Today we're in Matthew chapter 5, three verses, although we'll be referring to others as well, we're in the eighth step in the principles of recovery. This is listen to what God says.
You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment, but I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, Raka is answerable to the Sanhedrin, but anyone who says you fool will be in danger of the fire of hell. Therefore, if you're offering your gift at the altar and remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar, first go and be reconciled your brother, then come and offer your gift. Amen. The year was 1506, Leonardo da Vinci painted the most famous portrait in all of art on a piece of pine wood. The picture should now be up on the screen, there it is, the Mona Lisa, one of the most admired paintings in the history of art, but let me ask you, who was she? Who was she? Nobody knows. Remember the song by Nat King Cole?
Then he went on to sing, you're so light, the lady with the mystic smile, is it only cause your lonely they have blamed you or that Mona Lisa strangeness in your style? Do you smile to tempt a lover, Mona Lisa, or is this your way to hide a broken heart? Many dreams have been brought to your doorstep. They just lie there and they die there. Are you warm? Are you real Mona Lisa or just a cold and lonely, lovely work of art? Who was the Mona Lisa? Actually, Leonardo da Vinci never even called this painting the Mona Lisa, the name comes to us from the mid-sixteenth-century biographer Georgio Vesare. He was the one who gave the the name Mona Lisa to this painting. It was thought by him to have been commissioned by Madame Lisa Giancando, who was the wife of a wealthy Florentine in that day. The problem with her theory is that Vesare's book was published 31 years after the death of da Vinci and the book is known to contain any number of inaccuracies. It's also kind of strange if it was commissioned by this woman to be painted, why wasn't it ever delivered to her? Some people don't know that da Vinci worked and reworked this painting for over four years, that he carried it with him during his travels and only parted with it at his death. If it was commissioned, why was it never delivered? Some have suggested that the Mona Lisa isn't a portrait of a single woman, that it's a composite of da Vinci, a composite of his idolization of all womanhood, or others have suggested that the Mona Lisa was really a streetwalker who was known to him. But there's a new theory as well. Dr. Lillian Schwartz of Bill Labs did a computer study of the Mona Lisa and discovered that when this picture is digitized and compared to Leonardo da Vinci's own self-portrait, the facial features align perfectly next picture. There it is. And so is the Mona Lisa really is it a picture of da Vinci himself? No one knows for sure, but it certainly is interesting to think about, isn't it? Now why don't I tell that story? I tell it because with step 8, our tendency is to think, well that doesn't really apply to me because step 8 reads like this, we made a list of all persons that we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Now it's easily seen how that is applied from Matthew 521, but here's what goes on, our thought processes. We think in these terms, it's others who have wronged me. Why this step of making a list of people that I've harmed, when it's others who have wronged me, I could give you a list. I want you to consider this morning when we look at this step and as we look at this particular passage, that the face you see is your own. Let that sink in. The face you really see is your own. First point is a disclaimer. Now you don't frequently hear a disclaimer in sermons, I'm not making you disclaimer about what the Bible says because the Bible is always true. I want to make a disclaimer about what this passage is normally thought to mean. It's commonly thought that if someone is upset with you about something that you go to them immediately and get them straight otherwise your worship will be rejected. Someone's upset with you, you go to them immediately and get it straight or your worship will be rejected. Now think with me, that's close but that's not quite what this is saying. Here's why. If you and I did that, we would never worship at all. We would never ever get around to worshiping at all. We've talked a few occasions about coming into worship in a timely way and so forth. But if we take that interpretation, not only would it all of us be late to worship, we would never ever get here on any day because somebody is always upset with us. That's true. You can make a list right now of a number of people who are probably upset with you about something. Think of Jesus. Jesus perfectly fulfilled all righteousness the Bible says. Think of the list of people who were upset and unhappy with him, Pharisees, Sadducees, Caiaphas, Judas Iscariot. Think of the constant plots against Jesus. If Jesus had taken this passage seriously, if he had interpreted that way, Jesus would never have been able to go and worship. Not because he'd sin but because someone was always upset with him about something. In fact, anytime that there's a strong leader, people will be upset and disgruntled. Anytime there's a strong leader, somebody is going to be upset and someone is going to be disgruntled. Example, that would be someone like Bear Bryant who's been dead for quite a few years now. The coach at Alabama, very famous, very successful and yet even late in his career, there were people who were disenchanted and disgruntled with Bear Bryant. Anytime there's a strong leader, someone is going to be upset. It came as a revelation to me in the mid-80s as I pastored my first church. Not everybody was going to like me. It was shocking at the time. But think of this way. The Christian life is not sucking up to everyone in agreement. That doesn't leadership. Think of politicians who try to make everybody happy. When politicians try to make everybody happy, what do they do? They don't succeed. They make no one happy. Think of Matthew 24, verse 9, where Jesus said, you will be hated by all nations on account of my name. In this passage, and we want to take it seriously, it's also clear you're not responsible for somebody else's grudge. You are not responsible for someone else's hatred. Take a deep breath. It's good news. You are responsible with others and what they think when it has to do with real sin on your part. You are responsible with others and with what they think when it has to do with real sin on your part. But even when you seek reconciliation and because this verse is powerful but even when you seek reconciliation, the truth is you can't bring about reconciliation all by yourself. You can't. It's supernatural. That's why we need the Holy Spirit. And so I think the emphasis here of this passage also agrees with Romans 12-18, where Paul says, if it's possible, as far as it depends on you, as far as it depends on you, live it peace with everyone. So that's the disclaimer. Point two. Why is this important? Step eight, we made a list of all persons we had harmed. It came willing to make amends to them all. Why is this important? It's important because it's part of repentance. It's part of living out the gospel. Years ago, true story, I knew of a young woman who signed a contract to teach in a Christian school. Wasn't here with someplace else. Weeks later, she was made a better offer by another school and she accepted the second offer even though she'd accepted the first one and signed a contract. And then she called the Christian school and said, well, I'm sorry, but I found something better and I have prayed about it and I have a lot of peace about my decision. She had a contract. She signed it, but she prayed about it. It had a lot of a lot of peace about her decision to break her contract. The school was in panic for a few days until they could find another teacher to take her place. And the headmaster said these words, I've never forgotten them. He said, oh, that's great. She has the peace and we have the pieces. Luke 631 certainly applies here as well. Jesus said, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. So why is this important? It's important because this is part of living out the gospel, but it's also important because the only way that you can put this into practice is to receive the righteousness of Jesus as a gift. That's the only way. Because when you go to someone else and make amends as to how you have sinned against them and how you've harmed them, the only way you can possibly do that is by receiving the righteousness, the perfect obedience of Christ as a gift so that that's what you're really conscious of. And when you're clothed and dressed in His righteousness, it's not so threatening to confess your own sins. If you take this principle seriously, you may not look wonderful to other people, but that really isn't the point. Proverbs 14, fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright. Don't mock this principle. Don't mock step 8. Fools mock at making amends for sin. Goodwill is found among the upright. It was three or four years ago when the General Assembly met in Chattanooga that I saw a teaching elder in the PCA that I had wronged 20 years before. He came to see me at the time. He was several years older than me, but he told me at the time that he felt that I had bypassed him and bypassed his church session, and he was really struggling with what I had done. I remember telling him very clearly at the time that I was sorry that he felt that way, but after all, I'd followed the book of church order, and several other guys in Presbytery had told me that I had done the right thing. I'm sorry you're upset, but hey, I did the right thing. I hadn't seen this guy in years. He greeted me, shook hands, and I knew that I had to make amends. And so I said, Henry, could I have about 10 minutes of your time? He said, sure. And we sat down. I said, something like this, it's taken me way too long to apologize to you with how I handled that matter with Presbytery 20 years ago. I was a new seminary grad. I was arrogant and inexperienced. And while I never intended to hurt you, I can see that I did, and I am so ashamed of it, and I'm especially ashamed that it's taken 20 years for me to see it and to tell you. This is a true story. I was shocked, as I said these things to him, that tears came to my eyes and down my cheeks. And then I saw tears in his eyes because you see, it was still important. Even after 20 years, and we prayed together and corresponded some sense. Well, you might be asking this question point three, what does all this have to do with persistent addictive sin? What does this have to do with it? Everything. Everything. Let me tell you some of the things that drive persistent addictive sin. Secrets, family secrets that you can't talk about with anybody, physical abuse in your past, sexual abuse, a gay uncle who hid on you, an alcoholic parent or a grandparent, and nobody could ever talk about it. Someone in your family who was a rage of holic and it was never been resolved or just unresolved conflict of some type, lingering anger or hostility. Let me ask you, where do you really struggle? I know the answer to that. But I want to see if you know the answer. Where do you, where do you really struggle? Where do all of us really struggle? You know where it is? With relationships, with relationships. This is at the heart of step eight, making a list of the men's and going to the other person. It's the heart of the step. We are damaged by other people. We've been sent against by other people, but we are also damages. Remember the song from about 30 years ago, you probably hated it. It's not a theologically precise song. Pass it on. It only takes a spark to get a fire going. You can change the words of that. It only takes a spark to get a fire going and soon all those around can warm up to its glowing. That's how it is with resentment. Once you've experienced it, you spread the strife to all around, you want to pass it on. Now, that's really the truth about the song, pass it on. To get relief from turmoil, from things that have never been settled and solved, to get relief, we seek some substance, some activity to relieve, to relieve the pressure and to divert our attention. Let me just ask, how many broken relationships do you have? I mean, just plain old, broken relationships. How many people here have a list of folks that you would like vindication with? If the truth were known, you would like some kind of vindication or revenge. What memories come to mind? What people? Was the other person wrong? Sure, no doubt, but it doesn't mean that there isn't sin involved in the way that you responded. Are there people that you've frozen out? You know, well, I just pretend like she's not there. He's not there, passing the halls at church. I'll just kind of freeze them out. I'll excommunicate them from my life. The principle here is to offer forgiveness to people who have hurt you and to make amends for the harm you caused to others, being free of a destructive persistence in isn't a matter of just stopping the behavior. It's so common that people say, you know, I don't have a lot of problems drinking is my problem. Charge cards are my problem. Prescription meds, that's my problem, pots my problem, gambling, loss the internet, gossip, food, exercise. That's my problem. That's not your problem. That's been your solution. That's been your solution. And you won't begin to get a handle on your sinful response until you deal with what got you there. Isn't it true? Anything that we enjoy, anything that's experienced physically that we enjoy, we desire to repeat it, don't we? My wife made me a carrot cake for my birthday this week. My favorite kind of cake. I get great pleasure out of eating a piece of carrot cake. Do I want just one? No, that's experience I want to repeat because I want to enjoy it. With saying, you see, Satan pen points the things that we enjoy and says, why not build your life around that? And so the substance or the activity becomes a way to bring control to your whole world of emotions. Now you've heard people say, always about others, oh, he's a control freak. She's a control freak. I'm here to tell you, every one here is a control freak. Every single one of us tries to control our world, our emotions on the basis of what we do or what we find enjoyable. That affair, that drink, those pills, the porn, or even just watching the evening news. Our cravings reveal who or what controls us. And the question is, will I hunger for Jesus or will I hunger for my own pleasure? That's it in a nutshell. I'm sure you've been watching the sporting news recently or if you haven't watched the sporting news, you've seen it on the evening news. Now that Michael Vinc has pleaded guilty, there have been many articles suggesting all kinds of appropriate punishments and many people have adapted his confession. How could anybody do that to sweet dogs? What a blind spot. Is he just trying to to worm his way out of trouble? Maybe. But I always get a little bit uneasy whenever people get really rabid about somebody else's sin or somebody else's crime. I'm concerned about torturing dogs. But what about all the babies that were aborted just in the last week? Where's the outrage? Where's the outcry? It's part of human nature that we're we're always outraged about somebody else's sin. And we don't want to acknowledge this. There is something in me that is as out of bounds, as unthinkable, as unreasonable, as unpredictable, as uncontrollable, as that. It's true. It's true of me. It's true of you. Understand that step eight is a hard step, hard step. Because the person that you have harmed or the person that you have hated may have harmed you even more. Really, they may have harmed you even more. But this is not a matter of, oh you did this to me. And so I have hated you for it and I'm confessing it. No, you're not fishing for an apology. This is not, you remember mom the time when you cursed at me and swore at me and I was so upset and I went out drinking. Oh no, no, no, no, nobody else can make you sin. Their sins aren't even on the radar. Step eight is about you. Now how can you admit your fault to somebody like that? Somebody's really harmed you. You go to them in a forgetting spirit, confessing your ill feeling and expressing your own regret because, and this is critical, you are there to sweep off your side of the street. You're there to sweep off your side of the street. Maybe you owe them money. Maybe you owe someone back child support. Maybe you're in debt. Maybe you've just shunned someone. Maybe you've just hated them. Maybe you've killed them, but you must understand that an important step in battling persistence in is reconciling with others in order to come to a place of serenity in your own heart. It's not just true in AA and other 12 step programs. It is a biblically sound principle. An important step in battling persistence in is reconciling with others in coming to a place of serenity in your own heart. Perhaps you've heard of the serenity prayer. It's commonly referred or attributed to Reinhold Nieber, supposedly written about 1950. Actually, it goes back much further than that. At least 100 years. Perhaps several centuries. The serenity prayer. I'll just have to tell you, I think that this was a trite prayer. No kidding. I used to see this prayer needle pointed and so forth and friends homes and I thought that doesn't really say much. I didn't understand how deep this prayer is. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can't and the wisdom to know the difference. Did you know that Whitney Houston put the serenity prayer on the back of her debut album? Did you know the rock group Boston included the serenity prayer in their song Higher Power? Did you know that she made O'Connor includes the serenity prayer in her song and her song feels so different that it's in the song Gotta Make It To Heaven by 50 Cent. But it's in the book Slotter House Five by Kurt Vonnegut that it's in the novels Salem's Lot by Stephen King that the hardcore punk band Blood for Blood has an album named after the serenity prayer and the first and last tracks of the album are the serenity prayer being recited by the band's lead singer. Do you know it's on a CD by Olivia Newton John the song stronger than before it includes a setting of the serenity prayer. It's in the movie Billy Jack going back about 30 years the the lead email character in the movie repeats the serenity prayer several times but it's not just long ago it lawn orders season six episode 22 aired May 21st of this year the serenity prayer is recited during a prayer group. In the the TV show King of the Hill episode how I learned to stop worrying and love the Alamo the principal refers a student to the serenity prayer did you know that musician Neil Young of Crosby stills Nash and Young put the serenity prayer in Latin on the back of his album reactor did you know he had a son or has a son born with cerebral palsy think maybe there's something to serenity my parents divorced when I was 37 they'd been married for 42 years my dad remarried a year later mom stayed single my dad and his wife eventually moved to to Gulf Breeze and joined my church in Pensacola my dad came to my office one day with a letter of apology with a letter of repentance to my mom for his failures as a husband a couple pages he didn't fish for anything he was simply sweeping his side of the street and before he mailed it he said I want to know what you think of this and I read it it's a good letter dad it's a good letter I've never been proud to be his son it brought great serenity to his life it really did and so now I have a very simple question when you look at this step when you look at this passage before God who's faced you see who's faced you see someone else's where you're on it's part of repentance as we believe the gospel it's it's only possible by first receiving the righteousness of Christ as a gift that's true serenity have a different version of the serenity prayer I prefer to believe it's a little better it's a little strengthened I'd like us to end the service today by saying together the serenity prayer that will be on the screen God give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed the courage to change the things that should be changed and the wisdom to distinguish one for the other living one day at a time enjoying one moment at a time not taking matters into my own hands as an addict but forgiving others to live the right way not telling myself that what I do will not affect others but accepting hardship as a pathway to peace loving a sinful world that is not as I would have it trusting that you will make all things right if I surrender to your will believing in the communion of saints in order to be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next I'm in let's pray Father in heaven thank you for the the principles of repentance found so clearly in your word give us insight into each of our hearts as to what drives us what makes us tick and drive all of us I pray to Jesus Christ