The Sound of Silence

By Dr. David Lamb

By Dr. David Lamb, Dean of the Faculty and the Allan A. MacRae Professor of Old Testament at Missio Seminary

So my wife and I were at a camp in Wisconsin recently, and we ended up getting back to the Milwaukee airport four hours early. We like to get to airports early, but four hours is a bit much even for us. So we said, “Look, we both have a lot of work to do. We’ve got our laptops. Let’s just find a quiet, secluded corner of the terminal and get some work done.” Great plan, right?

I pull out my laptop, and immediately a cell phone rings. In this quiet, secluded part of the airport, a guy not far away answers his phone—on speaker mode, of course. And then he starts yelling into it: “Hi, yeah, this is Bob! Hey, did you get that spreadsheet I sent?” And I’m thinking, Wait… are you talking to me? No, Bob, I did not get your spreadsheet, and I’m not interested in your spreadsheet.

For the next 30 minutes, Bob yells into his phone in this quiet, secluded corner of the Milwaukee airport.

You know what they say: silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.

Today we’re talking about silence from the book of Proverbs—The Sound of Silence. Calvary has decided we all need to go to summer school, so this summer we’ve been studying Proverbs. In Proverbs, God offers us words of wisdom, and we would be wise to listen.

Carlos started the series with laziness and then pride. Two weeks ago, Charles talked about wisdom, and last week, addiction. When Charles spoke about wisdom, one of the topics he touched on was speech —“watch your mouth”— which actually sets us up perfectly for today’s topic: silence.

Before diving into Proverbs, though, I want to touch briefly on the prophet Elijah in 1 Kings 19. This is right after Elijah defeated the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel. Queen Jezebel declares she wants him dead, so Elijah flees. He ends up hiding under a broom tree. God sends an angel to feed him and then leads him into the wilderness near Mount Sinai.

At this point Elijah is depressed and nearly suicidal—and that’s when God meets him.

I’m going to read from 1 Kings 19:11–12:

There was a great wind, so strong it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces. That’s a serious wind. But the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind came an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire, a sound of sheer silence.

God revealed His power to Elijah in a tornado, an earthquake, and a fiery inferno. But somehow, God wasn’t present in any of those dramatic manifestations. God finally spoke to Elijah in the sound of silence.

We love the dramatic, but silence allows us to hear from God. Silence is golden.

Normally when I teach the Bible, I like to focus on a passage—five to fifteen verses—and look at it in depth. That doesn’t work as well in Proverbs, because most proverbs aren’t directly connected to the ones before or after. So this morning I’m looking at six proverbs scattered throughout the book, all on the theme of silence.

Let’s start with Proverbs 10:19:

“When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”

According to this proverb, there’s a correlation between the number of words spoken and the amount of sin committed. For those of you who love graphs, picture a simple X–Y axis: the more talking, the more transgression.

Have you ever noticed how many sins are connected to speech—gossip, deception, insults, verbal abuse, argumentativeness, pride? The more we talk, the more likely we are to commit those kinds of sins. So the person who restrains their lips is prudent—wise.

The book of James warns us that the tongue does great damage and is hard to tame. Our lips are almost like a cage for the tongue—a muzzle. Proverbs is telling us it’s wise to zip your lip.

How many of you have said something and later deeply regretted it? Almost all of us. Sometimes humans need muzzles. So let’s go back to the graph: try to stay on the left side.

This is where a spouse or friend can help us. After a meeting, I often ask my wife Shannon, “Hey, did I talk too much?” She often says, “Well… maybe.” Sometime this week, ask a friend or spouse, “Did I talk too much?” Parents should say that to children more often. Amen, kids?

Proverbs 11:12 gives us the next one:

“The one who belittles a neighbor lacks sense, but an intelligent person remains silent.”

This proverb isn’t talking about good-natured teasing but serious sins of insulting or showing contempt.

Why do we insult people? Sometimes insecurity. More often, because we’ve been insulted or falsely accused and we want to retaliate. That’s natural. But God’s Word says insulting a person made in the image of God is always wrong—even when they’ve insulted us.

After my book God Behaving Badly came out, Scott McKnight reviewed it on his blog. Scott’s blog has thousands of readers. One of them, a guy named Tim, posted a comment saying that after reading Lamb’s book, “you will want to smash your head repeatedly against the wall until you become unconscious.”

Wow. I guess he didn’t like my book. You think it’s funny—it wasn’t funny for me. It was brutal. In my anger, I started composing a reply.

Fortunately, God interrupted me.

“An intelligent person remains silent.”

So I was silent. And in that silence, it felt like God spoke to me. I sensed Him nudging me to say something like:

“Tim, sorry you didn’t find the book helpful. Perhaps books by Chris Wright, Paul Copan, or Eric Seibert might do a better job for you. Thanks for your honesty.”

That was hard to do. But when we’re tempted to insult someone, an intelligent person remains silent.

The next day, Tim apologized in the comments. We experienced blogosphere reconciliation—which doesn’t happen very often.

Proverbs 17:1:

“Better is a dry morsel with quiet than a house full of feasting with strife.”

Okay, so this proverb is describing two meals. One is like a Thanksgiving feast, and the other is more like a camping trip where you forgot all the food but managed to find a couple of granola bars. You’ve been there, right? Most of us would say, “Sign me up for the Thanksgiving feast, not the camping fast.” But wait.

The Thanksgiving feast comes with strife—tension and conflict. Unfortunately, that might feel a little too familiar for some of us at Thanksgiving. The camping trip, on the other hand, comes with silence, peace, and quiet.

As wonderful as that feast is, the wise person chooses the camping trip with silence and granola bars. Silence is golden.

Over 30 years ago, I went on a spiritual retreat at a Benedictine monastery. At breakfast and dinner we could talk, but lunch was silent. And to be honest, the food at the monastery was pretty simple—not much more than a dry morsel. At first I thought, “This silent lunch thing is really boring.” I actually liked talking to the monks—“So how did you decide to become a monk?” Their stories were fascinating.

But by the end of the retreat, I found myself really appreciating those silent meals—the peace, the quiet. I had time to think, to pray, and to hear from God, like Elijah in the sound of sheer silence.

Eat a meal in silence this week and let God speak to you. Bonus points if you do it with a friend.

Proverbs 17:28 says:

“Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.”

Some of you remember Charles mentioning this one a couple of weeks ago. It’s worth repeating. If you’re in a situation where you lack knowledge or information, wisdom often looks like keeping your mouth closed—like a muzzle.

Why do we do that? To listen, to learn, and maybe—just maybe—to think before we speak. That’s a new concept for some of us. Often for me.

In our world today, we tend to overvalue talkative people and undervalue quiet people. When I was in college, I served on a student leadership team for our campus fellowship. My first year on the team, I never spoke. Everyone else loved to talk. I was content to listen and learn.

What made it hard was that everyone assumed my silence meant I wasn’t engaged or following along. They never called me a fool—at least not to my face—but they assumed my role as a listener wasn’t as important as their role as speakers. It hurt that my silence wasn’t valued.

Proverbs values silence.

Some of you have been in situations like that—silent, engaged, thoughtful—and your silence wasn’t valued. Proverbs reminds us that silence is not a sign of disengagement. Silent people are often learning, processing, and listening deeply. If you’re one of the talkers, ask one of the quiet people what they’re thinking. You may learn something.

Before I read the next proverb, I want to talk briefly about Facebook—specifically, discussing controversial subjects on Facebook. Many of us assume—yes, I’ve done this too—that we’re going to change someone’s perspective online. We imagine it going like this:

One person posts a provocative political statement, and the opposing person replies, “Wow, I’ve never heard that before. You’re right, I’m wrong. Please tell me more so I can be enlightened by your wisdom.”

If that’s what we expect on Facebook, I’ve got bad news. That never happens.

But the good news is that Proverbs has something to say about this. Proverbs 29:9:

“If a wise man has an argument with a fool, the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet.”

In Proverbs, the wise are usually the good guys. But here, the wise person gets sucked into an argument with a fool—someone who rages, mocks, and refuses silence.

If you’re like me, there’s at least one person in your life you get pulled into foolish arguments with. For me, it’s a family member, and the topic—wait for it—is politics. These arguments have been some of the most volatile in my life. Each time, I think, “He needs to listen to me so I can enlighten him.” And curiously, he thinks the same thing about me.

We’ve always been close, but these arguments were tearing us apart. Fortunately, in the last few years, we’ve become wiser and avoided those subjects. It’s been deeply healing for our relationship.

The wise person avoids foolish arguments—and probably politics on Facebook—and is blessed with silence.

The sixth proverb is Proverbs 29:20:

“Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.”

What does it mean to be hasty in our words? We could paraphrase it as “quick to speak, slow to listen.” Or, more graphically, having a big mouth and small ears. Big mouth, small ears.

The book of James commands the opposite: be slow to speak and quick to listen. James wants us to have a small mouth and big ears.

In Proverbs, the fool is usually the bad guy. But here, the fool has a more hopeful future than the person who is quick to speak and slow to listen.

People who talk a lot don’t usually listen well.

My mother loved to ask questions. She had big ears. I grew up in a college town—Ames, Iowa—and our church always had a lot of international students from Iowa State University. My mom would invite them over for lunch after church. We had students from China, Uganda, Brazil—you name it. Mom would ask questions, and our guests would tell stories.

It delayed my watching Sunday afternoon football. But you know what? I received an education about the world, and I learned a lot about asking good questions from my mom.

Sometimes, though, after the guests left, my mom would say, “He talked too much.” She said that a lot. My mom was curious, compassionate, and caring—but one thing she couldn’t stand was a person who loved to talk and couldn’t listen.

The book of Proverbs would agree. Mom was a wise woman.

Now, at this point you might be wondering, “Does Dave really think all talking is bad?” No. With our words we can bless, encourage, and teach. I love how Ecclesiastes 3:7 puts it: “There is a time to keep silent and a time to speak.”

The Bible doesn’t say talking is the problem. The problem is talking too much, talking inappropriately, or talking when we should be listening—to others or to God.

As we strive to find silence in our lives, we’re going to encounter at least two obstacles.

Obstacle One: The Pervasiveness of Noise

We live in a world of noise—all that noise, noise, noise, noise. I sound like the Grinch. Traffic, TVs, loudspeakers, people talking all the time, people yelling into their cell phones at airports, speakers like Dave. People tell me I’m the loudest person they know. I’d be fine without amplification.

We bring our noise with us even when we go outside. People walk, run, bike, and drive with earbuds pumping noise into their ears wherever they go.

To reduce noise, I use noise canceling earmuffs. No batteries, no wires—just silence. I also like to spend time in nature. Less noise. Easier to hear from God and His creation.

If you don’t like earmuffs, go outside. Listen to God in His creation.

Obstacle Two: Our Fear of Silence

We often speak of an “awkward silence.” Silence feels like something to avoid, something that needs to be filled. So we fill every gap with sound—words, music, podcasts, audiobooks. All of those are great in their time and place. But there’s a problem when silence is eliminated from our lives.

Proverbs tells us not to fear silence but to embrace it.

I have a close friend who’s an introvert. For a long time, when I was with him, I worked hard to fill the space by talking and asking questions. I was literally afraid of the silence.

But more recently, I stopped fearing the silence. I embraced it. I let the silence linger.

And guess what happened?

He started talking. My constant talking had left no room for him to speak.

Embrace silence.

Why is silence golden?

* It’s hard to listen when you’re talking.

* It’s easy to listen when you’re silent.

* It’s hard to hear from God with all that noise.

* It’s easier to hear from God in silence.

Like Elijah, we need the sound of silence to listen to others and to listen to God.

A Personal Story of Silence

Over 10 years ago, I had damaged vocal cords, which reduced my ability to speak. God eventually healed me, but a few years later—after I was healed—I was not permitted to speak for three hours. My wife forbade me. And I always do what she tells me. That’s wise, right?

Actually, Shannon was teaching in the Gathering—our ABF, our Sunday school class. She had been leading a series on spiritual disciplines, and that Sunday the focus was silence.

Our class met from 9 to 10, and she challenged us to be silent for three hours: the break after class, the next service, the drive home, and lunch. Ten to one—silence. We could sing during worship, but that was it.

After class, I walked around silently in the lobby. I dreaded seeing someone I knew. But Shannon had thought ahead and given us a card that said, “We are practicing the spiritual discipline of silence.” We could show it to people.

I bumped into my friend Tony. He got really worried when he saw me not talking. “Dave, are you okay?” I showed him the card. He said, “Oh good—I thought your vocal cords were damaged again.” He knew how bad it had been for me.

As I walked around the church, voluntarily choosing not to speak, I have to say—it was awkward. But I was grateful. Grateful for God healing my voice years earlier, and grateful for the opportunity to actively listen—to my friends, to my family, and to my God.

Silence and Our Salvation

If you’re not convinced about the importance of silence, consider the role silence plays in our salvation.

Isaiah 53 speaks prophetically about Jesus as the silent suffering servant:

“He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth;

like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,

and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,

so he opened not his mouth.”

During His ministry, Jesus talked a lot—He taught crowds, told stories, asked questions. But right before His death, when He stood before the council and they asked who He was, Mark 14 tells us Jesus was silent and did not answer.

He fulfilled Isaiah 53.

If there was ever a person who had a legitimate reason to speak, it was Jesus. He was insulted, falsely accused. He was the Son of God. He was the Word of God incarnate.

Jesus might have avoided the cross if He had chosen to speak. But He was silent on the way to His own slaughter.

Because of Jesus’ silence, we are healed.

Silence is golden. Praise God.

Now, some of you may think giving a sermon on silence is a bit ironic. You’ve been sitting here in silence for 30 minutes while I’ve been talking—telling you to be silent—even though you already are.

Well, I’m going to stop talking now and give you a couple of minutes of silence. We’re going to spend two minutes listening to God, reflecting on these Proverbs, keeping silent before Him in His holy temple.

Ask God to speak.

Two minutes of silence.

…

“The Lord is in His holy temple; let all the world keep silent before Him.”

God, we thank You for the gift of silence. We live in noisy, hectic worlds. Help us embrace silence. We want to hear from You. Speak to us, Jesus, in the sound of silence. In Jesus’ name, amen.

This is based upon a sermon delivered by Dr. Lamb at Calvary Church of Souderton, Pennsylvania. It has been edited by Copilot AI, as well as the editorial staff at Third Millennium Ministries.