Storge

Thank you for listening to this audio production of Willow Creek Presbyterian Church in Winter Springs, Florida. We exist to glorify God by declaring and demonstrating the power of the gospel, inviting people to discover and deepen their relationship with Jesus. My wife and I just finished watching Downton Abbey together. I was very late on this because years ago my wife and my eldest son watched it together and at a few points invited me to watch it with them to which I always said no. I said no because it's British television and I'm an American. I've since learned the error of my way so if you are fond of British television know that I'm fully repentant, some of the best television comes through the BBC. Downton Abbey, no exception, I'm enjoying Sherlock now as well. So Downton Abbey, great show, if you've ever watched it you know that it is about a family of lesser nobles around the turn of the previous century from the 19th century into the 20th century and the changes that were going on in British life during that time of World War I, the roaring 20s and so on. I know if you've not seen it it sounds riveting, trust me it is, it's a great great show, truly enthralling but something stood out to me as I watched this show that maybe stood out to you as you watched it as well and if you've not yet watched it look for it when you inevitably watch it which you will because it's one of the best things ever made. Downton Abbey features many courtships and many proposals and it's interesting to me maybe this is a British thing over an American thing you'll have to tell me over here Gordon if this is the case but it almost invariably in every case there was a proposal almost invariably the response was I'm going to have to think about it. I don't know if it's a British trait or something but it seemed like nobody ever jumped on a marriage proposal and Downton Abbey with the exception of one or two characters most everybody was very deliberate about it all have to think about it and it would go on and on and on. I want to tell you this morning I am so glad my wife did not turn to me and say I need to think about it and I'll tell you why because had she taken a moment to think about it she wouldn't be in this room with us this morning and my four children would not be in this room with us this morning. I have benefited greatly from Molly's impulsive decision making and I want you to know that that's what stood out to me as I watched the show. If Molly had said I need to think about it I wouldn't be married I'd be probably in North Africa in a cave maybe transcribing holy manuscripts or something I would I am way too prideful to not hear an immediate response an enthusiastic response of yes. So as I watched that show and that stood out to me one of the things that it got me deliberating on was the various facets of love as we read them in the New Testament. The first love that Pastor Drew discussed last week is Filio or Filio however you might want to pronounce it don't let anybody deceive you you can pronounce it anyway you want it's fine but as Pastor Drew preached on Filio that friendship love that brotherly love we know the city of Philadelphia the city of brotherly love as we reflected upon that word of love one of the things that came through Pastor Drew's excellent message was there is a decisive quality to that love. When we enter into a friendship it is a product of choice it is a decision right there are people with whom you could be friends there are people with whom you probably should be friends but in the last analysis you don't need to be friends with anyone it's your choice there's not so much a drive as there is a fundamental decision to make when it comes to that kind of love and affection. When I was growing up one of my best friends one of the friends with whom I shared that kind of Filio brotherly love lived one house down the street his name was Dave he had three younger siblings the next in line was his sister and then he had two little brothers one was named Nicholas the other was Daniel and Nicholas was just old enough to play with us but Danny was way too young to play with us Danny lived most of his life as I remember in diapers and if I'm remembering correctly those diapers were usually to one degree or another messy and so Danny figured out how he could play with us even though we didn't want to play with him he would fill his diaper and then run after us and we would engage in a game of tag in reverse where he would try and catch us he never did this morning I can tell you honestly I can still smell those diapers in my mind so alarming so disgusting and so when I became a father I was a little nervous about changing diapers but you know when I look back on those early days of fatherhood one of the things I don't remember is a whole lot of decision making going on when I saw my child with a messy diaper I didn't think about it a whole lot I just looked at someone I loved and knew that they needed to be changed and went into action I'd like to think over time I got really good at it too like a NASCAR pit crew take the kids a little slap a new diaper on them a little bit of butt cream and often they were running I don't want to over stress my my paternal instinct there were times when I hesitated but in general that was a drive not a decision it was just a natural affection this is my child that's store gay filio is friendship love born of decision maybe a rising out of unforeseen forces certain commonalities and those sorts of things but fundamentally a decision store gay is not so much a decision as an instinct it's natural the Greeks use the word to describe the love that parents have for their children and that children grow to have for their parents quite independent of a decision a certain affection an affinity that just flows naturally Pastor Drew did a wonderful job of unpacking filio last week and used it to describe first God's great love for us that Jesus is not a shame to call us friends to love us in that manner of friendship God's choice to love us was in one sense a deliberate choice God went into it eyes wide open and what makes God's love so amazing is that he had every reason to not love us that way the Bible says in another place that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us and yet in another place says that greater love has none than this that a man lay down his life for his friends and that's what Jesus calls us how much greater is it when that one who came for us laid down his life for his enemies it was a choice there was filio at work and another form of love that we'll speak about in just a couple of weeks but this morning let me say that there is this other love at work in God's love for us and in the love that he desires we have for one another this store gay love because even though God made that choice we would be remiss if we were not to mention that God is himself love it's a very nature to love and so even though there was a decision to love in another sense there was a drive to love born of God's very nature his eternal nature God so loved the world the Bible says he sent his one and only Son God loves you he loves this world that he created and in Christ he's made a way to redeem it and to restore it so what is store gay it is that natural driven love on Friday we mentioned that the men gathered here at the church it was a great gathering if you were able to come out I hope that you had a good time it was the prototype of what we hope will become a staple here at Willow Creek not only this year but in years to come as for three times in the spring and three times in the fall we invite a a noteworthy speaker in some instances maybe even a nationally known speaker to share with us on issues important to men Patrick Morley was our first guest and Pete Allens in our founding pastor our friend was here to be our guest host he did a wonderful job he's going to be our featured speaker next month on March 6th and guys let me just encourage you even now as I'm sharing this message to go to our website and get your free ticket for the March 6th event it's going to be even better than what we did on Friday night we're really looking forward to it but as I entered into the chapel and I saw those men gather you know upwards of 150 guys from Willow Creek coming together to build one another up and to be encouraged I heard men greeting one another and they were in many instances referring to each other as brother hey brother how you doing hey brother how are you hey brother how are you and what they were testifying to whether knowingly or not in that moment was some theological truth that goes way beyond a mere pleasantry we are family in the church we are called to love one another as is family that's why we call Willow Creek quite intentionally a family we want to be a body of believers that cares deeply for one another because we've been cared deeply for by God tonight women are going to gather in the Crossroads Cafe right outside the worship center here to the left they're going to have a time of fellowship as well it would be as appropriate for them to greet one another as sister though probably not as culturally comfortable to do so but no less true that's why the Bible speaks of us as brothers and sisters that's why the Apostle Paul described himself as a spiritual father to younger men like Timothy and Titus a paparice that's why Paul encouraged women in the church to view themselves as spiritual moms to the younger women within the church and to help them grow up in faith my point is simple time and time again the Bible calls us family brotherly love should characterize us as Pastor Drew said last week filio but there should also be that natural love not only are we friends we're family not only are we family we're friends but you know in your own life those two don't always go together right that you're not always friends with your family members and you might have some friends who are not blood family but are nevertheless family to you their relationship has moved beyond friendship into family what God desires for us is that these two loves go together beautifully that beneath that bond that we share as friends there is a deeper bond a familial love natural love a drive an instinct to love one another I share this story a few years ago forgive me for sharing it again some of you probably didn't hear it two of my sons played on a soccer team when they were younger and as is often the case with boys you know they can nitpick it one another they can get into little disagreements and so on and probably that morning before the soccer game it was every bit the same but when they went to the game and they began to play it was interesting to me that something despite their disagreements prevailed as an even more powerful force between the two of them one of my sons was being tormented by another kid on the sidelines I was on the other side of the field looking across and seeing him being tormented he was the youngest guy on the team is that remember he might have even been bumped up from a lower team to that team because the other team didn't have enough kids to play and so there was one of my sons being somewhat tormented by a kid and I couldn't tell from the distance where I stood whether it was intentional and malignant or whether it was just otherwise good nature but annoying and so I watched it kind of unfold for a little bit until one of my sons ended up in a headlock and even then I couldn't discern the motive or the intent of the person there it was a windy day it was dark it was gray I was at a distance but I saw my other son looking and reading the situation very clearly and then I saw something I never thought I would see from any of my boys my all the sons arm went up and his elbow went back and I looked across the field and I could not believe as his fist flew across and connected with the kid that had my son other son in a headlock at the end of the game the both boys came back to the van both had tears in their eyes a little bit they were very young but for different reasons one for the torment that he had endured for a moment and the other for the fear of condemnation that he had done something I might disapprove of and let me tell you I told I'm not disapproving of you at all I am about ready to take you out for a steak dinner I am so happy that what you just did in defending your brother but as we drove home it was so interesting to me the tenor of their conversation was not the bickering it was not the fighting there was this bond of love that transcended it all and in another sense was deeper than all of it that they were family fundamentally even though they might not moment to moment be experiencing the fullest expressions of friendship do you see the difference you can be a family member but not necessarily friends with your family and there are friends that can grow into family this is these two words filet in store gay coming together and that's God's vision for us that we would move beyond mere friendship to being true family within the church I want you to listen to how CS Lewis described friendship he said friendship arises out of mere companionship in other words there's a couple of people together they're just hanging out maybe for work maybe for pleasure but they've drawn into proximity with one another and he says within that when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common some insider interest or even taste which the others do not share in which till that moment each believe to be his own unique treasure or burden the typical expression of opening friendship would be something like what you two I thought I was the only one it's when two such persons discover one another when whether the with immense difficulties and semi articulate flumblings or with what would seem to us an amazing and elliptical speed they share their vision it's then that friendship is born and instantly they stand together in an immense solitude one of my best friends in college I met him at the lunch table we were sitting at the table he was further down to my left as I remember I was further down to his right and we were engaged in two separate conversations with two distinct groups of people though we were at one bench row in kind of a mess hall style dining hall and as is often the case in the movie theater when I'm talking with my wife or one of my kids the room is kind of loud and then goes quiet all of a sudden and then whatever you're saying comes out at full volume and embarrasses you we at a moment where his conversation and my conversation we heard one another and I will never forget we turned and looked at each other and realized we were talking about the same things in the very same way he actually turned to me at the end of that conversation he said we are going to be friends he was in my wedding he was one of the guys in my wedding he's actually a fellow PCA pastor now in north florida we indeed have a lot in common but in that moment we met one another and we knew we were friends maybe you've had that moment with others maybe you've experienced that within the church where some commonality underscores you that you're not alone that you've got a companion but then over time that companionship grows into a sense that transcends friendship to something much deeper it goes to the level of counting someone family that's the call of sorghe in Romans chapter 12 verse 10 you find the only usage of this Greek word in the entire New Testament and it's not even used as it exists on its own it's made into a compound word sorry for the grammar lesson I'm not the one to teach it but I'm going to give it anyway sorghe is combined with the word that pastor drew preached on flayo the two are merged together do you see what Paul is doing he's taking these two concepts and he's uniting them into one reality family that behaves like friends family members that love one another like friends family born of instinct born of natural forces born of god's spirit but then reflecting itself in daily choices to live in harmony and peace and love and friendship true friendship with one another the truth is less god made us family you may not like that this morning as you look around the room but these are your brothers and sisters and you you younger ones as you're looking around your room you hear you know you need to know you have hundreds of aunts and uncles in the faith you need to know when you're at publics or you're out in winter springs and you run into one of us you should have the confidence of knowing we are as for you as your parents are you have an intimacy with them because you've grown up with them but we are as invested in you because you're part of our family and that's the beauty of god's vision for the church we don't always realize it but that's the beauty of it listen to how god made us family in Romans 8 if you have your bibles you can turn there it begins with a familiar verse Romans 8 28 very common verse but then it goes into some powerful theological truths that establish that god has once and for all made us into something that we were not before he has made us his children and by consequence a family in Romans 8 and we know that for those who love god all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose and then listen to this for those whom he for knew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his son in order that he might be this is Jesus the first born among many brothers as Jesus was restored to life through death we have died to sin and are now alive in Christ and we are part of the family of god verse 30 and those whom he predestined he also called those he called he also justified those whom he justified he also glorified what is Paul saying here fundamentally we being a family is not the product of our efforts it's an objective fact independent of our efforts independent of our decision in one sense it's the work of god but it has a consequence into which god invites us something that does take our effort we are a family whether we feel it or not whether we want to be or not that's what we are but if we would be friends within this family if we would be friends it requires a spirit empowered spirit enabled effort on our part second testimony in chapter 1 verse 3 listen to what Paul said to that church he said we ought always to give thanks to god for you brothers as is right because your faith is growing abundantly so Paul says we give thanks for you because you're growing in faith but listen to what he says the nature of growing faith involves he says and the love of every one of you for one another is increasing our denomination is kind of known for being rather cerebral it's kind of known for emphasizing the head over the heart in the hand when people malign folks from our branch of the Christian family tree even playfully that's what they say about us we walk around with gigantic theological heads tiny little dinosaur hands and shrunken cold little hearts we're called the frozen chosen by our brothers and sisters and other branches of the tree we're all family but we've got these little petty silly rivalries with one another but listen to what Paul says here he says the sign of maturing faith is not quoting the Westminster confession of faith it's not reciting Bible passages to justify certain doctrines important as those things are but faith without works is dead and Satan himself is quite the theologian if we're going to live the truth we need to know the truth but knowing the truth does not mean we're necessarily going to live it the proof of really knowing and believing the truth is that we walk in view of it by god's grace and that's what Paul is saying here is that reflects itself in love for god but in love for one another not born simply of choice but increasingly of a renewed nature a renewed impulse an instinct to love as we've been love first Peter chapter three verse eight Peter echoes these words he says finally all of you have unity of mind brotherly love sympathy a tender heart and a humble mind humility brotherly love tenderness you know I've been through many ordination exams I've been a pastor for many years and I've sat through many ordination exams and they emphasized the training theological training of pastors church history sacraments biblical doctrine uh Greek language Hebrew language we could go on and on and on and on but you know I think a more fundamental question that should always be asked is one of the qualifications of pastors listed in the New Testament is that they be gentle and I don't know in all my years of being a pastor if I've heard that ever queried on the floor of a Presbyterian exam and shame on me for not asking and shame on me even more for the times when I've not been gentle gentleness love tender heartedness this is the sign of maturity not weakness as the world might frame it it is but spiritually it's the pinnacle of strength and second Peter chapter one verses five through seven Peter goes on to say this is for this very reason make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue and virtue with knowledge there is a place for knowledge but knowledge for knowledge sake is bad so he goes on to say knowledge with self control uh an effect on our character and self control with steadfastness and steadfastness with godliness and listen what is next to godliness and godliness with brotherly affection and brotherly affection with love so what gets in the way of us enjoying this kind of love that we would not only be family but we would be friends well maybe it's isolation maybe it's isolation I read an article this morning a friend of mine posted a Lutheran pastor over in castle very posted and one of the things it was saying was that people today are so isolated from one another but but ironically connected but most of their connections sadly are mediated connections through technology and he said one of the difficulties for people today is to engage personally and that's what makes church so difficult and why church attendance so often is declining is because people don't like to be in situations when they are known because to be known is to be vulnerable and to be vulnerable is to feel threatened and sadly we have to admit that sometimes the church has been a threatening place not characterized by tenderness not characterized by love and affection but by harsh criticisms and judgments appearance driven spirituality and hypocrisy I know that's the case because I've been a part of it maybe it's self-reliance there's something in the human heart that has a hard time admitting we need anything we want to believe ourselves sufficient and so what gets in the way of developing deep friendships is that we believe it's a sign of weakness that we need them men I just want to look to you today and say that's certainly not a distinctly male issue but it definitely is a male issue sadly it's also an issue among clergy clergy are ranked as some of the loneliest people in our culture because they fear letting down their guard and being known I think for men oftentimes the feeling is if they need anything it's a sign of weakness and weakness should be avoided at all cost but but a Christian view of weakness is that weakness is an act of faith admitting weakness is saying acknowledging things as they truly are seeing things as they truly are we are weak we were never intended to be alone we were created in the image of a communal God father son and holy spirit and so in our hearts is a need for community we need one another we need friends sometimes our insecurities carry over into the church and even though we're technically in the church we balkenize the church if I can use that word or we make things tribal where we have our little clicks within the church the church to be a place where we're clicking together all of us but instead we click off into little groups and make others around us feel that they're not worthy of being in there can be rivalries within the church there can be self-righteousness there can be fear we could go on and on so what's the antidote the antidote antidote is always our Lord Jesus Jesus empowers us in the love that he's shown the love of God that he's shown the love that transforms us that drives out our fears with perfect love and reassures us that it's okay to what it's okay to step out it's okay to step out and be part of a community the writer of Hebrews Hebrews chapter 10 verse 25 says do not neglect gathering together as some are in the habit of doing says don't neglect it why because God's law is holy righteous and good and your best life is found in loving conformity to God's law do not neglect gathering together why because you need one another and let me say it this way too we need you one of the most beautiful things I see in the church is when somebody is missed when Justin was away he was traveling one of our members actually came up to me and asked hey where's that guy he didn't know Justin's name he just knew of Justin he was missed there are people who contact our church throughout the week and say how is so and so I haven't seen them in a little while they're missed we need you you are loved and you're not only love for what you can give your loved because you loved you're part of this so stepping out not failing to gather together we need that fellowship empathy the Bible says we're all members of one body when one member of the body hurts the other members of the body hurt with it God's vision for the church is that we've not only be like a family but a body that is functioning properly in harmony with one another when one member is wounded the other members feel it and respond to bring relief and one one member is doing well the other members of the body rejoice without showing favoritism no rivalries or clicks certainly there are affinities within the church and natural born friendships those aren't necessarily clicks it's just natural human relationship there are those with whom you're gonna have an easier connection but to be closed off to others is not what God desires for us any more than we would want our children to close themselves off from some of their siblings God our father loves to hear his house full in all of his children enjoying fellowship in one another's company it means admitting weakness and need not being afraid to admit that we need help that's the mark of a healthy family where where members are free to admit their need and then others with humility are inclined with empathy to help meet it it means trust and trust takes time but it can't grow if we don't commit to one another and the degree to which we commit and stay together we give air and nutrients to trust so what does God make possible in the life of a church what would happen if you were to grow to understand that God's not only called you to affirm something theologically that you are a family part of it but but you have a role to play in offering friendship and in being a friend what would happen if you were to step out from the margins and move a little bit toward the middle and maybe in faith overcome your fears to step out and go to an event that maybe you would have been scared to go to you wonder if if you're gonna be welcome there maybe tonight ladies you're gonna come out enjoy fellowship in the Crossroads Cafe and you're in your terrified I'm gonna walk in there I don't know anybody well if we're not if we're doing our job that feeling should be gone within a second of you walking in that room because there should be women walking up to you right away and say hey how are you I am thrilled to see you and you know what if they met you before don't make them feel bad sometimes I introduce myself to people I met before this is a family we can we can screw up enjoy the friendship that God has made possible in the body of believers it was a great story I'll close with this in the news this past week I shared it some of you saw it is a group of kids in Alaska bitterly cold snow blowing they got disoriented in some way and got lost they were kids the youngest among them two years old none of them terribly old as they were lost they realized that they were gonna have to in some way survive until rescue could be accomplished and they didn't know where that rescue would come from so what the older kids did the more mature ones is they dug a hole in the snow and they put all of the kids inside the hole with the oldest and more more mature members on the outside of the circle and they put the two year old and the youngest members on the inside and they hovered around the youngest and the weakest in their group and they survived wondrously they eventually were rescued I posted that on Facebook and one of my friends a friend who's a missionary in Mexico he commented that this is a beautiful portrait of the church and I think that's exactly what Paul is getting at here we have been invited to love one another not merely as a choice but as a drive born of God's spirit and as we love one another what we are constantly going to be doing is pulling those who are the weakest and more vulnerable to the most privileged and protected positions within the church and those of us who are mature and have grown to whatever degree are going to gather around them in love that's what church should be that's the invitation we have and that's the power we have because of God's great love for us thank you for listening to this audio production of Willow Creek Presbyterian Church in winter springs florida for worship times directions or just to learn more about the ministry of willow creek please visit us online at willowcreekchurch.org