Father, we ask that by your spirit, you will speak to us this evening. Help us to apply your words in our hearts and lives in Jesus' name, our name. For if somebody had a joke with me last week, that either the congregation would have, I said this this morning, sorry about that, either the congregation would have this evening because of the offense caused at speaking explicitly about sex from the pulpit, or it would double because we were talking about what everybody really wanted to talk about. Well today we move on in the song of songs. Last week we met a couple who were deeply in love. Today I called the sermon for those of you who follow the card, sexual longing. I was going to call next week the joy of sex, but then I thought, well, I'm not going to advertise that particular book from the pulpit at least. It's interesting isn't it? We find this whole subject, one that on the one hand in shrieks and on the other is something that is difficult to talk about. Interesting but sad, very sad, and I think we'll see why as the evening goes on. As we had that passage from chapter three, read for us this evening, the woman's love for her husband for her lover is intense. Verse one of chapter three, and I think you need your Bibles in front of you because we couldn't read the whole of the section I'm covering tonight, so on page 679, you'll need to be looking at songs of chapter two as well as chapter three. But chapter three verse one, all night long, I on my bed, I looked for the one my heart's love, I looked for him but did not find him, the Hebrew there probably doesn't mean so much as all night, as night after night I longed for him on my bed. Here was a woman longing for her marriage and for the consummation of that marriage through sexual intercourse, but let's step back a moment. Let's see the context because we finished it about chapter two verse seven last week. And you remember how in verse seven she had resisted the pressure of her friends. She had asked them not to arouse love until the time was right. Already she was distressed at being away from him for any period of time, but this was a time of courting. They were not married yet, but in chapter two verses eight to thirteen, we find the lovers now returning to the place where they first met to the countryside, leaving the palatial area of Solomon's throne and all the gold and the beauty and the pomp and circumstance of that and going back into the countryside. And she looks at her lover verses eight and nine and for her he's like a gazelle leaping across the mountains for those who weren't here last week, we talked about how weird some of the imagery is for us. Let me try and help you imagine to see what she's getting at here, add a few words to what she's saying. My beloved is graceful, free, full of energy like a gazelle or a young star. We get the sort of picture of what she's summing up here. Her lover has come to find her and he stood outside her window, gazing verse nine, the end of verse nine, gazing even peering through and at last she says, he spoke to me. At last what she's been waiting for, he spoke to her and in verse ten she tells us what she said, arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me, see the winter is past. The rains are over and gone, flowers appear on the earth, the season of singing has come. The cooling of doves is heard in our land. The fig tree forms its early fruit, the blossoming of vine, spread their fragrance, arise, come my darling, my beautiful one, come with me. For many years we lived in Cambridge. Now down there they do have summers and spring turning to summer in that town is the most wonderful time of year. Hot days brought everyone out into the parks and onto the greens and onto all those gardens in front of the colleges, particularly the students who have nothing better to do with their time than to fall in love, hire punts, take their girlfriends down the river and then out on the grass where the couples would tangle. There's unnecessarily obviously on the lawns, spring, a time of love, you simply can't miss it in a place like that, a time of love, a time of beauty, a time of freshness, openness, open air, this is the thing that he's conjuring up as he speaks to her. He's moved to spring, one writer called these verses, the most beautiful expression of spring love, found anywhere in the literature of the world. Don't forget that this is undoubtedly the most loved and best love poem ever written in the literature of the world. It has been studied by people who have no faith in God as simply beautiful poetry. For this couple in the song of songs, a year of courtship has passed, spring is coming and they're together again in the country enjoying its beauty and how heightened that beauty of creation is when you're in love. It's the excitement of that time that he grasps and he recounts to us in these verses, and it is that that brought him to seek her out and to speak of his love for her. Last week she'd longed for it, longed to see him, longed to embrace him you remember, spent time thinking about him, and now at last here he is, he's in front of her, he's talking to her, and then just briefly because it isn't until next week and after they're married that we really hear from him, but just briefly we hear from him again in this poem that belongs to him in verses 14 and 15. His love for her is building in its intensity too. He calls her his dove, he wants to see her face which for him is lovely. We talked about love being in the eye of the beholder very genuinely and beauty being in the eye of the beholder, the one you think is the most beautiful in the world, may not be the one someone else thinks is the most beautiful in the world. For him here she is the most beautiful, he listens to her voice and it's sweet to him at any rate. He also warns of the need, a strange little verse, this one, of the need to catch those little foxes that may intervene between them and disrupt their love, a strange expression, but these little foxes, the wild foxes would run through the crops and destroy crops, and he's thinking of the purity of their love, their vineyard, it's used to describe her in chapter 1. Temptations must be allowed to defile what is happening between these two people, how easy it is to have that defiling of the purity of love, peer pressure to do things that they don't want to do, temptations to hurt each other, temptations to pressure each other, temptations to say unnecessary things to each other, how often we do that. Things that come in and they begin to pull apart, they like those little foxes destroying the crops, they make paths through it, spoil its unity, spoil its perfection, and then in verse 16 and 17 we see her thinking again of the time she wants them to spend together, but it's in that context then that we move into her dream poem in chapter 3. This great dream of longing for sexual fulfillment. She dreams of looking for him in bed and not finding him, so she gets up, in her dream, and she wanders the streets looking for her lover, verse 3, I'll give it my own translation which I assure you is more accurate to the Hebrew. Have you seen the one who makes my heart frob? Have you seen the one who makes my heart frob?" she asks. And she imagines finding him, clinging to him, she'll never let him go again, and she takes him back to introduce him to her mother, and she thinks of marriage, verse 4, and the marriage she thinks of her own home and her mother and the place where she was conceived, and imagines perhaps taking him back to that very place where they too will consummate their marriage. And then in verse 5 suddenly again she comes back to reality, knowing that all of that yes is in the future. This is her longing, this is her dream, but it's in the future, do not arouse or awaken love until it's so desires. The wedding is shortly to happen. She's anticipating it with all its joy, chapter 3 verse 6, and onwards you'll see Solomon and we'll look at this in more detail next week, but Solomon comes in this great wedding procession, huge pomp and circumstance surrounding the wedding of the King. That is in the future, but what we have here before us tonight is a description of a love and desire of a couple for each other that is explicit, clear, and lovely. The Bible you see continues to show us here, this picture of sexual love as it should be. The couple do spend time together, they do get involved with each other, they love to look into each other's eyes, and yet they know that more awaits them than looking at faces and hearing each other's voices. This time of spring, the flourishing of love, and the ripening of this love is a glorious time, and yet it's a frustrating time. It's a time of longing for more and yet a time that needs to be there of waiting. As we saw last week, how sad it is that Christians see this time often as a problem to be overcome, the time of intense sexual longing, and yet some frustration and waiting, and Christians often see that as a problem time, how sad. While many non-Christians simply go to bed as soon as they have any such feelings, for their whole belief system is centered in self gratification whenever possible, and that is commonplace in our society. And here the Bible you see challenges the world to something far more wonderful, far more sexually arousing, far more intense than the world often recognizes at all. It challenges the world to something intense, but pure and clean and open and lovely. But here too, the Bible challenges so many Christians, doesn't it? It challenges us not to see those feelings as a problem, but as feelings to rejoice in, as feelings to share in. That's why this poem is in the Bible, isn't it? Isn't that why it's here that a couple share with us the joy of their longing for each other and their relationship with each other? You see the Bible challenges us here to use those feelings properly, to enjoy them and not to see them as a problem, to use them with respect for the one who is loved, and respect for God who showed us best how to enjoy and to use our bodies in the way he wanted them enjoyed and used, and he did want that because that's the way he created us. The whole picture is one you see that is relevant to every age, and especially every believing person. It's not just important for those who do now love in this way or will love in this way or who have loved in this way at some time in the past. This is teaching that we all need to hear as Christians because we need to know the biblical perspective on this sort of love. Whatever our position or our calling, whether God has called us to remain single through life or to get married or to be married, or God has called us at the moment to live as those who have lost spouses or loved ones, husband or our wife. Whatever our position you see, this is teaching for us. You see, we can pray for others. We may well be called upon to give advice to others, Christian advice, or we can enjoy what God has given us, or we can begin to understand better all of us surely, that spirituality is not just about how much we pray, or how much we read the Bible vital those things are, but it is about being godly in God's world and encouraging others to be godly and to enjoy his creation. To decry as dirty or less than spiritual, that which God has given us is a sin. In some Christian circles when dealing with this subject, it seems as though Satan has won. He hasn't, but it does seem that way sometimes. You see, Satan wants sexual feelings to be regarded as evil or sub-Christian. That is what he most wants. He wants that area of life that most people at some stage think is the center of their life, that is so much fun, so exciting, he wants people to regard that as unspiritual. He wants people to say Christians don't believe in this, that's what he most wants. He wants us not to give thanks, he wants us, or he wants the world to think that Christians are dull, they're against fun and particularly they're against sex. And we have to say that he has achieved that over the years, over the centuries, very often, not always, but very often. Now sad that one of God's greatest gifts to mankind is regarded by some Christians as something not to be talked about or discussed, something to be kept for a darkened room only when needs must. Let's be frank about this. Such is the deceiver at work. The fact is that this subject, which the world finds so hard to talk about, let me say the world does find it hard to talk about, but in spite of all the back pages, of all the magazines, particularly the women's magazines and the teenage magazines that you ever read, in spite of all of that, all the openness so-called about sex, all the display of sex on television, when I sit down with married couples in pre-wedding talks, the one area that they never discuss most often is sex. They're just unable to talk openly about their feelings for each other, isn't that interesting? It's very sad, but it's very interesting because we appear to think that we live in an age which is open and we'll talk about things. The Christian has a lot to offer here. Let's remember that this subject that so often we found somewhat difficult to handle is the area of life that God chose to use as a picture of His love for His people. Can't be more open than that, can you? We're going to come back to that in a future sermon. Let's remember that this area of life that we often find hard to handle is the area of life that God specifically chose to be a picture of His love for us. Our world doesn't look on sexual longing in the way this poem describes, godly control, that is prepared to face frustration and yet simply to enjoy the feelings of longing, that is not something we ever hear about these days. Sexual longing nowadays requires instant gratification, but that's nothing new. It was there in Solomon's day and before. You may wonder why we had that reading on page 37, I think it was, from Genesis 34. Just take another look at that passage. Genesis 34, I scribbled the page number down, tell me if I'm right, it's page 37 I think. The girl, Dyna, was the daughter of Jacob. She went to visit some friends in a different area and while she was there, the local ruler took her and raped her. But look at Genesis 34 verses 2 and 3. When Shekin's son of Hamor, the Hibeite or Herby pronounced that and I don't know any more than anybody else does, the ruler of that area, when he saw her, he took her and violated her. What happened here? Well the ruler called Shekin, wanted this beautiful girl sexually. No waiting, no tenderness, no time to build love to woo a bride, allowing her time to respond to his advances, nothing like that, nothing of what we see in the song of songs, nothing of the beauty of that. He simply raped her. No doubt as a ruler he thought he could get away with it anyway. But the third verse is very interesting here. Having raped her we read, his heart was drawn to Dyna, daughter of Jacob and he loved the girl and spoke tenderly to her. The problem was that everything was reversed. This was not at all how God had made things to be. Yes, he made men and women to want each other sexually, but he'd shown how these feelings of sexual longing were to be developed. Sexual intercourse was to be the fulfilment of a relationship. It was to be the final and best and most intimate expression of that relationship, of the development of the love and the tenderness between a man and a woman, and Shekin like so many of our generation had got it all the wrong way around. You can only imagine Dyna's desperation at being raped, but Shekin then thought he could make it up to her, you see. He did seem to love her, but the tenderness could not come later. The love could not be reciprocated later. The joy in each other's bodies could not be the subject of poetry and awe and wonder after all of this. The gratification is nothing new. Today most people live together before they marry, instead of sex being the wonderful completion of a growing desire with time to allow that desire to increase. It becomes something that must be done to see if people are compatible. How many times I've heard that said, long, long before it became common advice in this country, it was the advice to me and Sharon from my father-in-law. Make sure you're compatible, sleep together before you get married. We didn't, I should say, but it is common advice today from parents to their children. Very common advice. Christian young people with long, Christian parents especially get that advice very often. How those parents have got things the wrong way around? You see, God does want people to be compatible, there's no question about that. He doesn't want incompatible people to be getting married, but that's exactly why he doesn't want them to have sexual intercourse before they're married. In the song of songs, we have a God-given demonstration at the ideal. Here God shows us how love should develop with real passion, real sexual longing, real explicit discussion between the two of them. It shows us how bodies can be increasingly appreciated, how the time comes when marriage seems inevitable, conversation has been enjoyed, good looks have enticed, tenderness has seduced, desire has drawn the person along until marriage is inevitable for the two are compatible. You see how it works. And with that sort of tenderness and desire, with that sort of longing and love, with that sort of speaking and confiding and openness, then sexual intercourse becomes the greatest expression possible of the intimacy of that relationship. And if there are physical or emotional difficulties for the married couple in actually having sex together. If there are for many couples, then their marriage or their desire, their tenderness, their conversation will already have been so compatible, they will be working together so well already that they will be able to work that out in their marriage. And they will be able to talk about it and discuss it and sex will get better and better. See the world has got it the wrong way around. Our society is not that different from the times of Genesis 34. People want things that are in themselves wonderful and pure and right. But they want to have it all and want it right away and that's not of course just in the area of sex is it. It's across society and at heart it is a sign of greed and a distortion of God's creation. But in this poem, sexual longing is shown to be pure and holy whenever it's directed as God wants it directed, to the person God may be wanting you to marry. Next week we eaves drop on this couple on the night of their honeymoon. But for now we look at a couple who are waiting but strongly aroused by each other. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, for it is pure and lovely and what God wanted because God had made them for each other. Neither she nor he can easily wait for the wedding but that day is to be more glorious than they could ever have imagined. Now how are you going to apply this message tonight? Perhaps your single or you were married and your husband or your wife has died? Is there something here for you tonight? Surely there is. Surely this passage opens up to us all the need for our prayers first of all. For our prayers for couples, couples today who are under intense pressure, to take any view of sex and sexuality except the biblical one, prayer is something we can all get involved in. Pray for those who have recently married that they may grow just simply in their enjoyment of each other. Pray for that. Pray for our young people that they will find a Christian to fall in love with. A person they can adore in the way we read in this poem. A person they can talk with and who they can trust, not to arouse or awaken love in a way that is inappropriate for the time. Tonight perhaps some of you are living together or sleeping together? Well I think many ministers struggle with how to deal with this among the couples they see and speak to. Let me say that probably about eight out of ten couples who come to see me and talk about wedding plans or just to talk are already sleeping together or living together before they're married. So let's put that in the context of Hartford. It will be worse in some other parts of the country but that's how it is in Hartford. I think many Christians struggle with this. How do you handle this sort of situation but if you know and love the Lord and you want to be obedient to him and you are in that situation at the moment then I believe the Bible says you should marry or you should separate for the time being difficult, difficult advice. So often though we all fail the Lord's ideal in so many ways and we need to remind ourselves again tonight all of us surely as we look at this but the Lord forgives or who truly repent. In whatever area of life we're dealing with he forgave David for adultery and murder. That's the Lord we do know and love isn't it? Perhaps you have a non-Christian parent encouraging you to sleep with your girlfriend or boyfriend before you get married and you find this advice tempting, certainly you're getting it from your friends. We'll learn from this poem. Read the rest of it. Those of you who are only here tonight, read the rest of it, spend time on chapter 4 incidentally that is where clearly they are married. He uses the word bride for the first time and continues to use it in chapter 4 and just look at the difference of his description of her. That's for those of you who aren't staying with us next week. Learn from this poem about the wonder of that growing sexual longing for your partner. Remember God made you. Remember if your feelings are intense, God created you to have those feelings. They're not simple feelings when directed and used as he wants. Because he made you like that then his way is surely likely to give you the most intense and long lasting pleasure if you follow his way. A Christian partner will understand this and you can pray about your feelings together, rejoicing in each other's beauty and waiting for God's time for the fullest possible sexual joy in marriage. That's great. Father, we do thank you again for this wonderful book. Help us to learn the lessons that may be appropriate for us in whatever state you have called us to at the moment. In Jesus' name, Amen.