bigger than three four hundred people and you have maybe not only a senior pastor but associate pastor along you come as a youth pastor the moment you arrive at that church the youth pastor will unpack your luggage embrace you they are so thankful that you're here to take off that youth ministry responsibility from them they're delighted because they've been juggling that ball probably they've been doing it and parents and say it's not good enough and they're saying whoa you're a savior you're a Messiah they love you but they also recognize over time that if this associate pastor or executive pastor youth pastors bring two challenges to them one relational one organizational the organizational challenges youth ministries create chaos this is the same thing I'll say about deacon boards is that by the nature of this fast moving youth culture you're going to be doing things in the church building and in the church grounds and the church program that are just wild and crazy and fun and that can scare a lot of adults and so sometimes the associate pastor is an administrative pastor they're going to say man it's nutty youth pastor what's he doing again you know he's creating more work for me I thought he was going to take work away from me instead you know building that relationship that where you appreciate his call that's the organizational challenge where you convey to him you're on top of the details but here's the personal challenge and I want to say this is very subtle and there's rarely talked about in church youth ministry is the most criticized and the most idolized ministry in the church and that those seem contradictory but they really aren't people love and hate youth ministers sometimes in the same week associate pastors assistant pastors never get that much attention the first Corinthians 12 talks about talks about the relationship between the weaker and the stronger parts of the gifts the body are the more seemingly and the unseemly parts and the old translation there I think this is one example many times assistant pastors work diligently week after week they get little they get little glamour or recognition youth pastors are just we're going on a mission trip we're going on this thing a lot of times youth pastors are criticized but a lot of times they're glamourized and there can be within staffs jealousy there can be subtly the jealousy I'm here as an associate pastor hold down the fort you're out there running around getting a lot of attention students and parents are saying you're the greatest we love you associate pastors just good job again how do we overcome that by you as a youth pastor building enough of a relationship where you know the calling you recognize the calling of that associate and you're encouraging him I'm so excited about what God's doing in your ministry and then he in turn understands your calling so he's encouraging you and your calling there's not competition between the two of you there's cooperation and there's an appreciation for what God is doing in the midst of the team ministry again that's a small thing but it's a they're going to be many times where you need that associate pastor to come and help you in a moment of need a moment of organization he may just come to referee an event he'll do that gladly if he has a relationship and even more a sense of the calling in the impact if he also understands that you have a sense of his ministry at the church and you value it when a youth minister becomes more and more isolated and individualistically running even if they're doing it according to their call they will find themselves in friction with other staff members because senior pastors will wonder if they can get input and sometimes associate pastors will wonder if they can they can have any kind of order organization pretty much have to wrap up this first session let me just close by saying the same thing is true with the board of deacons and the board of elders developing some relationships find those key people that you can connect with you can't be friends with every elder or every deacon you want to have time strategically think of how you can build relationships with one or two on those elder or deacon boards last thing church secretary the church secretary is someone that you may think well at most churches most youth ministries will not have their own secretary you will go into a church secretary will be not even your secretary they'll be the secretary of the senior pastor or the associate pastor hired you come in and the day before you need this flyer to go out you say here's a big flyer this church secretary many times we'll look at you like you're a nuisance here again the element of characters critical to this and call to the sense that you're part of the you have an important job at dinner do they sense that you have been kind to them when you didn't need them did you come into the office and greet them and interact with them ask how they're doing building those relationships make them go in the extra mile for you something they'll do easily and automatically but if you float in and float out check in and check out without really knowing or loving them they'll look at you as someone that's a nuisance and that can hurt you in your effectiveness a good church secretary going out of her or his way to serve you makes a world of difference and that can be part and they'll enjoy doing it if they have a connection to what you're doing and to what God's doing there and that's what makes team ministry exciting because that's what Paul says that I have no one else like Timothy and he's cherishing that that's what I long our next segment we may touch on these two things communication and commitment to other expressions of calling and character in the relationships of team ministry we'll see you together we'll think about five minute break we'll come back and and do that work together thanks