All right, 1 Corinthians 7, Paul takes a big turn in this letter. He's been studying with us, we've been studying this letter for some time. And in turn, as this, Paul has been talking to the Corinthians about problems that he had heard in the Church via messenger, but now he begins to respond to issues that they have raised with him by a letter. Notice the first words of chapter 7. He's now going to answer questions that they pose in a letter to him. And here's what I want you to get. Paul's going to talk about some pretty hot button stuff like sexual relations in marriage and like divorce. Things that often make us very uncomfortable. Things that sometimes we have painful experiences associated with. Things sometimes we wish we could just didn't mention. They went on said. But Paul's going to talk about them. And the fact that he does teaches us two things. I want us to know it before we start. The first is that there is a proper forthrightness demonstrated by the Apostle Paul. You know what being forthright is? It's like the man is in this swank restaurant and he's reading the menu and the waiter comes up and says, can I take your order and the designer looks up and says, well tell me, how do you prepare your chicken? And the waiter looks at him and says, well, he's just kind of looking right in the face and tell him they're going to die. It's not going to get any better than that. It's the best stuff I've got. All right, that's forthrightness. It's what Howard Castell used to say. Everyone would say something controversial and they'd question him what would he say? I'm just telling it like it is. That's forthrightness. The Bible is a forthright book. Think of John the Baptist. People come out into the wilderness. And when the Pharisees come, what does he say? You brood of vipers. The Bible's filled with people who speak forthrightly and truthfully come Jesus. Our Father's Abraham, Jesus said, no, your Father's not Abraham. Your Father is the devil. Peter says, I will follow you to the end of the earth. You know, I will never deny you, Jesus said, no, actually, before the... You'll deny me three times. Peter, Jesus at one point looks at Peter and says, get me behind me, Satan. Fourthright words, you'll find throughout the Bible. People speaking directly about very difficult, very hard things. It's a great thing about the... Listen, we can't turn the Bible into a coffee table book. The Bible is not chicken soup for the soul. The Bible is bloody and it's earthy and it's edgy. And the Bible is bold and it's sharp and sometimes it's very uncomfortable and it's all true. And so Paul demonstrates for a... A fourth rightness, but will be unto the pastor or the church that attempts to make God in his book, came. They're just not. And honestly, we can't read this book and not be uncomfortable. So, we'll see Paul demonstrate that fourthrightness as the address of the Corinthians. We'll see something else. We'll see Paul model for us a way of living. And that is to live with a theological reflection. The theological reflection. That means you do life thoughtfully and biblically in contrast to our culture. Our culture, having lost its mooring, is like a boat adrift, not tied to any dock, not tied so that our culture has no true north. It has no objective truth upon which to base anything, it's just utterly adrift in a sea of relativism. And so, even very bright people in our culture can come across as days and confused constantly. Now, in fact, I read down recently about amensa convention in San Francisco. You know what men's is? It's all the brainy. People have to have more than a 140 IQ to be in this organization. And if the convention they were all out to lunch and at lunch they were... Somebody mentioned that the salt was in the pepper shaker and the pepper was in the salt shaker. And they began to debate how to remedy that situation. And they presented varying proposals, how to do that. And perhaps they came up with a plan all on the consensus among them, involving the saucer, involving a straw, involving a napkin that they could dip the salt. And they called the waitress over to dazzle her with their proposed solution. Namely, if you notice that the salt is in the pepper and the pepper is in the salt, do you know what we proposed it to? And she looked at them and she unscrewed both caps and switched them and screwed them back. So, sorry about that, walk away. You see, there is a... there is truth that cuts through the cloud of confusion in our culture. There is a way to do life. It's to do life theologically and biblically. You don't see when you preach about the voice, what immediately begins to happen with people is they take their life situation and they look through their life situation and they evaluate the Bible as to whether it's true or not. You understand that? Doing life theologically is to take the Bible and look through the Bible at life so that whatever happens in our life is interpreted through the Bible, through the revelation of God's Word. There is a place to be tethered in this world to objective truth. You voted this week on the class size amendment in the Florida vote. Now, I'd been loved to quiz you and ask on what theological propositions did you base your vote? You said I didn't realize there was a theological issue. Everything is. Everything is. All of what is lived that way. I've got a letter one time from someone angry in the church and they said, you know, I can't believe that you're opposed to fetal experimentation and fetal tissue harvesting. This has great promise for Alzheimer's patients and for research and listen, we're not pragmatists. We don't choose to do that which works or that which feels good. We believe there's such a thing as revealed truth. God has spoken. He's revealed to himself and we look at all life through that. What about vegetable? You don't even know what that is. That's dancing vegetables. What do you think about the fact that they depict biblical prophets as dancing vegetables? What's your theological position on that? Well, I'm being a little proficient but I want you to understand all of life. Paul demonstrates for us looking at all of life. So when he deals with questions, when they come to him and says, what about sex in this situation? What about the worst of this situation? He doesn't sit there and go, well, let's just share with you how I feel. No. It takes the wisdom of God's word and through God's word he looks at their questions and then leads them into eternal truth. That's the way to do life. That's the way, by the way, to teach your children to do life. What else is the dinner table for? You see, that's how you disciple your children, whether you're watching a football game with them, whether you're on vacation together, whether you're hiking in the woods, whether you're putting them at bed at night, you're processing all of life through the revealed word of God. So let's do that together. Okay, let's practice it. Take your sermon outline, and we're going to practice straight talk, theological reflection on first subject in this passage, sex in marriage. Okay? Straight talk on sex in marriage. Now, here's the situation. In Corinth, I told you of this last week, a little if you were here. In Corinth, people were of the mindset, there were a body of people that were of the mindset that said, sex is earthly and fleshly. And we are now Christians. We have the Holy Spirit. We are spiritual beings. The body is evil. The spirit is good. God is going to destroy the body. The spirit is going to live forever. So if sex is of the body, then it's got to be evil. And Christians shouldn't have anything to do with that sort of thing anymore. The truly devoted would be done with sexuality. I mean, they were saying to Paul, and this is what verse 1 says. Remember, if you were here last week, Paul's quoting their slogan. And one of their slogans would be, it's not good for a man to touch a woman. Now, touch doesn't, is a euphemism. It's not good for a man to be sexually intimate with a woman. That's not what Paul's saying. That's what they're saying. You understand that? Or this passage will be confusing to you. That's what they're saying. He's quoting their argument. It's a good for a man to touch a woman. They would have said, isn't a radical aesthetic life of abstinence the true spiritual life? And you see, if it is, then not only should the married not have sexual relations, but they should actually get divorced. Because isn't it true that in heaven there'll be no marrying and giving and marriage? And so that's going to be true in heaven. Let's go ahead and get started now. So not only were they discussing the fact that there shouldn't be sex and marriage, but there shouldn't even be marriage if you were a Christian. This is what Paul's responding to. You're not really going to understand his answers unless you understand the question. Now, by the way, this is not a treatise on marriage. This is not a sermon. It's going to cover everything that needs to be said about sexuality and marriage. Or everything that needs to be said about divorce. Paul's answering these specific questions. So what's Paul's answer to them? I'll say, isn't it better for a man not to touch a woman? I mean, would it be true that the truly spiritual would have stained for many of that kind of activity? And what's Paul's response? No. Oh, it wouldn't be so. Verse five, what does he say? Stop what? Stop depriving one another. Sexual abstinence is not God pleasing. It is God defying. Look at verse two. Because of immorality, Paul says, let each man have, now again, there's a euphemism. If you remember earlier in Corinthians, he said, there's a man in the church who has his father's wife. The word have here again refers to sexual intimacy. He says, let each man have sexual intimacy with his own wife and let each woman have sexual intimacy with her own husband. Paul says there is to be no abstaining from sexual relations and marriage except, verse five, right? Except for a brief, mutually agreed upon time that would be devoted to fasting. In other words, if you were fasting from it for the purpose of prayer and spiritual growth, that's the only exception Paul mentions. Got it? Now why does Paul say that? Sexual intimacy stops depriving. That's a strong word he uses. It actually means to deprive is in a sense to take something away from someone which they have a right to. It's theirs. In a sense it belongs to them. Stop it, he says. Stop depriving one another. I don't want that at all. It's not pleasing to God at all. Here's the question. What's the rationale? Why is it important that sexual intimacy continue? Well, we're just real quickly. One, it's to fulfill the creation mandate, right? What's the creation mandate? Very first page in the Bible. God says to Adam and Eve, I want you to what? Be fruitful and multiply. You are not going to be fruitful and multiply unless you are sexually intimate. We are made in the image of God. One of the things that God is is he is the what? He is the creator. He made us to create. He wants us to create. When we create, when children are born, they are not only a gift from God, they are in honor to God. They honor him because his creatures are then reflecting his image and being creative themselves. Having children pleases God. Number one, why should couples be sexually active with one another in the bonds of marriage for the creation mandate? Second is to prevent immorality. Okay? To prevent immorality. Look at what it says in verse two. Each man should have his own life. Each wife should have her own husband because of what? What does it say? Do you have your Bible open? Because of immorality, right? Look at verse five, what does it say? Stop depriving one another. Less what? Devote yourself to prayer. Stop depriving one another for a brief time and then come together again. Let Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control. The spouse who had hold sexual intimacy is certainly aiding the evil one in the tempting of the partner. Paul says one of the keys to sexual purity is to be married. And to have a wonderful sexual time with your spouse. Get her first nine. Paul says, I wish that everyone had the gift I have. Paul's been married is now widower. He has self-control. He says, but if you don't have self-control, then you'd better get married because I'd rather you be married than you'd be visiting the... What were they doing in Florence in the number last week? The prostitution was widespread. Paul says, that's not it. So, we know that the full fill the creation mandate to prevent immorality. Our reasons that couples should continue to be sexually active. Let me just take a little aside here. What is the key to sexual purity and culture? So important to realize it is not legalism. It is not rules. It is not legislation. Here's a principle I want you to learn. And I really want you to think about it. And I want you just to see if it isn't born out in your own experience in the years to come. Legalism breeds license. Legalism breeds licentiousness. Legalism fails to produce the one thing it intends to produce, which is obedient. And in fact, tends to produce a gross licentiousness. There are some who believe that the way to address the fact that our culture is sexually course, is you know if we had more restrictions on TV, more restrictions on movies, if women dress more moderately, if we didn't let the kids dance, you know whatever, you know how it goes, then we could make people more holy. People raised in tea-todalling denominations are three times more likely to be alcoholic than people who are not. The children of legalists, typically there's a tremendous strain of licentiousness that visits the children of legalists. It's like this. You can't address the outside and not address the inside, the inside, the problem, not the outside. Jesus said this constantly, didn't he? The Pharisees had all these rules and all this, I remember Tony Campola used to go to churches and he would say there's 10,000 people dying of hunger in the world today and he pointed to his finger out and said, you don't give a damn. He didn't actually say the word damn, he said a worse word. But I'm not brave enough. It's close, but not enough. Just what he'd say, if 10,000 people dying of hunger every day and you don't give a damn and he said, you know the problem with you is, you're more concerned about the fact that I said damn than there are the 10,000 people dying of hunger, that's legalism. And the word he used, believe me, it shocks people. But you're more concerned about the word you came out of my mouth and the 10,000 people are dying. What do you think Father's Godmore? Samuel II was a reformer. He hated the way the crazy folk in England were being treated, they were put in asylum and they were chained to the wall and they were beaten to try to get the evil spirits out of them. This is in the 19th century. So you know what he did? He took the people from the asylum and he began to train them how to dress a better hygiene, how to behave at tea parties and in church. And so then they could meld into society, but guess what? They were just as troubled on the inside. His whole reform was based on let's repaint the outside of the building, even if the inside is utterly corrupt. So understand, as we look at this and his Paul would be talking to the Corinthians, it is better for a man not to touch a woman. That's the way to live. No, it's not the way to live. It's not the way to sexual authority is gospel sexuality. It's to have a riotously good sexual experience in the bonds of marriage. Now one last thing on this subject in the most important, what do we say Paul says? No, you can't abstain from sex and marriage because of procreation because it's a preventative, to immorality, but thirdly, because it defies the very purpose of marriage. The purpose of marriage is, marriage is a vocation of self-denial. When you enter into a marriage, your intent is to serve the other person to make their interest primary to you. I want you to see something utterly radical in 1 Corinthians chapter 7. It's in verse 4. Paul presents a paradigm shattering vision of marriage as a relationship in which the partners are bonded together in mutual submission. Think of the ancient world. What would have been the issue in the ancient world? The way it would have been male dominance of the woman, right? The woman didn't have any rights, she was property. She did what she was told. In a modern world, in much of the third world, that's still the case, but in our culture, issue isn't male dominance primarily. The issue is mutual independence. I have my car, I have my job, I have my life, I have my bank account, I have my, and if this marriage doesn't meet my needs, I'll go my own way because I need my own things and I need my own and I can do it without you. Two lives often living in complete, nothing intermingled at all. Look at the picture Paul presents in verse 4. The wife does not have authority over her own body. Now, in the ancient world, that wouldn't have been a big surprise, right? Everybody would have understood that. Nobody ever said anything like this. And the husband does not have authority over his own body. Who dies? Who dies? Who is authority over the body of the husband? Nobody ever said anything like that. This is a grand vision unknown in the world. This vision of husband and wife in a mutual relationship, mutually submissive to one another. Both of them denying their own rights, denying their marriage is here for me and committing themselves to a radical vision of serving one another. This is why there's not to be any abstinence in marriage because sexuality is expressing an act of service to one's partner. Sex is not the husband's privilege and the wife's obligation. Sex may not be used as a manipulative tool. I have what you want, and you won't get it until you do what I want. Now, sex is the abandonment of self for the glory of God and the good of your partner. Michael Mason writes, listen to this. It is the work of giving our naked body back to the creator through the only practical means that is available to us, which is the revealing and presenting of ourselves to another person in love. The only way to demonstrate literally that something is not ours is to give it away. The free and loving exchange of nakedness that takes place between a husband and wife is just one of the spectacular ways in which the divine ordinance of holy matrimony actually sets about to reverse the curses of original sin. Listen to this. Marriage attacks original sin in effect at its visible root, in the shame of nakedness, in the shame of nakedness, and defeats and heals the shame by directly confronting it on the safe and holy ground of a covenant relationship. For a husband and wife to be naked together is like a kind of radiation treatment, the healing rays of which can be felt at the center of the soul. They said the higher life was an abstinence. That's the higher spiritual life. Paul says, no, the higher spiritual life is to abandon yourself and serve your spouse, which includes full participation in sexual intimacy. All right, got that? Second question. So they said, if you're not supposed to, if sex is bad, then we shouldn't have that. And then it also led to this question about divorce. Well then, should we see being married? Should we not be married to unbelievers? In the ancient world, the divorce was a man actually here, in the Jewish world, a Jewish man could divorce his wife for any cause. The woman had no right in that regard. In the Greek and Roman world, either the man or woman could divorce for no cause. But women never did because socioeconomically they would be utterly destroyed and helpless. So that's the situation. What's Paul's command? Look at verse 10 and 11. There's to be no initiation of divorce by believers. There's to be no initiation of divorce by believers. To do so is to defy God. Even if your spouse is an unbeliever, Paul says you are not to initiate divorce. Now what does Paul say? Look at verse 10. He said, to the married, I give instruction, not I, but the Lord. That is a mean that my instruction is worth less. He's just saying you remember. Jesus is spoken to this directly, hasn't he? And so in Matthew 5 and in Matthew 19, Jesus said, have you not read? He created them from the beginning, made them male and female. For this cause of man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh. Consequently, they are no longer two, but one flesh and what therefore has joined together, let no man put a sunder. Divorce for the believer is not to be initiated by the believer, but their two exceptions. Got it? Good exception. Jesus gives us the first. Matthew 19, what does he say? Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, but there's a little clause in there, what does it say? Whoever divorces his wife except for, the word in the Greek is pornea, except for immorality, separate adultery. There's an exception. If the believer's wife, if the believer's husband is guilty of infidelity, the believer can initiate a divorce. Second exception is found right here in 1 Corinthians 7 and 15. What does it say? If the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave. If you're married to an unbeliever and they wish to remain married to you, stay in the marriage. But if the unbeliever leaves, let them leave. Hey, this is a wild, randy, sexually charged city, and suddenly your wife comes home and says, I'm a Christian now. What do you think that unbelieving man would do? I don't care what you are. If we're going through the orgy on Friday night, you're coming. And she says, no, I'm not. And he says, listen, make a choice. Because my wife is going to be involved in the sexual practices that I am, you make a choice. And if you're going to choose this Jesus, then I'm out of here. And what does Paul say? This could be your first loyalty. If the unbelieving spouse will not live with you because you're a Christian, then let them go. In most cases, when the spouses converted, they'll be a better husband or a better wife than they were before. But the unbeliever may not think so. And they may wish to leave and they may wish to dissolve the marriage. And if they do, then let them go. Now, here's the point. And we'll finish with this. Why? Why are God's people not to initiate divorce? Well, there's so many reasons. You know how the arguments go. People start with arguments like this very often when they want to get divorced, they say, I want to be rid of this wife or rid of this husband because my life will work better because I want to be loved because I want to have intimacy. I deserve better. They'll say things like that. Now, if you've been in the church a long time, then that's kind of the awfully self-centered. So you start saying things like this. They've been in church. God wouldn't want me to be unhappy. God wouldn't want this marriage dishonors God. It's not according to his design. This isn't what he designed. And so this marriage is dishonoring to God. And God has something better planned. And it's God's will for me to get divorced. It's better for the kids. But what does the Bible say? God's children are not to initiate divorce except for those exceptions we mentioned because it denies the gospel. You've got to be worth writing down. It denies the gospel. The person who initiates divorce and says, I need a new spouse. They don't have those exceptions aren't in place. It's saying, I need a husband or wife more than I need Jesus. Jesus is not enough. That's the core problem. Jesus is not enough. I need a better spouse. Denies the gospel. Second, it denies the power of the gospel. To transform a marriage or to transform a spouse. The divorce denies the power of the gospel. Listen. Paul says in verse 14 and verse 16, what? Do you not know if you say in this marriage, isn't that possible that your spouse will be saved by your influence? There's a sanctifying effect. He says the the unbeliever is not. It's a defiling for the believer, but the believer's effect may powerfully affect the unbeliever. Christians have no place that a Christian can never say that any relationship is irreconcilable as far as they're concerned. How could a Christian ever say that? The most alienated relationship you've ever been in with your relationship with who? With who? With God. That's been reconciled. If you really understand the depth to which you were alienated from God and you've been reconciled to God, then look at Paul. Paul of all people was outkilling Christian. When his heart was struck, his life was transformed. Totally made new. And so to walk away from a marriage that isn't working very well, denies the gospel. Jesus isn't enough. I need a spouse instead. It denies the power of the gospel to transform the Christian off to have great hope for the work of God in their household. Third, a particular marriage that doesn't work shortcuts to the designer's plan. What's God's plan? He often puts us in situations that are difficult, hard, and painful. The notion is a North American folk religion notion. It's not a Christian notion that God wants your life to work. Very often, God doesn't want your life to work. You know why? Because then he would only be confirming you in your pathway of idolatry. He wants you to see that the path on your life is not proper. And so he brings your life a crapper all the time. Because whom the Lord loves, he what? He chases. He disciplines. And so when you walk away from the pain of a difficult marriage, you may escape the pain for a temporary time. Life might be easier for a while. But the disease of self-love that God wanted to root out of you will remain. And that's a much worse problem than your marriage ever was. But that's a hard teaching. That's a hard teaching. I'm going to tell you something. God loves his children. And sometimes he lets their marriages be crummy. Oh, let's just change what I just said. He always lets their marriages be crummy. If your marriage has never been crummy, then my goodness, why aren't you writing a book? Help the rest of us. What is marriage? What's the laboratory in which God wants us to meet Him? And to meet failure and difficulty and challenge? Listen, what's the very first thing that happens when man sends Adam and Eve are separated? Adam and Eve are alienated. Adam and Eve are apart. This whole process of male and female relating together in a loving relationship, I mean, you're taking on sin. You're taking on original sin. You're taking on the fall of man to try to forge a harmonious relationship. Of course, it's going to be hard. Every one of them are hard. There isn't any fairy tale marriage. I want you in there because he's got stuff to teach you. And those lessons are precious. In the last reason we don't walk away when marriage is difficult and hard, is it distorts the picture that marriage is to project of God's fidelity to us? Marriage is not principally about our passion and our resolve, but it's about God's passion and God's resolve. God's love is unchanging, unwavering. Our marriages are to be a picture of what marriage, right? See, the first, the passion of the Christian is God, take my life and use it for fuel for your fire. God, howl would be your name, thy kingdom come, thy glory. That's my passion, your glory. So use my marriage as a picture of who you are. That's what marriage is principally for to stand as a testimony, a picture of the unfaithful, unchanging, unwavering love of God for his bride, which is you. So when you walk away, what do you say about your God? What do you say about your husband? God doesn't walk away. He didn't walk away. I think that earthquake in Italy, you read the stories this week, 20, 25 kids died, and one adult, one teacher who stayed in that building, getting kids out and she died. That's the picture of God. That's the picture of the sacrificial love of God who doesn't run in the face of danger. He lays down his life for his bride. This is a hard thing. You see, what I've said at the very beginning of this service is true. We will never reflect that kind of faithful love until we understand that we have received it. We've received it. We will never give to a spouse. Listen, there is not a deserving spouse. I will give my wife what they're owed. I'll give my husband what he earns. Oh my, no, no, no. I will reflect the treatment that I have received from God. I deserve nothing. God has never had a worse spouse than me. And yet he never leaves me. He never forsakes me. He never fails me. He always pursues me. He always loves me. Having tasted of that from God, the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. As we taste that, we can give it to our spouse. Till death, do us part. Just say it, the Lord. Take your worship order. Would you? You know, sometimes we look at life and some folks in this room look at life and don't say, hey, listen, if you were in my marriage, you wouldn't say what you just said. No, no, no, no. Take the word of God and look through the word of God.