We Can't Do It Alone

Hi, I'm David Delk, and I have the privilege of teaching the middle school manhood adventure class on Sunday mornings And we will be reading today in first Samuel chapter 18 Versus one through four and that's on page 280 of the Bible if you can reach down on to a chair in front of you If you need one there should be a Bible somewhere near you Page 280 first Samuel chapter 18 verses one through four After David had finished talking with Saul Johnathan became one in spirit with David and he loved him as himself From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return to his father's house and Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David along with his tunic and even his sword his bow and his belt May God add understanding to the reading of his holy word. Thank you David our Senior pastor Mike Osborne is actually out of town this weekend. He and Susie went to Ford Lauderdale Or I'm sorry not Ford Lauderdale to tell a Hesse to FSU They're old as son David just graduated from law school So they're there this weekend and we'll make sure and pray for them. Let's let's go before the Lord in prayer Heavenly Father, I thank you so much for the opportunity we have to come before you in worship and Lord today is your day and in fact it's considered the Lord's day the Sabbath and Lord Maybe we keep it holy I pray that you'll give us rest I pray that afterwards my friends here can take a nap I pray that they'll be able to just relax and I also pray that they will just be able to worship you and that you'll keep The Matinav today under the word Lord. I also want to just be grateful and thankful for our parents Especially our moms Lord I'm reminded of second Timothy chapter one verse five when Paul is actually Talking to Timothy and he's saying I have been reminded of your sincere faith Which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and I am also persuaded now lives in you also father I love this text because Paul is talking about how important a mother's role is into the lives of their children And it's amazing because here it is a young pastor Timothy grew up in the faith because of his influence from his mother and his grandmother and Lord I just thank you for all the women here who just spend day in and day out just praying for their children and loving their children And thank you Lord I pray Lord that they will just feel special today and father be with Mike and Susie as they are out of town I pray that they will just be in great celebration as their son David has graduated law school May we be joyful with him and make sure and be praying for him Lord Please open our hearts tonight or today as we look into your text and thank you for your word in Jesus name amen I'm a continuing continuing the series where Mike left off last week on the life of David an Undivided heart and my sermon title is we can't do it alone As I was thinking about what to say this week I began to look upon what our society is like and we live in a very independent society We hear slogans all the time like every man for himself or Survival of the fittest But in all reality we were designed for relationships When the world tells us to make it on our own the Bible tells us that we can't do it alone The world tells us we can do it on our own, but the Bible says no, you can't we need others as We continue on with these with this series. I'm going to be looking at really three chapters Chapters 18 19 and 20 I'll be focusing mainly on the text David just read in chapter 18 and The main focus is going to be on this friendship of David and Jonathan and how incredible it really was Now unfortunately many of us here today only have acquaintances or people that we just consider somewhat friends We have people who we pick from time to time to supplement our pleasures and our needs and Over a period of time these friends seem to disappear and they're nowhere to be found Before I get into this text to discuss this friendship of David and Jonathan I would like to explain four reasons why it's difficult in our day to keep and maintain a good solid friendship The first reason why it's difficult to keep a friendship is because it takes a lot of time It takes a lot of time. You know a good friendship just doesn't happen over one cup of coffee It doesn't happen overnight. It takes a lot of time to really build into a good solid friendship The second reason why it's difficult to maintain a good friendship is because it takes a lot of effort It takes a lot of energy to invest in someone's else's life on top of all the other activities that we have in our own life It just takes a lot of effort The third reason is that it takes a lot of patience You can't just be best friends with anyone in fact It could take a number of years before God provides for you a good friend. So it takes a lot of patience And then the fourth reason is that it takes humbling ourselves before another person We may think things like I don't want to get vulnerable with someone else or it's hard to let my guard down But in order to go deeper into a strong friendship with someone else We must be willing and honest to be held accountable We must be willing to be held accountable and in that to be honest with our friend now all of these are just a few reasons Why it's difficult to keep and maintain a good friendship However in the book of Ecclesiastes chapter 4 verse 9 and 10 the author says this Two are better than one because they have a good return for their work if one falls down His friend can help him up But pity pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up My question is what happens when we fall and have no one else to pick us up? I'll tell you what happens. We're stuck. They're all alone and we can't get up We need each other. We need people. We can't do it alone The major point I want us to understand this morning is that healthy having a healthy relationship doesn't confine us it develops us Having a healthy relationship doesn't confine us, but it develops us It is my goal today to convince you that we can't do it alone It is my desire to look into the scriptures And show you the true story of two men Jonathan and David who have who had an incredible friendship And it is my hope that you will leave here today feeling more motivated and encouraged to retail to someone Someone that you trust and begin forming a stronger relationship with them this week Now how am I going to accomplish these goals in 25 minutes? Well, I'm going to do it by addressing one question and the question is how does having a true Friend help develop us how does having a true friend help develop us and I'm going to give us just three reasons The first reason why having a true friend develops us is because we have someone who is committed to us We have someone who is committed to us in verse 1 of chapter 18 It says this after David had finished talking with Saul Jonathan became one in spirit with David and he loved him as himself I love the NIV. I try to read this every day that this version But I think the ESV really hits it home in this in this passage it says this The English standard verse and says as soon as he had finished speaking to Saul the soul of Jonathan was knit To the soul of David and Jonathan loved him as his own soul Now that passage when he looked at it that way is just profound Their soul is knit together. They loved him as their own soul Now many of you many of you may be thinking what does this mean? Well the idea the idea of Jonathan loving him as his own soul Is that both parties here? David and Jonathan loved the other more than himself They were on the same page and they both gave all that they could give to one another In fact it mentions twice in verses 1 and 3 that Jonathan loved David as he loved himself Now how did these men prove that they loved each other more than themselves They did so by making a covenant commitment towards each other In verse 3 we read and Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself The Hebrew word for made can also mean cut So we could read it as and Jonathan cut a covenant with David because he loved him as himself Now thinking of it this way in the Old Testament what they would do when they would make a covenant As they would literally cut an animal after killing it They would cut it into pieces and they would spread it on two different sides And then both parties would walk through the animal And as they would walk through they would say if I am unfaithful to my word in this covenant May I end up in pieces just like this animal In other words if Jonathan and David Would break their covenant promise they would be as good as dead That's how serious this covenant was This idea takes friendship to a whole new level It's like saying I will keep my promises with you no matter what no matter what you do. I'm going to keep my promises with you You see having a true friendship gives us this strong feeling and sense of security We don't have to impress anyone anymore But we can be ourselves no matter what this person is always going to be there no matter what This is an incredible credible idea here now I think that this idea of a covenant relationship as I was reflecting on it this week is so foreign To our society It's so foreign why is it so foreign because our society is a consumeristic society Where it's all about me and it's all about what I can get we see it all the time It's a society that says I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine I'll help you out as long as you help me and unfortunately all the time we hear about it in the news of business deals going bad Or politicians going corrupt because they live behind this principle that I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine Think about it in our own lives for instance if you go to publics if that's your shopping center of choice The reason you may go and shop at publics is because they have fresh food they have good customer service They have that's just easy to find things right so that may be good reasons why you go to publics but as soon as publics doesn't Do these things then you're going to go somewhere else that better serves you I do it Another example would be church hopping and as a pastor I see it all the time People come to church and they expect to be spiritually nourished by a good sermon They expect to be emotionally charged and they expect to hear good music But if the church doesn't deliver they just move on to the next church because it didn't serve them I was even listening to the radio it was a rock and roll station. I was listening to it three months ago um and this woman calls in and she said she was seeking counsel from a DJ And she was asking him she just said hey um I'm really struggling in my marriage In fact my husband's not doing his part and I'm just unhappy. What should I do? Do you know what the DJ said unfortunately? This is he what he said and I quote he said hey Life is too short Get a divorce if you're unhappy get out of it life is too short This is a type of thing that our society is promoting It's just this if our culture around is telling us that if we should we should get whatever we want And if our spouse our church our friend or even our grocery store is not meeting our needs Then we shouldn't have to meet theirs Uh just recently in the end of March I was performing uh wedding ceremony to david and megan sap over there and uh during their ceremony David or david and megan brown well she changed last names But during that ceremony I was giving this idea of a covenant relationship And as they were exchanging their vows They say for richer for poor through sickness and health till death to us part It's this idea that even during those times of unhappiness, they're going to stick it out Because they've made this covenant promise with each other Instead of thinking what can I get this idea of a covenant commitment is what can I give Instead of being all about me it's all about the other person So in times get tough This this married couple is still going to keep their covenant promise to be committed You see covenant spells out the word security And in a non-committal world of insecurity God is calling us to be in covenant with each other And this provides great security Let me say that again In a non-committal world of insecurity God is calling us to be in covenant with each other And this provides great security We see this kind of commitment from these two guys In chapter 20 of 1 Samuel, david has just fled away from king Saul And he runs from king Saul because the king tried to kill him So david runs away he escapes And he goes to Jonathan his best friend and seeks counsel But the thing is is Jonathan is the king's son And so david goes to Jonathan and asks him Will you please try to figure out your father because he's invited me to come and Dine with him at the new moon festival He's come invite he's invited me to dine with him at the king's table And I'm afraid he's going to kill me So will you just feel out your dad and see if he's if he's over it if he's okay and not trying to kill me Well in verse 8 of chapter 20 david says this to Jonathan As for you show kindness to your servant for you have brought him into covenant with you before the lord And he said if I'm guilty then kill me yourself Why hand me over to your father As the chapter 20 unfolds Jonathan ends up keeping his covenant with david And after discovering that his father was still angry at david and wanted to kill him Jonathan tells david to escape So you see here that Jonathan keeps his end of the deal For keeping that covenant but Keeping a covenant works both ways and we see it With david as well In fact in chapter 20 verse 14 to 17 Jonathan asked david to keep his part of the covenant and he says this But show me unfailing kindness like that of the lord as long as I live So that I may not be killed and do not ever cut off your kindness from my family Not even when the lord has cut off every one of david's enemies from the face of the earth So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of david saying Made the lord called david's enemies to account And Jonathan had david reaffirm his oath out of love for him because he loved him as he loved himself What is awesome about this picture is that as we read on in second Samuel chapter 9 Jonathan has already died Saul has died David was the only one left living and he was he was going to become king or he had become king and the servant of Saul Came forward to david and david asked the servant of Saul is there anyone left who's still alive Is there anyone left who's still alive that's related to Jonathan? And the servant said yes as a matter of fact Jonathan has one son left. He's crippled on both feet. His name is mafibishaf So david in chapter 9 of second Samuel actually meets mafibishaf Jonathan's crippled son and in verse 7 of chapter 9 he says don't be afraid mafibishaf For I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul and you will always you will always eat at my table You see The thing the idea here is that david could have easily killed off anybody related to Saul or Jonathan because Jonathan was already dead David didn't have to keep his part of the deal of the covenant but he did He did and what he what he what he did was he actually brought in this crippled son of Jonathan who he didn't even know and said you can die in at the king's table with me And you can have an inheritance of your father's land your grandfather's land And so we see that david does his end of the deal as well But as we look at a covenant relationship As we look at both parties not only does involve two different people Who have to play their part but god has to be the center of that Relationship god has to be the center of your friendships in fact in first Samuel chapter 20 verse 23 Jonathan tells david Remember the lord is witness between me and you forever Remember that god is witness between me and you forever So just as the lord shows us steady and consistent love so we must show this to others If a friendship doesn't have the lord in it Let me tell you it will fail if a marriage doesn't have the lord as its center it will fail But if we have god at the center of our relationships then we keep our commitment with the other person And in fact, we're doing the will of god when we do that God must be our focus and everything that we do Including our relationships with others So having a true friend develops us because we have someone committed to us But it also develops us because we have someone who is willing to sacrifice for us In verse 4 of chapter 18 after Jonathan makes a covenant with david He gives david the robe he was wearing He also gives him his tunic his sword his bow and his belt As i said earlier Jonathan is the king's son and as a result he was heir to the throne So david would have been more of a threat To Jonathan than david was to solve but the thing was because Jonathan loved david as himself He didn't care and he wanted to support david for being the future king Because he knew that david was god's appointed man for the position And so Jonathan was loyal to that and he remained committed to that Now in chapter 20 of first Samuel Jonathan sacrifices his own relationship with his dad After he defends david we read in verse 30 that Saul's anger flared up at Jonathan and he called his own son A son of a perverse and rebellious woman Saul tries to bring Jonathan back to his side by making him feel guilty and shameful And he even threatened his own son by saying That as long as david lives on this earth The kingdom his kingdom would not be established that his own son's kingdom would not be established But instead of trying to Viet ease with his dad and to please his own father Jonathan sticks up for his friend david by saying Why dad should david be put to death What is he done to you And after Jonathan says this to his father Saul is angry and he throws his spirit at his own son and tries to kill him The next part of this is one of the most amazing passages i've ever read in the bible It says Jonathan got up from the table and fierce anger And on that second day of the month he did not eat because he was grieved At his father shameful treatment of david Let me read that again on that second day of the month he did not eat because he was grieved at his father shameful treatment of david This is profound Here it is Jonathan was almost killed by his own dad But instead of being upset about this he was more upset that his dad was was upset about david It blows me away this kind of commitment that Jonathan had to his friend This is a magnificent portrayal of what a true friend is all about Jonathan was willing to say no to his own agenda his own goals his own safety and even his own father If it could bring benefit to his friend david He was willing to be inconvenienced Now do you have a friend who you know you could call at any time during the day when they would drop Whatever they were doing and come to you Do you have a friend who would do anything for you? I'm reminded of a story of pat morley who is the founder of our local man in the mirror In the 1970s during the recession he went to his friend robert He was struggling financially and so he went to his friend robert whom he had known at the time for 12 years And he said robert i'm struggling financially What what advice would you give me as my best friend? And robert his friend responded to pat saying pat I don't have any answers But if the worst happens I have enough money for the both of us to live on Whatever I have is yours You see having a true friend brings us freedom because we have someone who is willing to sacrifice us for us It develops us because we have someone who is willing to sacrifice for us Now having a true friend Helps develop us because the third reason we have someone who speaks well of us And second chance a second Samuel chapter one verse 25 and 26 David speaks very highly of Jonathan after Jonathan had died and he said this about him He said how the mighty have fallen in battle Jonathan lies Slain on your heights. I agree for you Jonathan my brother. You are very dear to me Your love for me was more wonderful than that of women Now after Jonathan died David spoke highly of him. He said that Jonathan was mighty in battle He said that he was very dear to him And he even said that his love for him was more wonderful than that of women Now many of you you may be thinking what does that mean Well when David says that Jonathan's love for him was more wonderful than that of women What David means here is that he's calling special attention to Jonathan's radical self-denial and giving up any right To the throne of Israel This does not intend to suggest That love between a friend is more superior to marital love But rather the point seems to be to underscore the amazing selfless quality of Jonathan's love for David You know, we do know that that David didn't have the best marriage We know that he married Jonathan's sister Michael and that didn't that didn't go too over too well But I think that David may be implying here that love that involves loyalty and commitment is far more profound Than love that just that just involves physical attraction between the sexes I think that's where he's getting at when he says that Jonathan's love for him was more profound than that of women This does not mean that they had homosexual feelings In fact when I was in seminary there are many liberal scholars out there that say that this must mean that they were homosexuals But that's far be it from the case here In fact if that was the truth We would know about it because in second Samuel the author Doesn't hold back anything on David's sin He talks about how he had an affair with Bathsheba and how he Killed Uriah so he would have been very implicit If that was the case But that is bogus in fact here They just truly loved each other more than themselves because of that loyalty and commitment Now if you're married I strongly believe that your spouse must be your best friend in fact when I talk with college students all the time I tell them that you need to look for somebody that you're going to marry who is your best friend You know because you're going to be living with them the rest of your life. They need to be your best friend But I also think we should have a best friend of someone who is of the same sex Why do I say this? It's very important to be held accountable by someone who can relate to you And someone who you can trust and someone who can speak the hard truth to you when you need to hear it And that's important to have someone who's outside of your marriage Let's face it. I grew up with two older sisters a mother and I now live with my lovely wife Stephanie But the more I'm learning about women I don't understand you know We think completely different Than one another we're totally you know different when it comes to conclusions And I'm amazed with how Stephanie can do five things at one time and I could barely even do one I'm just amazed by it but growing up with my mother She just showed me that this was true. I would come home. She would have dinner. She would be cooking dinner She would have a serious conversation with me. She would um She would talk about the days events tomorrow She'd be feeding the dog. She would be doing all kinds of things like six or seven things at once And I was just like trying to keep up with her. I didn't know how she was doing it But it was all done at one time And I think that has a good reason why women are such great mothers I'm not saying guys that we can't multitask. I just haven't really seen it But I haven't seen it done. Yes But anyway, what I'm saying is that because we're so different we need someone of the same sex um I love being with guys. I love just Having a guy night out and watching a war movie and grilling out and just talking about manly stuff And I don't know what that means exactly what manly stuff is, but I love it I just I just do In fact when my brother got married we hosted a tool party for him and I'm not the most handyman And I had no idea what kind of tools they were they were giving him But I had a blast. I didn't care because I was with other men and we were joking together We were belching together and we were just having a blast Just talking about manly stuff Guys in this church. I need you. I need you men Women you need each other Stephanie goes to a women's Bible study on Tuesday nights And it blows me away every single Tuesday night when she comes home She's just a different person. She'll come home just bubbly and and just really just seems refreshed and rejuvenated And I'm like what happened and she'll just say I had a blast with my women friends. They were great And I realize every week when she comes home that they give her something that I can't Because they can relate so much better now We have a lot of great things going on in our church for you to get involved in We have life groups if you're not in a life group. Please talk to me after the service if You know if you don't have that many good friends We have kingdom men's ministry. We've got women's ministry that you can get involved in But I hope you look through the worship guide and get involved because these are the types of things where true relationships are formed We also we need a friend of the same sex who will not talk bad about us behind our backs David as we read earlier spoke highly of Jonathan And in chapter 19 Jonathan spoke highly of David. It works both ways In fact in verse four of chapter 19 Jonathan it says Jonathan spoke well of David to saw his father and said to him Let not the king do wrong to a servant David. He has not wronged you and what he has done has benefited you greatly King saw one at his son to kill Jonathan but instead of killing or to kill David But instead of killing David Jonathan spoke well of him to his father He didn't talk bad behind his back, but he was committed to David in his words When David wasn't around I hear people all the time And I do this I fall short of this just fall into gossip And when they hear something they'll immediately go to someone else and say did you hear that about so and so and they don't go to the source And I always tell them if you hear of anything or if you feel anything bad about someone then go to them and ask them and get the truth You know, I think our society and I do this too It's we hate confrontation and we try to do everything to avoid it But my thought is is you got to confront the issue because it may not be true And this is what Jonathan did for David He spoke well behind his back and he even spoke to David face to face when time came Now when I was in middle school I was 12 years old And I remember this was 15 years ago I see my age but it's 15 years ago And when I was there all these kids were just making kind of making fun of me And they were talking bad about me behind my back they were saying things that simply weren't true at all And I found out from my friend Daniel who told me this and they just were things that weren't true And I was really discouraged but I asked Daniel I said Daniel what what did you say And Daniel said Seth you know what I told him said Seth I told them That I don't know if that's true or not But even if it is I'm sure Seth had a good reason for it for it for doing what he did And I looked at Daniel and I said thank you When everybody else was talking bad about me that of something that wasn't true You didn't you stuck up for me when I wasn't around thank you That's what true friendship is all about And just three months ago Daniel Cox My friend 12 years ago in middle school was standing by my side In my wedding as a groom's man and you better believe that was one of the main reasons I asked him to be by my side I wanted the biggest days of my life because of 12 or 15 years ago 15 years ago what he did for me Now having a true friend develops us because we have someone who is committed to us Someone who is willing to sacrifice for us and someone who speaks well of us even when we're not around If you don't have a friend like this I hope and pray that you reach out to someone that you trust this week That's my encouragement to you But even if you have a close friend I give you even more hope what the scriptures tell us and the scriptures tell us and these are true These words in this book are true And what they tell us is that we have a friend even better than our closest friend on this earth and his name is Jesus Christ And he is committed to us that he will never leave us and never forsake us He has put us above himself by sacrificing his own life for us and he will always stick up for us We all need him and we all need to call upon his name today Let's pray Lord God, I thank you that you are our friend I thank you Jesus Christ that you have died on the cross for us you sacrifice you're willing to sacrifice for us I thank you that you are committed to us with that kind of covenant commitment that Never changes that you'll be there for us no matter what we do because you have given us that promise And Lord, I thank you that you speak well for us and that you love us Even when we don't love you you love us as you love yourself And I thank you for that and I pray Lord for my friends here today that you will just inspire in them A hope to really reach out to someone of the same sex that can speak the truth to them But that they can also joke around with and have a good time But I pray that my friends if they don't have a close friend already will really seek out that friendship I ask these things in Jesus Christ name amen