I could ask for a moment of pastoral privilege.
It's hard to tell you how much it means to me this morning to have introduced you to our campus outreach staff, these precious young godly men and women. And it's hard to tell you how much it means to me to have 11 of our own Covenant children stand in front of you all committed to spend their lives on some level. In ministry all over the world. Back in 1977 when I first came to Christ coming in as a college graduate myself and took my place here and became a young elder in this really young church, we tried to envision what the future might look like for us. We hoped that perhaps the Lord would grant his favor, but I gotta tell you, I never envisioned all of this. And it's very gratifying if we could do back. Andrew Holbrook sent me a link to a sermon or a talk that was given in Orlando at their conference on longevity. I've been making my way through that, but I certainly resonate with the sentiments of the speaker that there are some really wonderful things about staying in one place for a long time. And this morning I am reminded of that. So let's press on, if you are visiting with us this morning, I've already mentioned that Pastor Ross is on sabbatical. So we're using the summer months to address some very important and practical issues that are central to life in a series that we've titled Wisdom's For Life. We're using the book of Proverbs to help us with this. Proverbs is a book that's authored for the most part by King Solomon, to whom the Bible, by the way, attributes great wisdom, very great wisdom. And Solomon through the Proverbs and the inspiration, the Holy Spirit, expressed his wisdom there originally for the benefit of his son, but ultimately, of course, for all of God's people. Solomon addressed many topics in Proverbs, all of them relevant in his own time and it seems in our own. They remain relevant because the heart of man has not changed. Despite all of his remarkable cultural and technological progress, man has not been able to solve his ultimate problem that hinders and corrupts everything else he accomplishes. And of course, that problem is sin. And man's sin can only and ultimately be addressed in a comprehensive and lasting way through the gospel of Jesus Christ. And that's why the scriptures, including Proverbs, are forever relevant and valuable for us. And so we've been using Proverbs as a gateway to discuss issues that matter to us and to the Lord, issues like temptation and contentment, issues like marriage and children and respect for parents and the aged, issues like jealousy and envy, poverty and justice, just to mention a few. And this morning, it's my task to address yet another critical matter that's frequently mentioned in the Proverbs and the rest of the scriptures. It's an issue that I and the other pastors see routinely in our pastoral counseling. And as we'll see, the Lord has strong opinions on it and he issues frequent stern warnings to us so that we avoid the consequences that come with neglecting his instruction in the matter. It's age neutral. What I had to say this morning applies equally to you, adults and to you, young folk. And I'm speaking, of course, of our speech. The words we use day in and day out, which, as we will see in Proverbs, have great power both for good and for evil. So if you'll turn with me, please, in your Bibles to Proverbs chapter 18, verse 21, we'll use this one verse this morning to help us understand how vitally important our speech is to the Lord. But you do well to do your own study on the tongue, using Proverbs and the rest of the scriptures. You have sermon notes this morning. You'll see that I've included a long list of Proverbs dealing with our speech in those sermon notes. You'll be, or you should be, impressed with the sheer volume of text that complement this one Proverb. Solomon writes, life and death are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit. Pray with me once more. Father, you speak and as those made in your image, we too speak. The Bible says that your words are living and active. They are powerful and your words are designed and intended to give us life rather than death. And so would you teach us this morning how to think about this means in which we either imitate and please you or imitate your arch enemy Satan by the use of our tongue. For Jesus's sake, Amen. I want to set a context for our sermon this morning about the tongue by making some observations. First, it's important to remember that our words as well as our thoughts and our deeds issue from the heart. And the heart does not begin in neutral as it influences our speech and our thoughts and our conduct. What do I mean? Well, the Bible is clear that the human heart naturally has a sinful orientation. As we'll see in a few moments, our natural predisposition with their speech is not toward life but toward death. I think you know that from experience, but the Bible is very clear. Let's look at a couple of passages that prove this. The first is Mark seven, beginning in verse 20. Jesus is speaking and he says what comes out of a person is what defiles him for from within. Out of the heart of man come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these things come from within Jesus says and defile the person. I've said this to you in other sermons and I'm reminding you again, the heart is the engine that drives everything that we think and say and do. Your speech and my speech do not occur in a vacuum. And it's so important that you understand the Bible's theology of the heart in your sanctification if you or to experience last and change in this matter. Here's one more passage, Romans chapter three, verse nine. Where Paul is arguing that all men are great sinners in need of the saving mercy of God, he writes, what then are we Jews any better off? No, not at all. We've already charged that all, both Jews and Greeks are all under sin. As it is written, none is righteous, no not one. No one understands, no one seeks for God. All of turn decide together they become worthless. No one does good, not even one. Their throat is an open grave. They use their tongues to deceive. The venom of ass is under their lips, their mouth is full of curses and bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed blood and their paths are ruined in misery and the way of peace they've not known. There's no fear of God before their eyes. This is really a remarkable and central point that Paul makes in his argument that all men are sinners who need a savior. It is a brutal indictment of all mankind and it flies in the face of the modern belief that men are basically good. No says Paul, they're not. In fact, they're haters of God in their hearts apart from the saving work of Jesus Christ. And notice the particular evidence in the graphic imagery that Paul brings forth to sustain his claim, look at verses 13 and 14. Their throat is an open grave. They use their tongues to deceive. The venom of ass is under their lips. Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness. Our words put our hearts condition on exhibition. Mortlock Daniel writes, the tongue is the servant of the heart. Strictly speaking he says, the tongue never speaks at random. The tongue is the criterion of the moral man a diseased or a healthy heart is thereby truthfully advertised.
Here's a second point of context that I want you to keep in mind this morning. While it may appear that I'm addressing our spoken words like this proverb applies equally to the written word as well, whether in letters and emails or text messages or Facebook. However and whenever we express ourselves, our tongue is at work expressing the thoughts and intentions of our heart. And so you must think beyond mere spoken words this morning, even silence is a form of speech in some circumstances. One more point of context is in order and it's this. Our words are never delivered in a vacuum. They're delivered to others by facial and body countenance. We call that body language as well as by the tone and the volume of our voices. How many times I have thought that my words to my wife and children were neutral, only to discover that I had wounded them because my face gave me away. There is indeed a context for our words that resides in our faces and in our tone and in the volume of our voices. It's difficult to hide for better or for worse. Even in texting, I'm told it's possible to let others know you're not happy with them by using all caps, I think it's called flaming, isn't it? The point is this, it's nearly impossible to speak to others without revealing your emotions and sentiments. Be they joy or sorrow, gratitude or anger and contempt, no matter how hard you try. And so with these things in mind, let's look at this proverb and see what the Lord is saying to us this morning. The first thing I want you to see is that Solomon says that the tongue is endowed with power. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. He writes, one commentator writes of all the powers that man possesses there scarcely any more awful than the power of speech. It is a God-like power. Another commentator says the power of the tongue is infinitely reproductive. Its effects are incalculable. Do you have any doubt that this is true, that your tongue has great power? And it is rarely ever neutral. Since the tongue expresses the thoughts and tensions of the heart, it nearly always has an agenda and human beings love power, whatever its source. It's easy to think of power when we see the incredible benefits of electricity or engines or the destructive power of hurricanes and tornadoes. It's easy to think of strength and power when we see a weightlifter's body a couple of years ago, found a used total gem at a yard sale and she bought it for me. How kind of her? And since my boys love Walker, Texas Ranger and since Chuck Norris sponsors and advertises the total gem I thought, well, maybe with enough use I might be able to look a little bit like Chuck Norris and just maybe have a little of its strength and power. And so I've been using that total gem for the better part of two years. What do you think? Did I mention that laughter is a form of speech that can, I should have, thank you for it, my feelings at this point. But seriously, we don't necessarily associate power with the tongue, but the Bible does. And unlike physical strength, nearly everyone has the power of speech. And here's what you must remember, the tongue's power is primarily exercised in the spiritual realm rather than the physical realm. One could argue that when we wield the power of our tongues, the impact for better or for worse is greater than that of electricity or car engines or other powerful tools and technologies that enthrall us in our world. For the tongue's power targets the precious souls of men and women and boys and girls either edifying and benefiting them or violating and destroying them. So powerful is tongue is either a weapon or a tool of grace that Solomon says it has the ability to give life or take life. So it's a grave mistake to underestimate the power each of you has with your speech. And because this is true, we have an obligation to carefully steward our speech. This is the motif of proverbs and the rest of scripture. So crucial is this that we'll see a little later that God will hold us very accountable for our words. Solomon says that the great power of the tongue either brings death or life to others. Because the scriptures are inspired by God, we hold that this inspiration includes every letter, every word, and even extends to the word order. And so I find it interesting that Solomon does not list the power of life first in this proverb, rather he says first that the tongue has the power of death. Why is that? Perhaps the power of death is listed first because of what I said earlier about our tongue's predisposition to evil, our heart's predisposition, that is. Left to ourselves, we would likely wield our tongues as a weapon to see that we win, that we're in control and that life ultimately revolves around us. But for the Holy Spirit's presence to constrain evil and God's common grace, this would be our plight. So how does the tongue kill? How are we to think of that? There's a proverbial saying that's not from the Bible. You, I know you've heard it, it's well known. And so accepted, I think that I bet you can finish it for me. It goes like this, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Yes, you mumble. You are for me with that proverb, aren't you? Well, I'm here this morning to say that the Bible differs with that maxim, which we were perhaps taught by our parents and perhaps we taught our own kids. Words like sticks and stones do hurt and I would argue that the damage can be greater than that of sticks and stones. For while sticks and stones can break bones, words of death strike at the soul. The wounded soul is given rise to the practices of psychology and psychiatry and the world of professional counseling. The souls of folks wounded by words of death take a good portion of mine, other pastors weak to console and heal. Yes, words are more like sticks and stones than you may think. Many of you know what I'm speaking of. You were raised in homes where harsh and vicious words were the order of the day. Many of you rarely heard words of grace that give life and often those harsh and harmful words were accompanied by harsh and hateful deeds that simply confirmed what you heard and were told. And the damage done to the victims by such evil though hard perhaps to quantify is easy to observe. What kinds of words am I speaking of? There's a universe of words of death that the Bible speaks of. Let me list some categories that come from a commentary I read. There are severe words that are savage and malicious by design. Your worthless is their intended message. There are angry and contentious words that are like road rage to those that they target. There are false and deceitful words that are intended to fool and confuse others just as Judas attempted when he betrayed our Lord. There are whispering words that the Bible calls gossip and slander which destroy reputations and which issue from our tongues with barely a second thought. There are boasting and disparaging words that flow from pride and conceit and there are flattering words that are designed to manipulate others to self-serving ends. There are skeptical and judgmental words that refuse to give the judgment of charity. There are irreverent words that reveal a content for Almighty God and there are idle words that betray a wasteful mind without purpose or intent to be a value to others. Probably the best commentary ensunement about words of death in the scripture are found in an New Testament. Would you please turn with me to James chapter three? I'll begin reading in verse three. Listen carefully. If we put bits into the mouths of forces so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also. They, though they are so large and are driven by strong winds that are guided by a very small rudder, whenever, wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member yet at boast of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire and the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members sustaining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird of reptile and sea creature can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind but no human being contains the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father and with it we curse people who are made in the lightness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing my brothers. These things ought not to be so. I know that most of you have read this passage before but let me point out just a few things to sober you. It's as if James is fleshing out Proverbs 1821. First James is speaking to believers. He's speaking to us. And he's speaking about the tongue's power to destroy. First James says that the tongue's ability to destroy the souls of others made in the image of God is nearly uncontrollable and inexhaustible. It's more difficult, he says, to tame our tongues to detain any beast on the earth. Its ability to destroy is entirely out of proportion to its size. In verses 9 and 10, get to the heart of the matter. He writes, James writes, with it we bless our Lord and Father and with it we curse people who are made in the lightness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing my brothers. These things ought not to be so. James is pointing out the utter inconsistency, the utter hypocrisy and wickedness of assuming the liberty to use our tongues to bless God one moment and curse men made in his image the next. Friends, this is our problem. And Proverbs and James call it what it is. How grievous is this in the sight of our holy God? Jesus tells us in Matthew 5 verses 21 and 22. He's attempting to correct the prevailing understanding of the law God in his time, allows words to sink in. Jesus says, you have heard it was said to those of old you shall not murder and whoever murders will be liable to judgment. But I say to you that everyone who's angry with his brother will be liable to judgment. Whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council and whoever says you fool will be liable to the hell of fire.
Friends with these sobering statements from James and our Lord, we must conclude that it is a form of spiritual insanity to speak to others in destructive ways. And if this weren't enough to make us weep, it's my experience that we reserve those destructive words. Primarily for those we claim to love the most. Go figure. Somehow we feel the freedom to speak to them in a tone and with words we never use with other people. I see this very often between husbands and wives and often enough between parents and children. And I say this humbly because to my shame it marked my conversation with my own wife and children at one time. But I wanna say this should not be tolerated. Brothers and sisters, I say with James this should not be. It is unloving and inappropriate to allow such conversation to occur in your home. I'm just finishing a helpful book written by Leslie Vernick titled the emotionally destructive relationship. And reading it, I've been profoundly sober just how large a part words united with contempt and anger and manipulation play and destroying relationships with loved ones and with others. The Psalms contain many prayers of lament. These are prayers of God's people suffering the abuse and attacks of enemies. These laments are wonderful allies to us and our own sufferings as they express the heart of the sufferer. And it's common in the laments for the psalmist to mention the agony of soul associated with the vicious words of another. Psalm 574 is one example. The lamenter writes, my soul is in the midst of lions. I lie down amid fiery beasts, the children of man whose teeth are like spears and arrows whose tongues are sharp swords. The psalmist uses the imagery of a sharp sword to describe the tongues of his enemies. It's a very apt word picture. For words and speech of death, these words like a sword are thrust into the heart of another person intentionally for the express purpose of bringing harm to the soul of their victim. Do you see then why Proverbs assessment that the power of death rests with the tongue? That was where Proverbs 1821 ended. We'd all be rightly undone. But it doesn't stop there. Because it goes on to say that death and life are in the power of the tongue. Solomon is saying that even as their speech as the power to destroy it also has the power to give life to be beneficial to the lives of others. How valuable is this? I argue that life giving words are of anestimable benefit to the souls of men and women and boys and girls. And that in part is because there's a great lack of such words in our fallen, pain-filled world. Look around, listen to the news, observe families, it's tragic. And so life giving words are like a drink of cool water to the thirsty soul in a waterless desert. Have you ever been the beneficiary of life giving words? I have. I grew up in a home where words were used carelessly and were often hurtful. And so I entered my young adult life questioning my value and potential. One reason the gospel was so compelling to me when I heard it at 23 was that I understood for the first time that God loved me without condition and that he had died for my sins in order that I might have a life with him. Given my upbringing, that was really good news. But I'll never forget my last conversation with Ben Hooks. Ben was the first person to share the gospel with me. He befriended me and mentored me for a time. Ben was from Austin, Texas and he was leaving to return. And he had me over to his house for farewell dinner. And as we were saying goodbye just before I left, Ben looked me in the eye and he said these words, Bernie, never forget this. You have the potential to affect many lives for Jesus Christ. I left his house and I haven't seen or spoken to Ben since and that was nearly 36 years ago. But I've never forgotten what Ben told me that night. I often revisit his words. I've concluded that it was Ben's words of life spoken in a timely and intentional moment to me that explain on some level who I am today. I thought many times that I need to contact Ben and thank him. He has no idea what his words meant to me. I think it's possible to assess the health of a church by the quality of its conversation. You've been very kind to me and to my family with your words. And I'm sure I speak for the other pastors. How important is that? Well, if you come into my office, I could show you a special place in a drawer where I have placed your written notes of encouragement, every one of them. And I could show you a folder on my computer where I store the emails of encouragement you send me every one of them. And if it means that much to me, I'm sure it means that much for you. I learned a long time ago as a husband and a father to try not to let a day go by that my wife and children do not hear me tell each of them that I love them and that I'm for them. And I'm very confident that they never grow tired of hearing those words from me. Barbara, to point you to one passage that has helped me the most in stewarding my words for the welfare of others. It would have to be Ephesians chapter four, verses 29 and 30. If you turn with me there, please, I memorized this years ago in the New American Standard. It sits in the middle of a rather long paragraph describing how to live this new life in Christ that we have as believers. And here we find these helpful words. You possible, Paul writes, let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth. But only such a word is as good for edification according to the need of the moment so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. I want you to see just a few things. First, Paul uses the term and holds some word as a substitute for what we've been calling words of death. Rather than these, he says, we are to speak words good for building up others and according to the need of the moment that it might give them grace. That's long hand for words of life. And if I understand Paul's instruction, such words are intentional. Such words are timely and they are designed and tailored for the benefit of the hearer. To speak this way can be hard work because it's other focused and we should note that by speaking this way, we avoid grieving the Holy Spirit who by virtue of his indwelling is a witness to our conversation 24-7. I should say this as well. That sometimes words of life can be painful to the hearer because they come in a form of a godly rebuke or correction. They may be in the moment, they may feel like words of death but if intended to bring needed correction, you're actually words of life. And so long ago, I memorized Psalm 141.5. So I could recognize and receive a godly rebuke as it was expressed in a loving way because that psalmist writes, let the righteous smite me in kindness and reproof me, it is oil upon my head, let not my head refuse it. Words of life. Proverbs 1821 concludes with a promise and a warning. Let me read it for you. Death and life from the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruits. Our speech, whether it's written or oral, it bears fruit. We have certainly seen this morning that it bears fruit on the receiving end. Words of life and words of death bear fruit. But the proverb says that those who love to use the tongue will eat its fruits and God's economy, we also will either benefit or suffer from the stewardship of our words. Listen to how Galatians 6, chapter 6 verse 7, explains this principle, do not be deceived. God is not mocked. For whatever one soes, that will he also reap. For the one who soes to his own flesh, will from the flesh reap corruption. But the one who soes to the spirit will from the spirit reap eternal life. But it's not grow weary of doing good or induce season will reap if we do not give up. What an incentive to cultivate life-giving words that benefit others in doing that, we too are ultimate beneficiaries. But friends, many of us, I'm sad to say, have not taken this as seriously as we should. And so speaking words of death is what we do best. And so do you, let me add Christ's warning from Matthew, chapter 12, verse 36. Jesus says to us, I tell you, on the day of judgment, people will give account for every careless word they speak. For by your words, you will be justified, and by your words, you will be condemned. To the horror and regrets of many, we have learned that the words and the pictures that we place on Facebook hang around for a very long time. In a sense what we choose to put on Facebook is, I understand it, follows us much longer than we might like.
And what we put on Facebook is open to the world to see. For getting many folks, for getting this and not acting wisely, have expressed themselves inappropriately on Facebook, only to have employers and others listening. And their indiscretions have cost them their jobs and sometimes much more occasionally even death. If that is true on the scale of Facebook, a mere technology of man. What will it be like on judgment day? As we face our great God from whom nothing is hidden, that reality alone should give us pause as we're tempted to violate our loved ones or others, made in God's image with our speech. Out of his great love for us, God is modeled words that give life to us in the scriptures. Moses, last words to Israel, before he climbed Mount Nebo to die, recorded for us in Deuteronomy 32, beginning of verse 45. There, Moses says, and when Moses had finished speaking, all these words to all Israel, he said to them, take the heart, all the words by which I am warning you today that you may command unto your children that they may be careful to do all the words of this law, for it is no empty word for you, but your very life. And by this word, you shall live long in the land that you're going over the Jordan to possess. Our Lord's words were also words of life. He says in John 663, it is a spirit who gives life, the flashes of no help at all. The words that I've spoken to you are spirit and life. Our life of sanctification is intended to conform us into this wonderful and beautiful image of Christ. And that includes our speech. How can we begin the journey to see that our words give life rather than death? I want to suggest a few things for your consideration. I think it's urgent that we hasten to become self-aware of how our words affect others. And so perhaps even today, find some time to kindly and sincerely ask those who know you best how your words affect them
and use those some questions as a bridge to allow them to walk across and speak into your life. And if you're married, this certainly includes your spouse and your children. I want some questions. Here's a sample. Are my conversations with you primarily encouraging or discouraging? Do you feel respected when I speak to you? And if not, is that a frequent experience? Tell me more. How do my words typically leave you thinking about yourself and our relationship? Come up with your own questions, but the point is to be curious about how you affect others with your speech. If you're sincere, you will learn a great deal about how your words, including your body language and tone affect your loved ones. And if the feedback you receive is that your words tend toward death rather than life, let me urge you to repent before them and give them permission in the future to let you know that your words are crossing the boundary from life to death. I did that with my children some years ago. I gave them permission when we found ourselves in a heated exchange and they felt threatened by my words or tone to respectfully ask me, Dad, what's going on in your heart right now? I'll never forget when my son Jonathan asked me that question one day is I was using angry words with an angry tone with him. The question stopped me in my tracks. It pierced me to the heart. I immediately withdrew upstairs. I got alone with the Lord to evaluate Jonathan's question and I shortly found myself asking his forgiveness. I've never forgotten that. It's one of the best things he's done for me. My children have never violated their permission to respectfully hold me accountable for my words. I bet yours wouldn't either if you're a parent. I would also recommend that you do some reading on the topic. There's an excellent book written by Paul Trip. It's titled War of Words, Getting to the Heart of Communication Struggles. It's in your sermon notes. And I'll remind you again that I've included a long list of proverbs in your sermon notes that speak about this issue of our conversation. Please consider them. Perhaps today you're here and the idea of cultivating life-giving speech seems not only strange to you, but either a necessary or impossible. Then I want to invite you first to the Lord Jesus Christ. A moment ago I read Jesus' words of life from John 663, the words that I've spoken he said to you are spirit and life. In that exchange with his disciples, the fuller intent of Jesus' meaning was that his words bring eternal life, a new beginning. Only a few verses later, the Apostle Peter, understanding this, it exclaims what believers throughout the centuries have acknowledged. Peter says, Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life and we have believed and have come to know that you are the holy one of God. And so I invite you to receive Christ's words of life and then to join the rest of us in this pursuit of being as ambassadors with our words with the mighty help of his spirit to our families and to our brothers and sisters in Christ and to a dying and lost world. Pray with me, please. Father, we readily admit that our words are too often not words of life but rather death. Forgive us and help us through your indwelling spirit to pursue speech that makes us truly human in Christ's name our man.