Let me ask you to first turn in your scriptures to 1 Corinthians chapter 7, as we lay some groundwork for a look at marriage. And I'll have to confess that it's somewhat of a relief to be dealing with this today, and the study of what we will present next week, in which I'm very anxious to present to you next week concerning the person of Satan. As you might imagine, it is quite a heavy topic, and it is quite a heavy study, and it is important for us to know. And again, I am anxious to come and disclose to you what the Scripture would teach us about this great adversary of Christ in his church. So it is with some relief today that we're able to deal with the topic, which would seem to be a bit lighter. But then as we begin to contemplate that each one of us have come from a family, or are involved in a family, each one of us has either contemplated marriage, have been involved in a difficult marriage, have lost marriage, or are married, then we see that even this today could become quite a heavy topic for our understanding and dealing with. But let's begin with 1 John chapter 7. You probably have a header in your Bible that says simply principles for marriage, and indeed we find some principles in marriage. But as I read this chapter, I find that it is more principles for not getting married, than it is actually principles for marriage. But I thought it's important for us to deal here to get some perspective on the place of marriage in the Christian life before we move to Ephesians chapter 5 to talk about the roles of marriage in the Christian life. Let's begin together from the first verse of chapter 7, 1 Corinthians chapter 7. Listen for it is God who speaks to us. Now concerning the matters about which you wrote, it is good for a man to have, not to have, sexual relations with a woman. But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer. But then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Now here, I would note that even in this passage we find this issue of Satan's work against us and against our marriages and against our relationships to be mentioned. But I'd also refer to you, refer you rather to 2 Timothy 3, 2, and I'll read that for you. This is a verse which describes the difficulties of the times in which we live. Let me read for you 2 Timothy 3 verse 2. Understand this, that in the last days, there will come times of difficulty. And for people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure, rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness but denying its power. When you begin to combine some of these terrible traits of people in the last time, for example, lovers of self, lovers of pleasure, ungrateful, disobedient, you find here a composite of a people who are what we call narcissistic in our generation. That is, what most of us went through as young teenagers, that is, you go to the get your shower in the morning and you stand in front of the mirror and you primp and you primp, and I know that the ladies will spend some time in those early teenage years, and I know they don't do it later, spending a great deal of time preparing and getting themselves ready, and the boys not dealing hopefully with makeup, what do they do in there? Well, they make sure that if they stand at a certain angle, it shows forth whatever they're working on trying to chisel on their body so that they know just how to stand at just the right time and where they can pull their arm back so that it causes them to accentuate a little bit more than they actually have, and so they'll work and practice looking at themselves so that they can be pleased with themselves, never really knowing that nobody else is looking, but nevertheless, spending hours working on that consumed with self. It's all self, self thought, self love, and selfishness. Now, if we take that profile, and we begin to talk about who that person might marry, who will you wish them upon? Who are you going to give this person to, and yet, that's where we are without the work of Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit to transform us, that's just who we are. Lovers of pleasure, our time is our own, and we waste most of it. Play self concern, our mind ponders constantly over how can we be happy because our world has collapsed upon ourselves. Now, what type of fitness does this individual have to be betrothed to someone else? Paul is giving a warning as we continue here because he's saying essentially if you have to get married, well then go ahead. But only if you have to, don't look for it, only do it if you have to as a concession for your weakness. Now, why? Why? When we grow up all our lives thinking that that's the crowning good of all of life, is to have our very own spouse, why would Paul frame it in such a way? Let's continue. Verse 6. Now, as a concession, he says, not a command, I say this, I wish that all were as I myself am, but each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. Here's Paul is saying, well, you might have to get married, but me, I've got to give from God. I don't have to do that because I'm especially gifted from God. Well, how contrary to the testimony or the word of this present generation and of the generations before? Verse 8. To the unmarried and the widows, I say that it's good for them to remain single as I am, but if they cannot exercise self-control, wow, it's good to remain single, but if you just have no self-control, well now there's an admonition for marriage. If you lack self-control, you ought to get married. If they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry for it's better to marry than to be a flame with passion. Well, again, I'll take you back to your years of puberty and you were a flame with all kinds of things and probably passion was one of them. And so we find that the relations in that period of life can be very volatile, but let's observe very realistically that the day in which we live finds the maturity of most adults to be about the sophomore year of high school. Cut on your television. What's the humor? Stuff that you thought you left when you turned 20, but it's now adult humor, and we're supposed to still think it's funny. It's soft, morick, immature, humor. And so we find this a flame with passion to still reside in people who are supposedly now maturing out of it. To the married, I give this charge, not I, but the Lord. The wife should not separate from her husband, but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband and the husband should not divorce his wife. He goes on to say, essentially, if you become married, then you need to stay married as it tells us in the scripture's God hates divorce. But to the rest, I say that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and if she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. He goes on here to talk about how a family sanctified through a believer in the household. And so we understand our covenant baptisms, oftentimes a woman usually, it could be a man, but a woman will bring a child for covenant baptism, even when her husband is not in attendance in the church and is not faithful. And we do not discourage that because if there is a believer in the household, then God's promise is, as we would read in the following passages, that he blesses and he sanctifies that family on account of the righteousness of that believer who is righteous in Christ. He continues on in 17 and following to encourage them. However it is that you are called to Christ, whatever your state, whether you are slave or free, whether you were married or single, be content that God loved you and called you in that state, be content in that state until God calls you to another. And so he calls us in that and we should be satisfied that we are free in Christ and that we should serve God accordingly. Let's go to verse 25 and there are some interesting passages that follow. Now concerning the betrothed, that is the rest of us, I suppose the weak ones that had to get married, I have no command from the Lord but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. Just worthy, wise counsel is what Paul is giving us. I think that in view of the present distress, it is good for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Well now there's a way to put it, isn't it? Are you stuck with a woman? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, well now here's a consolation, you have not sinned. Well if you did get married, he's saying, let me assure you, you actually have sinned and getting married. And if a betrothed woman marries, well she has it sinned either. Yet those who marry and here is the important point, yet those who marry will have worldly troubles and I would spare you that. After all of the humor and after all of the light-hearted treatment, here is the very serious tone which Paul is now addressing. If you do get married, you will have other obligations and commitments and worldly troubles. You will have financial concerns, you will have relational issues, you will have child rearing issues, which will take away from your time and your energy which a person unmarried is giving in service to the Lord. Now that doesn't mean that God is not, as we're going to see, blessed and approved of marriage. But if Paul is saying, if God has called you in your singleness to serve the Lord, then you need to know that if you marry, it's not a sin because he's just told them to remain in the condition they were in. So we asked and now say it's not a sin to be married. However, you need to know that no longer will you have a single-minded purpose of serving the Lord. You will now have worldly issues of support, of supply, of time commitment that will draw down your ability to serve the Lord as a married person. Now this lays a foundation for us because when we begin to talk about marriage, we see that marriage does not superimpose itself over or displace our service to God. Whether single or married, we are still called to serve the Lord. And in the context of how Paul is describing it, and remember here, he's not teaching here on the blessed estate of marriage, he's here talking primarily to those who are needing to remain as they are called. What he is saying here is that whatever the worldly incumbents should be, you need to not let it take away from your service of God and make it the center of your life. Now with that being said, it would almost sound as if I would be speaking against marriage, but I am not. Let's turn together to Ephesians 5. Many of you have been attending some of the marriage ceremonies we have been able to celebrate here, and certainly if you were married, then you heard something like this. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the presence of God to join this man and this woman in holy marriage, which is instituted of God. Our first principle would be that marriage itself is instituted of God, so therefore it is good, and it is holy, and it is calling, as I think Paul has clearly shown to us. It is not to be entered into frivolously, or as some sort of an emotional or passionate pursuit, it is calling to be married, and you need to recognize that. It is regulated by his commandments. It is not hours to do with as we please. It is regulated by his commandments. You want to be married, you probably should read the rulebook first. How many of you when you bought your car, your first car is a new car, before you took off on the road, pulled out the owner's manual to read through to make sure that you knew all the things you were supposed to do before you hit the road. Not many of us, how many of us treat marriage the same way. We decide to get married and then we get married, and then when troubles come around, then we go in for counseling, or we support a book, we look at the trouble manual, we don't look at the operations manual. The operations manual is what we have in Ephesians 5. Also written by Paul, the same man who we just read in 1 Corinthians, regulated by his commandments, blessed by our Lord Jesus Christ, how important is it to remember that our marriages are not simply an aside, but blessed by the Lord Jesus Christ, and to be held in honor among all men. Again, how many of us honor marriage? How many of us honor others' marriages? There are jokes that abound about marriage, aren't there? There's one that says that there are four rings in marriage, the engagement ring, there's the wedding ring, there is the suffer ring, and then the endure ring, is that honoring to marriage? Or is that sort of belittling marriage as it goes? Well, it's a great philosopher, Socrates, he said, by all means, Mary, if you get a good wife, you'll be happy, and if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Well, these are interesting, but how is it that we honor marriage? How is it that we uphold marriage? How can you honor my marriage? How can I honor your marriage in life? To honor marriage, and reverently remember that God has established and sanctified marriage for the welfare and happiness of mankind. Our Savior declared that a man should leave his father and mother, cleave him to his wife by his apostles. He has instructed those who enter into this relation to cherish and mutual esteem and love, to bear with each other's infirmities and weaknesses, to comfort each other in sickness, trouble, and sorrow, and honestly an industry to provide for each other, for their household and temple things, to pray for and encourage each other in things which pertain to God and to live together, as heirs of a grace of life. What a calling that a husband and a wife have to live together as joint heirs to the grace of life. All of the orientation and my reason for reading and bringing to remembrance the beginning of a marriage ceremony which we've heard countless times many of us, is to help us remember as we begin that the whole focal point of marriage is not own ourselves. Remember the warning that we read and were reminded of in second Timothy. Life is not about ourselves. It is not about gazing into the mirror like narcissists and thinking about only ourselves. It is not about looking for a spouse in order that we might be happy because if you are looking for a spouse to make you happy, you will never be happy. Ever. That's not the orientation and focus of marriage. It is not to have someone to walk through life with. You have your brothers and your sisters in Christ to walk through life with. You have Christ Himself to walk through life with you. So what then is the purpose and the focus of marriage? The language of family is the language of heaven. The economy of the family shows the economy of the Trinity. The language of the church is the language of the family. There is a father and there is a husband and there is a wife and there is a bride and a bridegroom. These are all language that is used to describe Christ and His church. The bridegroom who comes for the bride, our father which are in heaven and His holy son. And so as these languages which we share reflect on one another. Marriage is to show forth as a model of the economy of God, the holiness of God and the relationships of marriage and the attributes of marriage that is the love and yes, the subjection of one to another and of a wife to a husband is also to show the economy of the relationship. Between the father and the son and the Holy Spirit. Let's read now in Ephesians chapter 5. First verses will read verses 1 through 2 and then I'll go to verse 22 and following. Therefore the imitators of God as beloved children and walk in love as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Here is the foundation for our approach to understanding marriage. We are to be imitators of God. We can't be imitators of men and we can't mold and shape our own life and also be imitators of God. To be an imitator of God to have the mind of Christ which Philippians 2 exhorts us to do, commands us to do. To die to self and live to Christ we can't also have dualistically another life that is a married life that is shaped after the world. Which is what many of our marriages are being pressed into a mold to be shaped after is the world versus 22. Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ the head of the church his body and as Himself it's Savior. In 1 Corinthians 11 verse 3 Paul teaches but I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ and the head of a wife is her husband and the head of Christ is God. What we have established is this economic relationship what does it mean economic relationship we know the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are equal in power and authority and glory that the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are three persons. But one essence one God so which one is more valuable which one is more powerful which one is to be more worshiped and respected than the other none. All three share and power all three share glory all three share and honor and yet Christ said I cannot to do my will but the Father who sent me and so Christ has subjected Himself to the Father's will. There is an economic relationship and Christ said that I must go that the Holy Spirit will come to you the Holy Spirit would not come until Christ ascended to the Father and sent the Holy Spirit the Father would send the Holy Spirit. So there was a dependency from the Spirit on Christ so we have a Spirit serving in according to the work and the will of Christ. We have Christ and subjection to the Father and God the Father which is overall and yet they are all three one. We know that there is no longer Jew or Gentile we know that there is an equality between men and women who are in Christ that there is no sense of degradation to a woman when she is in Christ. And yet we understand that a household is a unique place of service and that the organization of a household is to reflect that economic unity and diversity of the Trinity and of heaven itself and of His church. Yes, we are to be in service to one another but uniquely these first verses teach us that a wife is subject to her husband. Now what does it mean that wives are to submit to their husbands. I often joke that at this point I would have the men put their fingers in their ears because when we say that wives are to be subject to their husbands it seems to infer they are therefore husbands should rule over their wives but there is no such inference made. And husbands being weak in the flesh as we are we like to fill in the blank for the preacher. Now when he says wives be subject to your husbands they like to nudge the wife and let them know I heard that you are supposed to be subject to me and all things. The reason the wives don't plug their ears is because this teaching is contrary and for 21st century ears it is burdensome. Let me explain. The wives submit to your husbands the word Hupoteso in the Greek for submit does mean just that there is no colored meaning there is no easier translation here. That is the same word used in extra biblical writing of the same time when it talks about a military arrangement or military ranking system and it says that a soldier is to be submissive to the commands of the officer which is over him. So this word is cut and dry and it is absolute that the wife should submit to her husband but since it goes on to say even before the husbands had the wife even as Christ had the church his body we now understand the wife's role to mirror that of the church and while we will come to see in a moment that Christ and the father rather in the home and the husband in the home is to be the one manifesting those attributes and qualities of Christ likeness and be the priest of his home. Shouldn't we also then see how Christ is subject to the father the church is subject to Christ and so the wife is subject to the husband do we want the church's subject to Christ to be watered down or anything less than absolute. Do we think that the church could be anything other than subject to Christ and so we find the same word that is used to talk about the wife's relationship to her husband. Why would this have to be commanded why is this commanded will if we go back to Genesis and we go back to the time of the fall what was part of the curse besides the child bearing. Was that the woman's desire would be for her husband now the word desire for us because we are a second Timothy three two generation and we are all bent on pleasure and self interest in which consumed with self and our bodies and everything that goes with our stomach. And all that goes with life of enjoyment and pleasure we hear the word desire and we assume that some sort of a pleasurable sense now what kind of curse is that your desire will be for your husband if that was the case Adam at that point will be looking over and going now that's just not fair. I've got to toil by the sweat of my brow and all she will have is a sexual interest in pursuit of me. That's not a curse that's heavy to bear that's not what the sense of the word means that word desire is the same word it means your desire will be for the place of your desire will be to put it in modern parlance to displace your husband and to assume his place in authority. This desire will be after your husband's position now do I have to spend a whole lot of time going through recent history of the last 60 years to demonstrate that in fact we can see along with the other attributes of our second Timothy three two that this is clearly manifest in society today. Her desire will be for her husband to displace him so Paul says counter to that you will be submissive to him you'll be submissive to your husband because he has been appointed as head of the house. The husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is head of the church now as the church submits to Christ so also wife should submit and everything to their husbands. Let me perhaps help the wives a bit your submission to your husband is not because of his worth your submission to your husband is not because of his great wisdom your submission to your husband is because it is a command of God. It is obedience to God it is your being obedient to the commands of your Heavenly Father that you are submissive to your husband there are many husbands who which if we were to judge them based on some objective criteria we would turn around and say well that rascal is hardly worth following anywhere but yet we need to tell our daughters before you marry someone you make sure that you can live in subjection to this man because as an obedient act to God you are now bound by vow and by oath to the scriptural mandates and commands of God that you would be subject to him. So if you struggle with that please don't give your word that you will before God calling him his witness but once that is done be subject to your husbands now that was the easy part of the passage. The second part is for the husbands and I would not instruct the ladies to plug their ears here but the husbands need to have their fingers pulled out at this point. Husbands love your wives well that is easy isn't it. After all we can love we love ball games and pizza and hot dogs and cars and sports we can love our wives too we just add them to the list. Love your wives as Christ love the church that is a little different that word love there are four words in the Greek. Perhaps I probably mentioned them before but they are worth repeating. Four words in the Greek that can be used for love. One is fillet oh we get the word fillet delfia the city of brotherly love and that is just what that sort of love is. It is very strong love it is found very frequently in the Bible it is used and translated as love often the king James version however doesn't use or will translate the word love but agape which is the last one I will describe. The king James translates as charity for reasons I will explain. Friendship or mutual love it is a love that gives a love that takes this fillet oh love. It can be strained a great deal without breaking but ultimately if there is no reciprocating act of love then the fillet oh love will fail but it can go great distances. It is a great distance it is a wonderful and it is a strong love and I would submit to you that it is the love manifest in most of the marriages which you know. The second one is eros obviously we get the word erotic it is a sensual love this is a taking love it is an all about me kind of love. I want to be married because I have needs I want to be married because of what you do for me I want to be married because of me and I am just looking for someone who is willing. That is eros love and that kind of self love that sort of taking love just like if you keep going to the bank and making withdrawals will eventually bankrupt the relationship that it is involved in. That is the word. Sturge love it is a maternal love I have often said in Jess that as soon as a baby is born the father is staring and they are looking and often will be sort of taken aback by this humanoid form that is just emerged amid blood and liquid shriveled and wrinkled and sometimes gray with this ugly tube attached to his stomach but the mother when she looks down says what a beautiful baby. Only a mother's love sees that baby as beautiful now father can be proud and tickled pink and can be can just love that child but it takes us a minute but from the very moment the child emerges there is a maternal instinctual love that takes place. What is tragic and should be reserved for another day is that we can unlearn this and we can teach our young ladies not to have this kind of love whether it is through abortion or infanticide or whether it is through simply the disposable nature of our children whether it be the use of daycares or whatever you want to call it or whatever you want to be. The fact that we have worked so hard and we have as a society to make sure a mother does not feel an obligation to stay with to continue to cuddle or to love her child but feels free to go and do whatever she wants from the moment practically the child is born we can learn not to have this sturge or this instinctual love. And then finally the word that's used here and the word that was used in the first verses that we read when it says walk in love as Christ loved us agape. Agape love is a selfless love it is a giving love it is a sacrificial love it is an unconditional love it's the love that Christ showed on the cross when he was hanging on the cross and dying and he prayed for those who put him there saying father forgive them they know not what they do. It's the love that Christ shared when he was at the table with his apostles or with the disciples and he poured a poured the drink into the cup and said this is a new covenant which is in my blood which is given for you take and as often as you do think of me. That kind of a love that loves even his enemies that kind of a love that can love those who crucified him that kind of a love that stayed true to his calling and true to his work. For the sake of those who hated him to the very end always giving and never with resentment that gentleman is the love for your wife you are commanded to have. Now I ask you which one of your brides would not promise to you absolute unquestionable submission if you love with this kind of love. If you loved so unconditionally what woman would not want to be the bride of a man with that kind of love. Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of the water with the word. Gentlemen again we find here mirrored the language of the scriptures with the language of life and marriage. You called your wife out from all of the women that we pretend we could have called on. We like to think we had our choice and you called this one especially out to be your bride sanctifying her from all the rest separating her out as special to you. You called her out and you called her your own washing away as it were all that was before and now coming together to make one flesh two people passing away and becoming one flesh something new a new creation so that he might present the church to himself and splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish. Christ maintains a stewardship of his church he maintains a spiritual work in his church husbands continue a spiritual stewardship of their wives making sure they are spiritually nourished making sure that they have opportunity to worship and to serve and to follow the living God making sure that they are always advancing in the calls of Christ under the teaching of God's word never causing them to be hungry for the teaching of Christ. Serving is preaching their own homes serving the church of Jesus Christ and bringing their families to Christ in the same way we're told in verse 28 in that way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies he who loves his wife loves himself if you have a scratch if you have an itch rather you scratch when you're hungry you eat you care for your bodies you care for yourself you maintain yourself before you decide to get married young men you make sure that you're ready to do the same for your bride because that will be your calling. You make sure that you scratch where she itch is before you scratch where you itch you make sure that her place is set before your place is set. You make sure that her need and schedule is met before your need and your schedule is met and let people say what they will about your service to your wife who is supposed to be subject to you and you turn and say to them as Christ ministered and as he took a towel and he wrapped it around his waist and he washed Peter's feet so I served those I have a stewardship of because that is Christ's like service no one ever ate his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body the two become one flesh when you become a Christian you become a part of Christ's body and so we who become married become one flesh together. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. Now I just had a daughter to get married and it just dawned on me not long ago that the command for the son to leave is clear but thankfully there was no such command for the daughter. So we will have to renegotiate the post marriage contract to bring it in accordance with scriptural standards which would still give me plenty to say in all relations concerning marriage that's not true but it does command that the devotion and the commitment of a son to his biological family is severed as he now is head of his own family. Now that doesn't mean you don't honor your father and mother and it doesn't mean that you don't care for them even as they grow old and become in firm. It's not to say to be irresponsible but it's to say that now you are steward of your own family and that is your first obligation because you are accountable for God before God. This mystery is profound, this two becoming one flesh and I'm saying that it refers to Christ in the church. So here again we're reminded that marriage and the family is analogous to the church and Christ is to help us understand the relationship between Christ and his church. The attributes of marriage should reflect and mirror the attributes of Christ in his church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband. So Paul is very creative and after he goes through all of this instruction he says what I'm really talking about is the mystery of Christ in the church. But knowing that the wives would say so I don't really have to be that submissive and the men would say I don't really have to love that selflessly he says oh but wait, less than any of you be confused. I meant what I said let each one of you love his wife as himself and let's see the wife respects her husband respects his place respects his position respects his leadership role. And so we find in marriage then a sacred vocation there's no substitute for its product in society. And Ephesians 5 tells us that there's a great difference between what is now considered in vogue which is cohabitation and marriage. I want to end only with this by simply putting forth a little bit on that topic. The senator from Pennsylvania he's not a senator right now it'll come to me in a moment. He wrote this in his book on it takes a family I'll commend that to you. Today's conventional wisdom holds that cohabitation out of wedlock is better than harmless that it is a healthy way for a couple to test drive marriage. Some say it's better the marriage since people should be together only when they are in love with one another and we can never know how and whom we will love in the future of our lifelong love they say is just unrealistic. About half of all unmarried women between 25 and 39 have lived with a man whom they were not married to and about one quarter or currently living with a man without the benefit of marriage. Marriage is preceded by cohabitation or 50% more likely to end in divorce, however. Children growing up in cohabitation households have more emotional behavioral problems than in married households. Ephesians 5 which we have just studied together helps us to understand what those differences are. God has sanctioned marriage. God has called us in marriage. God has shown us that marriage is to be an object lesson and a teaching tool and environment to show forth the wonders of his relationship with his church through Jesus Christ who is our Lord. As Christ has loved the church so husbands are to love their wives and so the church itself is the body of Christ as supposed to relate to one another we have already studied many times over brothers love one another. The one word that sums up all of the commandments is love. Love is the supreme law of God. It is what we are called to do and be but only in Christ can we truly love as Christ has loved us. Selflessly, unconditionally shown to us on the cross, gentlemen if there is ever ever a need for you to see the love which you are to have to your wife. Look to the cross. You are to love her as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. Christ died that we would live. We set aside all of our own life in agenda because we have voluntarily vowed to care for and love another and wives. See that you respect your husbands and understand and be sympathetic to the accountability they have before God for their care of you.